I used to wonder as you if "being one" translates to profound sorrow or boredom or something to that extent. Though of course, I'm still in no position to say, after my first full white light merging with the godhead, when time slowed to halt before seemingly stopping completely, it became startling clear to me in that instant that boredom is a function of time. With no time to elapse, there can be no boredom. Food for thought