I consider it all constructive criticism and I'm not offended,

It seems more like you just are telling me what is up, to help me go in the correct direction.( it is the " The Nexus Nursery" and I am a totally new to this)

What I mean by enlightenment is that I felt a shift in energy many years and now understand life in a way which I feel is better in a sense, to be even more clear not in a religious way, but just the truth, the funny thing is though... life as I know it is still a big f**king mystery to me lol