#1 The what the f*ck 'it's like I'm making this up' p*ss-take trip:
I can hardly even be specific any more, not on this one. All I can remember is laying down, somewhere, hot things where burning me without pain, there was some sort of electrode inside my nasal cavity, and travelling down my throat, and I was at a 'party' of some kind.
Yeah I know, a party! Full of entities, mostly human, dancing and and laughing and blowing trumpets or horns of some kind, with crazy splashes of colour like ghost-paint . At one point I could have sworn one of them poured a bottle of something on me.
I need to stress at this point that I'm aware that some people do exaggerate their trips, and add in fantastical material. I though these jesters and things at the top of the nexus forum in the banner did not really reflect anything I had seen before, but now they seem very real indeed. One of the entities had some sort of mask, with a pointy nose and eyes that where just spinning pools of madness.
#2 The infinty of everything and nothing. What is everyhting? What is 'what'? Grid:
Later I tried to re-enter, and this time It was even wilder. Both these journeys where on 29mg, my magic number it seems, yet this one was probably the most insane thing I’ve ever experienced in my life bar none, ever.
After passing through the gateway I was in some sort of palace of light. Music surrounded me and I accepted my place. Once again I just let myself go.
Where I went I can't even fathom. The image zoomed out and it was revealed I was in a colossal grid of light, and I knew instantly that this was EVERYTHING. It's like zooming out from the planets, galaxies and beyond, further and further, until what you find is this. The grid.
In the grid nothing makes sense, and everything makes sense. Words are meaningless. I tried to say what the f*ck but the very phrase seemed alien to me. The music seemed like it was somehow wrong, like I was hearing the inside of the music, and it made no sense at all. Nothing did. I myself made no sense. Who the hell was I? What is 'me'. Every word and thought became an endless chatter, and one word I can recall would be spelled something like: 'hahrbrukheijis'. It wasn't spoken normally, and every syllable fell on the same -d-d-d-d-d-d pulse as the whole world around me. Whether the word was part of a longer word or not I can't remember, as most of the words sounded like more than just 'sounds'. I tested to see if I could bring some reality into it, and for some reason I thought 'who do I love?'. For some reason it ended up being an ex-girlfriend, but I couldn't recall her face or anything about her, just the concept of her. As soon as this concept arose, it immediately made zero sense. I couldn't remember where I was, when I started to come back the objects around me were alien to me, I didn't understand what a pillow was. I didn’t understand anything at all, yet now, I felt I could understand everything. Because I had seen it's true nature. And it's true, the senselessness of existence. Harsh as it is, we are at the mercy of chaos, too small and powerless to do anything about it.
Two very bizarre sessions indeed. Those entities from the first one must have been showing me that I cannot control any of this. I don't know. I've never had a bad trip before, and I'm undecided as to whether this was one. What the hell was this?
The last one was beautiful, these were just WILD as hell. My nerves were absolutely shot.
*EDIT* I do remember some entity doing something to me as I lay down, something with a rod of light along next to my body. It's not the first time that's happened. Or was it? It's like I was being distracted whilst this happened, like being shown a picture of a cute bunny whilst being stuck with a needle. Odd. Is hyperspace making fun of me or trying to blow my head off? Certainly not the cheery welcomes I have received previously.
*EDIT on September 15 2013*... jbark reminded me of this old post... Reading this it seems I feared this may have been a bad trip at the time... but my experiences since then have shown that no, this was nothing like a bad trip, in fact compared to a bad trip, this was just a 'whatever'. Still crazy though, I had a lot more guts back then before I had them beaten out of me.
I can hardly even be specific any more, not on this one. All I can remember is laying down, somewhere, hot things where burning me without pain, there was some sort of electrode inside my nasal cavity, and travelling down my throat, and I was at a 'party' of some kind.
Yeah I know, a party! Full of entities, mostly human, dancing and and laughing and blowing trumpets or horns of some kind, with crazy splashes of colour like ghost-paint . At one point I could have sworn one of them poured a bottle of something on me.
I need to stress at this point that I'm aware that some people do exaggerate their trips, and add in fantastical material. I though these jesters and things at the top of the nexus forum in the banner did not really reflect anything I had seen before, but now they seem very real indeed. One of the entities had some sort of mask, with a pointy nose and eyes that where just spinning pools of madness.
#2 The infinty of everything and nothing. What is everyhting? What is 'what'? Grid:
Later I tried to re-enter, and this time It was even wilder. Both these journeys where on 29mg, my magic number it seems, yet this one was probably the most insane thing I’ve ever experienced in my life bar none, ever.
After passing through the gateway I was in some sort of palace of light. Music surrounded me and I accepted my place. Once again I just let myself go.
Where I went I can't even fathom. The image zoomed out and it was revealed I was in a colossal grid of light, and I knew instantly that this was EVERYTHING. It's like zooming out from the planets, galaxies and beyond, further and further, until what you find is this. The grid.
In the grid nothing makes sense, and everything makes sense. Words are meaningless. I tried to say what the f*ck but the very phrase seemed alien to me. The music seemed like it was somehow wrong, like I was hearing the inside of the music, and it made no sense at all. Nothing did. I myself made no sense. Who the hell was I? What is 'me'. Every word and thought became an endless chatter, and one word I can recall would be spelled something like: 'hahrbrukheijis'. It wasn't spoken normally, and every syllable fell on the same -d-d-d-d-d-d pulse as the whole world around me. Whether the word was part of a longer word or not I can't remember, as most of the words sounded like more than just 'sounds'. I tested to see if I could bring some reality into it, and for some reason I thought 'who do I love?'. For some reason it ended up being an ex-girlfriend, but I couldn't recall her face or anything about her, just the concept of her. As soon as this concept arose, it immediately made zero sense. I couldn't remember where I was, when I started to come back the objects around me were alien to me, I didn't understand what a pillow was. I didn’t understand anything at all, yet now, I felt I could understand everything. Because I had seen it's true nature. And it's true, the senselessness of existence. Harsh as it is, we are at the mercy of chaos, too small and powerless to do anything about it.
Two very bizarre sessions indeed. Those entities from the first one must have been showing me that I cannot control any of this. I don't know. I've never had a bad trip before, and I'm undecided as to whether this was one. What the hell was this?
The last one was beautiful, these were just WILD as hell. My nerves were absolutely shot.
*EDIT* I do remember some entity doing something to me as I lay down, something with a rod of light along next to my body. It's not the first time that's happened. Or was it? It's like I was being distracted whilst this happened, like being shown a picture of a cute bunny whilst being stuck with a needle. Odd. Is hyperspace making fun of me or trying to blow my head off? Certainly not the cheery welcomes I have received previously.
*EDIT on September 15 2013*... jbark reminded me of this old post... Reading this it seems I feared this may have been a bad trip at the time... but my experiences since then have shown that no, this was nothing like a bad trip, in fact compared to a bad trip, this was just a 'whatever'. Still crazy though, I had a lot more guts back then before I had them beaten out of me.
