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Embarrassing McKenna Moment

Migrated topic.

transitory

currently intergrating
The following occurred two weeks ago and was written down asap- approximately one hour after take-off and has subsequently been tidied up a little.

I didn't wish to post this at that time as the experience bears an embarrassing resemblance to that famously reported by the late Terrence McKenna :oops: . I post it now because it did happen and it happened to me :shock:

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100mg vaporised (I take an SNRI and so effects may be diminished)

4 tokes, eager, Lotus position, eyes open.

Suddenly 180 deg vision . . .

To paraphrase a Strassman witness; Bang! – they were on me.

They were just there in an instant without warning like a camera flash going off.

Hyper real, crystal clear, in my face purest crystal white & red, Revolving Cubes in formation each with many faces.

There was breathless, brain-stunning, total shock, absolute astonishment and purest delight;- Real, real, they are real!

Taste of breathing purest icy sugar.

The visual nature of this visitation was a thousand times removed from the flavour of anything that had gone before, been imagined, dreamt, or thought possible. This was Hyper real.

They jumped in and out of my empty astral body and gaping glass jaw. They placed something inside of me.

I was elated, weightless, breathless, astonished and honoured; they had delighted in surprising me.

As if to say “oh yes we are real- Hi!”

They were playful, intelligent and innocent.

They were more real than real itself- there was no doubt that I was not alone.

My chest chakra opened and flowered then they took the top of my head off, my third eye opened and I could feel the crystal clear, fresh, icy wind of limitless space blowing through my mind.

There appeared to be a large blue glass box opened on the top of my head.

They positioned themselves in a position approximating to the plane of the ceiling up and to the right.

I have never felt such joy.

The entire world was transformed into psychedelic candy-land and there was no conflict only joy.

The mind was no longer creating problems- no fear, no doubt. I felt only the deepest imaginable gratitude that these delightful entities had chosen to visit me! I felt that I had not done enough to deserve this visitation and that my whole life previously – all of the stress, happiness, failure, toil, boredom, hope, had in one instance been justified.

It seemed as if my life had always been predestined to culminate in this one moment of genuine magic.

I could not have been more astonished or elated were I to suddenly to have discovered myself to have been in possession of magic powers!

**********************************************​


I'm not sure what was placed inside of me.
The mental & physical effects of that revelation continued for approximately 48 hours!
I was expecting none of this.
I was especially not expecting them! :shock: :shock: :shock:
 
WOw!...that sounds wonderful!... sounds like they picked you...a classic textbook shamanic initiation..from the spirits themselves!..everything is there, ripping off the head, placing certain objects into the body..

When I was studying religious anthropology at school I came across discriptions such as this again and again from many different cultures.
 
Thank you Morphane,

fractal enchantment, -

"... sounds like . . . a classic textbook shamanic initiation" I really will have to study more. I know nothing of religious anthropology and now feel like I'm missing out on a whole other perspective. I have given too little thought to the fact that other cultures have worked with these substances for millenia. It has just struck me how little I know.- I'm gonna go do some serious reading:d
 
If what you experienced is real, then the important thing would be to make it repeatable at will. If you can do that, then you can explore that other world when you want and let the elves themselves teach you how to operate over there. I think it's best to drink immediately from the source. The only thing that shamans of other cultures could do is to help you grow up to the task, to cultivate those qualities in you which make you a shaman. They could help with their acquired wisdom. But I think it's not necessary. Once you have a connection with the Other, everything else should blossom forth from that connection. And that everything will be alive.

(Disclaimer: I cannot connect to the Source at will, therefore I consider these experiences as the grace of God. I'd very much like to be able to do it, but I cannot and I don't know what the rules are regarding this, who is allowed and who is not.)
 
Cellux

Thanks for your input. It's great to be able to speak to people who understand :d

I would dearly love to make this a repeatable experience. They brought with them elation and joy. They were operating upon me, communicating something with me which I did not understand at the time. I am not at all confident that I could make it repeatable at will though. The whole flavour of the experience was one of shock and SURPRISE! They came from nowhere- without warning or invitation. They chose to pop up. Fractal Enchantment hit the nail on the head when he said "... sounds like they picked you..."

. . . let the elves themselves teach you how to operate over there. I think it's best to drink immediately from the source. The only thing that shamans of other cultures could do is to help you grow up to the task . . .


Of course :oops: Where I to better practice what my signature line preaches then I would have seen the truth in this. I do think that I have understood your advice and my intention is now to concentrate on attaining direct communication with 'the source' rather than researching the findings of others.


Thank you so much:d
 
Hehe, let me turn it around now just to balance it... :)

Read as much as you can, collect the knowledge available, it is all truly very interesting and may prove to be also useful.

What I wanted to refer to is the danger of being lost in the form, in the texts, the history accumulated by others. That's their life, this is yours. If I had a chance to connect directly, I'd forget all the books. Actually, I'm constipated, I've read so much already. With all that knowledge weighing me down, it becomes quite difficult to fly.
 
Cellux,


Thanks for your thoughts. This is, I expect, a difficult question for anyone. What place can worldly interpretation have when the experience to be interpretated is in its nature other-worldly? We interpret with knowledge- the knowledge of others and of our own past. What was presented to me during the experience though was so immediate, so without precedent that it was impossible to interpret or respond at the time from that area of the brain (language, memory, logic).

Upon reflection, I think that if they are real then they cannot be influenced by my preconceptions. Only the integration afterwards could be mis-interpreted. Below is a note I wrote to myself approximately 48 hours later.


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This continues 48 hours afterwards!

Feels like a genuine and persisting physical and psychological change.

As I purposefully imagine fearful things happening in the future- such as unemployment or illness,- though they still seem probable, it’s as though at some level they fundamentally no longer have the weight of importance which they previously carried.

I wonder, is this the feeling of shedding a great burden which I have been previously carrying with me?

It’s as though a burden has been lifted from within and without.

A parting of the clouds

A new start has begun. Perhaps the ascent of the spirit?

When negativity and foreboding is created in the mind one now meets it with a smile and it vaporises as would a light mist upon being exposed to the mid-day sun.

It appears as a bottomless, self-producing wellspring. There is the impression that the well cannot contain this energy and that it must bubble forth.

This is not an intellectual understanding. The intellect is applied only in the attempt to provide a verbal description.

It has the character of joy and inspiration. It is ever forthcoming and positive. It is as though a life-force; - almost an entity in itself such is the quality of innocence and it’s light-heartedness is in-suppressible. It is not a heavy emotion. It is like falling in love, butterflies in the stomach, playful not serious. It has time for others. One is tempted to describe it as being filled with the Holy Spirit.

This is not as I would have imagined a spiritual awakening to be. I would have imagined something more profound and serious, perhaps something more reserved and contemplative. This, however, is akin to the joy and unfettered exuberance of a child.

It is the uncontrived and unforeseen nature of these characteristics that convince one that there is no psychosomatic, wishful thinking involved in its creation. I’m not sure yet whether this energy has the temporal quality of mortal life. I.e.; is mortality implied in this? Or instead is this boundless energy able to transcend and escape death? Does it pre-empt physical birth?

Be this is a physical or spiritual phenomenon it is truly a remarkable, welcome and above all unexpected, un-sought-after occurrence.

I can still taste a certain sweetness and freshness in the air. The air itself remains delicious to breath! Almost like sweet mint, the sensation of each breath in the mouth and throat is yummy. This is not the type of ‘normal’ that I am accustomed to.


Peace, Love.
 
Beautiful.

What place can worldly interpretation have when the experience to be interpreted is in its nature other-worldly? We interpret with knowledge - the knowledge of others and of our own past.

Very good point. The Nexus is also partaking in building a vocabulary for what is to come.

However, I'm still not convinced about the merits of making words from the core experience (although I keep doing this myself). What's the purpose? If you are connected, then every moment becomes meaningful. You are always on spot. There is simply no time left for making up words. The expression of it is right there, when it happens, in your movements, in your speech, in your acts, your body image, everything ( going a bit further, one can say that one's whole world becomes an expression of it, that's what the buddhists call "mahamudra" ).

But if you are not connected, then you usually chase "enlightenment" in the reflections of the original thing. If these reflections can be used to lead someone back to the source experience, then their being is justified. If the words let someone open the gateway - by preparing one's mind so that it can open up to reality - then they are ok. But more often than not, words become a hindrance, a clever way of escapism. At least that's how it worked in my life.

Upon reflection, I think that if they are real then they cannot be influenced by my preconceptions.

Hmm, what if they are a projection of your own mind? Does that make them less real? I don't think so.

One usual aspect of the initiation experience is that one thinks his/her entire previous life was a preparation for just this event. If this is really so, then you being "picked" by these beings is just the culmination of a long process. Your preconceptions are part of this process, they may have been "grown" in you for exactly this purpose. You and them are intertwined in the One.
 
Hi buffoman.

I've been prescribed 150mg Venlafaxine (Effexor XL) daily for about 7 years now (anxiety & depression). Before that Fluoxetine (Prozac) but that was far less effective. I have, over the last month, reduced my dose of Venlafaxine gradually to 50mg without drama. Sudden cessation gives withdrawal symptoms which are very unpleasant.


I hope to be free of the drug within two weeks. Two further weeks and I can begin MAOI experimentation which I am very much looking forward to:d .
 
cellux,

The expression of it is right there, when it happens, in your movements, in your speech, in your acts, your body image, everything . . . more often than not, words become a hindrance, a clever way of escapism.
You've felt this sort of thing haven't you :d. This is precisely how the experience expressed its after-effect for two days. It was an holistic expression- not the usual mind chatter, rationalisation and verbiage.


You have given me much cause to think.

Thank you.
 
transitory said:
I do think that I have understood your advice and my intention is now to concentrate on attaining direct communication with 'the source' rather than researching the findings of others.

Unfortunately, that is the best way to never have that deep of a connection again!!
One thing that stands very firm in the effects of DMT is that it is 100% random!!
In fact one of the best way to really screw up your future flights, is to try really hard to make that same thing happen more than once.

transitory said:
I was expecting none of this.
I was especially not expecting them! Shocked Shocked Shocked

And that is why is worked so well!!!
Keep your mind open to just experiencing whatever might happen this time, no matter how heavy, or how weak.
Trying to "contact them", is just like trying to look at them directly...when you try to focus on one of them, it has already disappeared.
Just experience it....whatever it is...this time!
Observe the effects & assume that what you are experiencing is correct for you...right now.


BTW, that's not to say that trying to influence, or guide the experience through meditation & quieting your mind before smoking is not beneficial, but don't get too disappointed when you never have this exact experience ever again. You'll more than likely meet "them" again, but it will probably be under a totally different circumstance & "they" may appear in a completely different form, doing & saying completely different things.

Try instead to get into the randomness of it, "where are we going tonight". It can be just as fulfilling, if not more, because you are not expecting anything in particular.


WS
 
Thank you warrensaged & cellux.


The time which you have both taken to help me is very much appreciated :d .

I have slept on your comments and now feel that I have awoken to a better understanding of my position:



• "They" may or may not appear again at any time, in any form of their choosing.

• I should be appreciative and open to anything that may be presented during an experience.

• Remaining connected to the source experience is good and can manifest positively in my daily life through speech, actions, movement, thought etc.

• Chasing and clinging to the memory of the experience and wishing for it to return is indicative of detachment from the source- you've already lost it.

• Knowledge as memory can be interesting and useful in its right place.



Now all that remains is to see what tomorrow brings 😉 .
 
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