DmnStr8
Come what may
Doc Buxin is a friend of mine. Many here I consider friends of mine. Although many us have never met in person I do feel many connections within this community.
I had not heard from Doc for sometime on these forums and began to worry about him. I messaged him and found out why he has not been on the nexus for while. During out correspondence recently, he gave me permission to share his PM to me.
Sometimes we all go through hard times in life. Sometimes we need some extra support. I share this in hopes that we can support Doc now. I hope this kind of support will spread out into this community. You are not alone. People think about you. You touch people and may have no idea. I can personally state that I have found support on the nexus. I have found friendship. I have found teachers. I have found community. We are the Nexus! This place is something special!
Thinking about you Doc!
I had not heard from Doc for sometime on these forums and began to worry about him. I messaged him and found out why he has not been on the nexus for while. During out correspondence recently, he gave me permission to share his PM to me.
Sometimes we all go through hard times in life. Sometimes we need some extra support. I share this in hopes that we can support Doc now. I hope this kind of support will spread out into this community. You are not alone. People think about you. You touch people and may have no idea. I can personally state that I have found support on the nexus. I have found friendship. I have found teachers. I have found community. We are the Nexus! This place is something special!
Doc Buxin said:I haven't been around the Nexus at all in a while because I haven't been in what I consider to be my personal "right mindset" to be able to give beauty, joy, love and knowledge to all our brethren there.
To summarize the longest-ass story ever, let's just say that my wife & I have been dealing with our youngest child, who, severely emotionally & mentally disturbed, along with bouts of meth use (any way you put it, basically, an UGLY SCENE), decided to move back with us at 20 years old and proceed to further dig her life & soul into a hole, and then moved her abusive, controlling, violent (and also greatly emotionally & mentally disturbed with periodic meth episodes) boyfriend in with her/us (we never, ever should have allowed it in the first place; man, we can be such suckers sometimes as parents!)...soooooo, we've been making the best of it!
Both my wife & I have more or less matched the "hell" that was, and has been brought onto our little farm (that we've been attempting so stalwartly to turn into a little Garden of Peace, Love & Kindness) with prayers, meditation, love, light, fasting, extremely excruciating spiritual work on levels that I never even imagined existed decades ago when I first set out on The Path, and literally never-ending, good, old-fashioned, ranch work (I literally have had 2 days completely off of work in 2018 so far; I might get one or two more if I can play my cards right, LOL.
Needless to say, from the tragic, nastiness of what we've been going through for the past 6 months or so, I can confidently tell you that somehow my soul, my SELF, you know, my "pure consciousness/love/light thingy", has undergone some seriously radical transitions that have been on par with the most intense psychedelic revelations and integration periods that you or I have ever experienced in our piddly, little lifetimes.
It has been, and still is in an enormous way, humbling to the very core of my being, and has been literally bringing me closer to God/ONE/The Source due to that humbling.
There really isn't much left of an egoistic "me" these days. Just enough to make it through another work day on the ranch, and the occasional herbal medicine consultation.
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for caring. Please pray for me, I need it badly.
However, no sympathy and no feeling sorry. My soul is strong and shines with the Light of a thousand suns and the Love of Christs & Buddhas and will forever be ok because of the unending Grace & Mercy that has been shown to me.
May we ALL find our PEACE
Doc Buxin
Thinking about you Doc!