Ego Death?

[Buttsack]

I've tried the spice a couple of times and have not yet reached hyperspace. Every time I seem to go to a room where these elves show me cool shapes and objects. At the start this seemed cool but after the 4th time it gets a bit old. It's as if they are trying to keep me entertained to stop me travelling further.

Every time has been about .06 of spice but maybe it's not pure enough. The last time I tried to reach hyperspace this is what happened.

I found a nice quiet spot in the bush and loaded up my GVG with .06 of spice. I slowly heated the top and breathed in slowly till my lung we're full. I felt the spice starting to come on and then it hit me. I started thinking about what was happening and what things mean. Then I thought maybe it was my ego making up what I was thinking.

I took another big hit and held it for as long as possible. This didn't take me into hyperspace but instead everything around me was moving rapidly. There was lots of long grass around me and 1 piece started moving like crazy. I felt as though it was trying to tell me something but was moving way to fast and seemed to be giving me an information overload. I then became very confused as to who, where and what I was and doing. I put the pipe down and became a bit scared. I thought this could send me crazy, since I had no control of what was going on.

I'm not sure how long all of this lasted but there was way too much happening at once to remember. Would this have been an ego death experience?

I thought I'd had an ego death experience before this but they didn't make me scared or forget who I was. The other experiences were on LSD and lasted 10-15min. They just seemed as though all the fractals we're absorbed till there was nothing and all my visuals started from scratch.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? Any tips on getting into hyperspace?

Also when I vape it and take a big hit I seem to be doing a lot of swallowing trying to keep the smoke in. I think I might just need more practice though.

 

[obliguhl]

I started thinking about what was happening and what things mean.

In my experience, it's best not to do that. You might wanna try to focus on the experience itself, not on the thoughts about it. This process is being refered to as "letting go". It can actually be pretty hard, because the harder you try the less you will achieve...what you want is a state of complete exctasy, without ANY room for thoughts.

This didn't take me into hyperspace but instead everything around me was moving rapidly. There was lots of long grass around me and 1 piece started moving like crazy.

Next time, try to close your eyes or do it in a dark room. This will make a HUGE difference.

 

[lacunae]

I started thinking about what was happening and what things mean.

In my experience, it's best not to do that. You might wanna try to focus on the experience itself, not on the thoughts about it. This process is being refered to as "letting go". It can actually be pretty hard, because the harder you try the less you will achieve...what you want is a state of complete exctasy, without ANY room for thoughts.

This is my biggest struggle, not only with DMT but with any psychoactive (Cannabis was my first difficult lesson in "letting go" ).

Sometimes I fear that I will never be truly able to solely revel in the experiential atmosphere. I foster a ruthless propensity for irrational, repetitive thought cycles...it's like my subconscious mind is a skipping record

 

[Buttsack]

I started thinking about what was happening and what things mean.

In my experience, it's best not to do that. You might wanna try to focus on the experience itself, not on the thoughts about it. This process is being refered to as "letting go". It can actually be pretty hard, because the harder you try the less you will achieve...what you want is a state of complete exctasy, without ANY room for thoughts.

I think I do need to let go a lot more. I find it hard since when I do let go it feels as though something is going to fuck with me and take control. The next time I trip I'm going to try and let go and not think. Lately my trips have been giving me a lot of help in life and how the world works. If I let go I feel as though I'll miss out on this info.

This didn't take me into hyperspace but instead everything around me was moving rapidly. There was lots of long grass around me and 1 piece started moving like crazy.

Next time, try to close your eyes or do it in a dark room. This will make a HUGE difference.

I regret not doing this when everything was happening. I was trying to figure out what was happening in front of me and all other normal thought went out the window.

Would my experience be classed as ego death? Or is ego death more dramatic?

 

[obliguhl]

. I find it hard since when I do let go it feels as though something is going to fuck with me and take control.

Yes, that's basically what's going to happen. This is why trust is of such surpreme importance. If you don't trust the experience, how can you expect a fruitful outcome?

Would my experience be classed as ego death? Or is ego death more dramatic?

It's not that important in my opinion. Some people tend to be very outcome oriented. They might ask themselves "what is necessary" to achieve "typical experience x". But in my experience, this is not how it tends to work. There are some things you can do to improve the likelyhood of a successful experience, but there is always the space for things to get "more dramatic".

My most intense experience involved "me" me being in a colorless room, somehow trying to wrap my "mind" around things "forever". there were no thoughts, just the attempt to form them in 3D through invisible space (if that makes sense). Afterwards, it felt like i had visited the source of all in a timeless ocean. It was truly profound and left me changed.

It is my opinion that it's better to think about how your experience can benefit you.

Afterall, DMT is no contest.

 

[gibran2]

Would my experience be classed as ego death? Or is ego death more dramatic?

Ego death is defined differently by different people. I usually define it as a loss of self identity. Forgetting all of my past, not remembering who I am, not even remembering that I’m a human being. Others define it as a “return to Source” and a melding with everything.

My deepest DMT experience didn’t involve any loss of ego at all. In fact, I’d say I rarely experience ego death when using DMT, regardless of how deep I go. Ego death isn’t really something to be sought or avoided – it just happens when it happens.

(In contrast to DMT, whenever I have at least a moderate breakthrough with salvia, ego death is almost guaranteed.)

 

[doc savant]

To date, everything I've done with dmt still had ME in the background somewhere as an observer. All of my 20x salvia trips took me over into new worlds so completely that not only was I not me anymore, but I'd never been me, except maybe in a dream. It was like I'd always been in salvia world; my mind immediately picked up on this and adapted to it. Had salvia not faded, I'd still be living over there, under a completely different set of rules, forever, with no memory of here....

 

[kristian]

I may have experienced ego death before. I ingested quite a large dose of mushrooms and decided orange juice would be great with it. It was my first major psychedelic experience in which i began to question every aspect of my mind. I forgot who i was and it got to the point where i trapped my self in a room where i truly believed i was dead. I observed every inch of that room as it melted and made different sounds from groaning to moaning and i looked at angels and wonder why i would created such a thing in my mind. i realized that everything i told was composed knowledge of every being i contact with that person and to set a belief to anything would void my true experience of acknowledging what is possible to be.

 

[quantagy]

I've struggled mightily in the past with the whole "trying hard to let go" paradox. What has helped me immensely with this is a regular meditation practice. Simply sitting and returning my focus over and over to the breath, and allowing any and all thoughts to simply manifest and dissapate. You can will away a thought when it occurs. A nice way of thinking about it is like disturbed sediment at the bottom of a lake. The thoughts are the sediment, and only by not interacting with them can they eventually settle, leaving the lake clear of their muddiness. Attempts to push or wave away the sediment only causes it to muddy further.

Seriously, try meditating regularly and employ the technique during lift off.

 

[wolvz]

i agree with quantagy. I recently was able to breakthrough because of this meditation process, and a pitch black room of course. My anxiety was overwhelming me and my blood pressure was rising before i could even hit the spice, i had to lay down and focus everything on deep breathing, it settled me down enough and cleared my mind of any worries. As i took my last hit before blasting through i put this practice to good use and let out a long exhale as my head made its way to the pillow.

 

[Tigeress]

thanks for sharing ,
are the symbols reoccurring what the elves are showing you, SWIM ?
i find it easy for my body to lift off , if i meditate a little before taking off.
maybe even introduce yourself to dmt and explain your intent , and maybe their take you furthur

 

[IonSigh]

Every time I seem to go to a room where these elves show me cool shapes and objects.

I would have classified that as a breakthrough. But then again the closest I ever got to that place was tripping on salvia.

 

[Another Rube]

In my experience, it's best not to do that. You might wanna try to focus on the experience itself, not on the thoughts about it. This process is being refered to as "letting go". It can actually be pretty hard, because the harder you try the less you will achieve...what you want is a state of complete exctasy, without ANY room for thoughts.

Next time, try to close your eyes or do it in a dark room. This will make a HUGE difference.

Wow I think this is awesome advice. My only experience of LSD was completely ruined because I wasn't aware that my own thoughts could annihilate the potential of the trip, if only someone had told me! Actually, I have recently gotten into meditation just to practice emptying my mindspace.

 

[DargVader]

The next few trips after I broke through my first time were total bummers. When you do break through remember to not force that specific trip on your other trips. I spent probably 5 trips trying to reconnect with the being I met, each one was a disappointment until I truly realized that DMT is about new experiences. Forcing my thoughts of my old trip into my new trips just didn't work...

 

[Buttsack]

Thanks heaps for the advice people. I'd say I keep going back to the same room because that's what I expect to happen. I think I will start meditating and see how this turns out. Just gotta learn how to first

 

[Shayku]

It sounds to me like you did break through, but did not experience ego-death. I personally experienced ego-death only once on DMT, while ego-loss is more common, in the form of becoming "part" of the world that unfolds, and flowing along with it. That's when I'm able to let go of course, that's certainly a basic lesson with spice.

 

[Global]

Would my experience be classed as ego death? Or is ego death more dramatic?

Ego death is defined differently by different people. I usually define it as a loss of self identity. Forgetting all of my past, not remembering who I am, not even remembering that I’m a human being. Others define it as a “return to Source” and a melding with everything.

My deepest DMT experience didn’t involve any loss of ego at all. In fact, I’d say I rarely experience ego death when using DMT, regardless of how deep I go. Ego death isn’t really something to be sought or avoided – it just happens when it happens.

(In contrast to DMT, whenever I have at least a moderate breakthrough with salvia, ego death is almost guaranteed.)

I find this to accurately reflect my views on ego death as well. When I have a powerful salvia experience, I have what I consider to be ego death where I can't remember who I am, what I took...pretty much anything. Everything is in the present moment where I am a silent observer (perhaps silently frantic :roll: ). On DMT however, I rarely lose a sense of who I am. At best, I'm merely distracted from the fact that I'm "there" in the first place, but if I become aware of this, I can easily recall what's going on and what life in the real world is like, etc...In my most intense DMT experience which was taking a rocket ride through white light, I was completely aware of who I was, what was going on...and I was reveling in the knowledge of what was taking place.