Imsmilingwide
Rising Star
Hey fellow people at DMT Nexus..
I wanted to introduce myself, share a little bit about myself and my first greeting with spice.
Well Im freshly 18 last September, young I am.
Ive always wanted to help people and just use my existence as a tool to impact this marvelous world in a better way.
Ive always been intrigued by what cant be explained by science.. I was raised by parents that never forced anything on me and let me mold into my own individual self from a very early age. I spent alot of time in nature when I was young and had such an enormous passion for all things living, I could cry over the death of an ant when I was younger.. Because to me Life is Life. Kind of sidetracking but I have been blessed with an amazing memory, I can remember dreams and experiences extremely vividly going as far back to my very early childhood. When I was 3 to 5 (all I can recall is I hadnt started kindergarten) I had my first and to this day only out of body experience.. It was very meaningful and I think played a vital role in my fascination with spirits, ghost, god, death, lucid dreaming ect. Its one of the toughest to recall but I remember literally flying through the clouds, talking with a voice about the importance of life and this "big picture".. It made me understand from early on the importance of living in harmony and peace, and to stick up for what is right, whats in your deepest fire of your heart.
However when I turned about 9 my parents divorced, My mom was my only guardian and did what any good parent would do and that is support me. She unfortunately was rarely home and one of my neighbors called the state, they took me away and placed me in foster care. The places were very unethical, I endured alot of psychological abuse. I saw such horrible things, the staff in these places were sometimes sadistic and hurt kids. Kids hurt each other, and the only solution in these places seemed to be heavy medication. Ive been on over 50 brand name pharmaceutical drugs from the age between 11-14. Once I had an allergic reaction and another time the doctor had me on so much medication I over dosed and had to go to the ER. I attempted suicide a couple of times during that time period. After coming out of these places, I was filled with incredible hatred and the feeling of being betrayed, to this day I have a hard time comprehending why I was the one to go through these things, but Im letting go and moving forward. In my freshman year I quit going to school, I felt so alienated from society and was constantly depressed, my ego exploded.. I felt like I had this "F the world, go get rich and be selfish for what you went through type of attitude" while I was conflicted because I knew deep down thats not how things were before and didn't need to be now. I dropped the medicines altogether in my sophmore summer. I went through terrible withdrawals and life really sank down hill. But slowly things have went uphill.
Now lets fast forward to 6 months ago.. I started experimenting with cannabis, reading books on different philosophies of life and started to learn that all these fascinations I had when I was younger had classifications, Lucid dreaming and astral projection were the first things.
Eventually I read about DMT in these books and started doing research. I was won over and wanted it but had no clue where to obtain it.. I figured I would just have to wait until it found me, and soon enough it did. A friend who sold me weed out of nowhere asked me If I knew what DMT was, I told him I did and wanted a dose. The next day I had this pure white plastic smelling powder in my possession.
The Trip...
So the following weekend I had a trusted friend come over to sit me. I read reports and had an Idea of what could happen.
So after deep breathing I loaded my pipe and took a huge drag, then another.. I heard the infamous buzzing noise and felt this abnormal pressure on my body. My vision went kaleidoscopic, all these bright colors and this tunnel of energy.. Just as quickly it flashed away and I was in my room, my leather couch had faces.. My blanket moved on its own like the waves of an ocean, and everything was enhanced, the coffee table next to me was the same but like a crystalline wooden architectural masterpiece. I looked at my friend and he was covered in ants, they were all over me and everywhere in my room. I remembered not to be completely blown away and try to observe, sit back and look for lessons. When I payed attention I noticed the ants marched together to my table, this utopia of beauty so complex no human brain could create it at will. The more ants that made it to the coffee table the more beautiful the designs became. I closed my eyes and stared up again and saw a blue pink horizon slowly fading. I remember the bearably overwhelming joy and insight flooding my brain. When I came down I tried to draw meaning from the experience, although the lesson is simple I have been reunited with the importance of what working together for the same beneficial cause can achieve, simple but if you look at modern day society you can see how forgotten such an idea is. That night I had a felt like my ego was stomped to death, just for being able to breathe I was so happy I cried tears of joy even in my sleep. The next few days I felt like that, the intense happiness faded but I am okay with that, because I know DMT is not a permanent cure for depression. But in my view a tool we can use to help live better if we apply ourselves to over come our issues.
My ego has taken a loss, but not to a huge degree. I am not using DMT anytime soon, as I have thinking to do and everyday Im doing things without its help to shrink my ego and live a more selfless life. And its working. I know I'll never be a child again, but Im on my way to achieving the same important mind frames and passions I lost to the corruption of a series of unfortunate events. When I am ready to risk letting it all go I will surrender to DMT again.
thanks for reading, and one thing I left out is, to overcome the anxiety and fear during my first experience, I just smiled and decided I would accept what would be shown.
Thats something I never thought about applying to everyday life I guess because of how simple it is, and thats exactly what I will do no matter how gloomy life feels. Just keep smiling.
I wanted to introduce myself, share a little bit about myself and my first greeting with spice.
Well Im freshly 18 last September, young I am.
Ive always wanted to help people and just use my existence as a tool to impact this marvelous world in a better way.
Ive always been intrigued by what cant be explained by science.. I was raised by parents that never forced anything on me and let me mold into my own individual self from a very early age. I spent alot of time in nature when I was young and had such an enormous passion for all things living, I could cry over the death of an ant when I was younger.. Because to me Life is Life. Kind of sidetracking but I have been blessed with an amazing memory, I can remember dreams and experiences extremely vividly going as far back to my very early childhood. When I was 3 to 5 (all I can recall is I hadnt started kindergarten) I had my first and to this day only out of body experience.. It was very meaningful and I think played a vital role in my fascination with spirits, ghost, god, death, lucid dreaming ect. Its one of the toughest to recall but I remember literally flying through the clouds, talking with a voice about the importance of life and this "big picture".. It made me understand from early on the importance of living in harmony and peace, and to stick up for what is right, whats in your deepest fire of your heart.
However when I turned about 9 my parents divorced, My mom was my only guardian and did what any good parent would do and that is support me. She unfortunately was rarely home and one of my neighbors called the state, they took me away and placed me in foster care. The places were very unethical, I endured alot of psychological abuse. I saw such horrible things, the staff in these places were sometimes sadistic and hurt kids. Kids hurt each other, and the only solution in these places seemed to be heavy medication. Ive been on over 50 brand name pharmaceutical drugs from the age between 11-14. Once I had an allergic reaction and another time the doctor had me on so much medication I over dosed and had to go to the ER. I attempted suicide a couple of times during that time period. After coming out of these places, I was filled with incredible hatred and the feeling of being betrayed, to this day I have a hard time comprehending why I was the one to go through these things, but Im letting go and moving forward. In my freshman year I quit going to school, I felt so alienated from society and was constantly depressed, my ego exploded.. I felt like I had this "F the world, go get rich and be selfish for what you went through type of attitude" while I was conflicted because I knew deep down thats not how things were before and didn't need to be now. I dropped the medicines altogether in my sophmore summer. I went through terrible withdrawals and life really sank down hill. But slowly things have went uphill.
Now lets fast forward to 6 months ago.. I started experimenting with cannabis, reading books on different philosophies of life and started to learn that all these fascinations I had when I was younger had classifications, Lucid dreaming and astral projection were the first things.
Eventually I read about DMT in these books and started doing research. I was won over and wanted it but had no clue where to obtain it.. I figured I would just have to wait until it found me, and soon enough it did. A friend who sold me weed out of nowhere asked me If I knew what DMT was, I told him I did and wanted a dose. The next day I had this pure white plastic smelling powder in my possession.
The Trip...
So the following weekend I had a trusted friend come over to sit me. I read reports and had an Idea of what could happen.
So after deep breathing I loaded my pipe and took a huge drag, then another.. I heard the infamous buzzing noise and felt this abnormal pressure on my body. My vision went kaleidoscopic, all these bright colors and this tunnel of energy.. Just as quickly it flashed away and I was in my room, my leather couch had faces.. My blanket moved on its own like the waves of an ocean, and everything was enhanced, the coffee table next to me was the same but like a crystalline wooden architectural masterpiece. I looked at my friend and he was covered in ants, they were all over me and everywhere in my room. I remembered not to be completely blown away and try to observe, sit back and look for lessons. When I payed attention I noticed the ants marched together to my table, this utopia of beauty so complex no human brain could create it at will. The more ants that made it to the coffee table the more beautiful the designs became. I closed my eyes and stared up again and saw a blue pink horizon slowly fading. I remember the bearably overwhelming joy and insight flooding my brain. When I came down I tried to draw meaning from the experience, although the lesson is simple I have been reunited with the importance of what working together for the same beneficial cause can achieve, simple but if you look at modern day society you can see how forgotten such an idea is. That night I had a felt like my ego was stomped to death, just for being able to breathe I was so happy I cried tears of joy even in my sleep. The next few days I felt like that, the intense happiness faded but I am okay with that, because I know DMT is not a permanent cure for depression. But in my view a tool we can use to help live better if we apply ourselves to over come our issues.
My ego has taken a loss, but not to a huge degree. I am not using DMT anytime soon, as I have thinking to do and everyday Im doing things without its help to shrink my ego and live a more selfless life. And its working. I know I'll never be a child again, but Im on my way to achieving the same important mind frames and passions I lost to the corruption of a series of unfortunate events. When I am ready to risk letting it all go I will surrender to DMT again.
thanks for reading, and one thing I left out is, to overcome the anxiety and fear during my first experience, I just smiled and decided I would accept what would be shown.
Thats something I never thought about applying to everyday life I guess because of how simple it is, and thats exactly what I will do no matter how gloomy life feels. Just keep smiling.
