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End stage cancer patient/ family members psychedelic bucket list

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Ice House

Ice House

Rising Star
OG Pioneer
Once upon a time I posted this post about my siste'sr bout with end stage inflamatory breast cancer. Its been a while since I have posted that. My sisters situation is deteriorating fairly rapidly right now, actually it is a miracle she is still alive.

She was once a very heavy user of magic mushrooms and other mind altering substances. She has had such heavy chemo and radiation. She also had a procedure called gamma knife done to most of her 5 brain tumors. Finally she had open brain surgery and had a potentially fatal tumr to be removed. She now has about two months of life left at most.

She hasnt done any psychedelics since here treatments have started. She now KNOWS she is dying and she asked me to help her vaporize DMT. I want to help her but I am afraid.

A week ago I gave her some 2cb and she really loved that. She is a heavy ganja user now. She does take paxil. I am afraid because I would not want to be resposible for an averse reaction that may significantly degrade her brain health.

I do want to help her. She is insistant.
 
That sounds incredibly intense. I'm not sure what to say but I send you a lot of love. It's really wonderful that she has such great support from you.
 
Off the bat, i would mention the GVG and volcano liquid pad combo. As you may know it takes almost all the physical difficulty away from vaporizing DMT.
Deepest sincere regards to you both and all involved.
 
I cannot advise you with authority as it is way out of the realm of my knowledge and experience. But much, much love and support and sympathy. The only thing i can really say to jog your thoughts is - she has experience with other psychedelics, has done some recently and if this is on her bucket list, well, what are brothers for? Give her some credit for the decision, and don't take all the weight on your already burdened shoulders. Sometimes it's hard to remember that those who are in pain and jeopardy still have wills. But you know. You've been there.

Sorry I couldn't be of more concrete help, but if you decide to give her what she is asking for, feel confident that your decision to help is also her decision to be enabled.

cheers,

JBArk
 
I am very sorry to hear of your situation. I hope your sister is at peace with the world in her final days. Unfortuntaely, the fact is that any of the tryptamine psychedelics are not supposed to be used with SSRI's, paxil being an ssri. And I'm guessing that considering the situation she is in, she is probably on heavy doses of paxil, which would make it even more difficult for her to come off paxil, if she wanted. The danger of mixing ssri with psychedelics is serotonin syndrome, a potentially fatal condition that often results from mixing drugs together that increase serotonin activity. Paxil + DMT would be one such example. Those are the basic facts. It is risky, theorhetically. If you are both at a place where you understand the risk, but want to do it anyway, you both must make the choice.

The only good news is that vaporized dmt is short lasting. That means that even if there is a surge of serotonin, it's more likely to resolve itself fast. The danger would be greater with ayahuasca, which would result in elevated serotonin levels for longer. If she does decide to vaporize, she may want to cut her paxil dose in half the day before. And know that no doctor on earth would give you this advice. If you want a doctor's advice, you can take it. Their oath requires them to do no harm, so they don't usually condone anything that isn't medically sound, and taking a psychedelic with an ssri is not medically sound.

I was on an anti depressant once. I found that if I skipped a dose entirely, I would feel very dizzy and nauseated. But half dosing was fine. That's just my personal experience. Again, a doctor almost certainly wouldn't tell you it's ok to half dose your prescribed medication so you can take a psychedelic. But, it's her life, and her list. I wonder what would be on my list if I knew I were going to go. Would I let some increased risk stop me from doing something I really wanted? Probably not. But, the other part of the equation is that you are involved, as I'm assuming you're the one who has to provide the material. It sounds like a tough choice, but I'm sure after knowing all the facts and the risks involved, and the situation, you'll make the right choice.
 
Icehouse, my thoughts go out to you. I went through this with a member of my family just over a year ago. Be thankful that she is lucid enough at this stage; it's hard when lucidity vanishes before you get such a dire prognosis.

The role of the family in these situations is to keep the person they love as comfortable as possible, and to see out their wishes as best they can. I cannot claim any particular certainty that DMT won't have any adverse consequences in this sort of situation; I'd be inclined to doubt it, but I really don't know. My inclination in this situation is that it's her life, let her live what's left of it to the fullest. As long as she knows that there may be risks (possible consequences of vaporizing DMT in this sort of situation are unknown) and she still wants to do it, I would say help her out.

My heart goes out to your family at this difficult time.
 
Deep love to you and your sister during this extremely difficult time Ice House.

No one can make this decision for either of you, obviously.

I applaud her for such an amazing struggle. And for acknowledging and trying to prepare for what is next.

If it were me, I'd want you to do it. But I'd want to protect you. Write my will and a note, maybe note addressed to you saying I was going to try DMT. Maybe even a phone call in advance to create a time/date stamp. Just in case of the worst.

If it were my loved one, I'd want to do it. Depending on how fragile their state, I'd even consider trying offering initial doses via GVG shotgunning (take hit myself and rapidly pass it mouth to mouth before I absorb too much), or GVG. Or a pharma mixture, as gentle on purge factors as possible.

I wish you nothing but peace and love in the days to come, regardless of what they bring. Regardless of circumstances or choices or results, may things go easy.
 
Ice House,
Love and strength for you in hard times. It sounds like your sister has a vibrant spirit in the face of great hardship. Good for both of you.
Considering helping her with DMT I am at a loss to advise - what others have offered seems solid to me.
Dr. Charles Grob of UCLA did a study administering psilocybin to near-death patients; a Sci Am article is below:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=psilocybin-found-to-ease-end-of-lif-2010-09-08
Not exactly your situation but perhaps useful.
Wishing you both love, clarity, and courage.
L
 
This is an incredibly rough time for you, and my heart goes out to you and your sibling. I would inform her of all the risks, and let her know that she may shorten these last to months drastically if she decided to go through with this. I cannot tell you or her to do. That is for both of you to figure out. I would advise that she gets her affairs in order before she does this though. Anything that she needs to say/do make sure it is settled before hand. If anything, I am sure she takes solace in the fact that she has a family member who cares this deeply for her. Whatever you choose to do, I wish for the best.
 
You can get something signed by a notary for like $5. I'd imagine that they are required to keep things private because they're usually legal documents.. I think?
 
I often phantasize about the exact same situation: What would i do if i had only x amount of time left? I would surely smoke DMT and take mushrooms and LSD and Ayahuasca..to prepare myself, to have made the experience. Not wanting her brain to degrade even further is understandable, but she's only got 2 months left. I don't say this to hurt you, just to put things into perspective. Now you can do something for her, perhaps one of the last things.

I feel sorry that this is happening to you. As an outsider, it is pretty easy to type these words, but i can't imagine how they might feel to you. So i wish you the strength to make the right decision, whatever that may be. I don't know you situation, your sister....but i do know that you will do your best in the next weeks. Good luck man, hug your sister and tell her that there are people out there, wishing her the best.
 
Definitely, please do tell her that we wish her lots of goodness. I that that warmth from other people is really helpful for psychedelic adventures.
 
My thoughts are with your sister and her transition I hope the best for her and your family. She might be a candidate for some of the psilocybin tests in LA, Tx and UK. Cedar Sinai is doing research now. I know this is not DMT but a trip might ease her anxiety.

A letter to the head of research with her condition, desire, and experience might open a door. As far as DMT and drug interactions is above my pay grade.
 
I don't feel qualified to make a recommendation in this difficult decision for you from a danger perspective, I just wanted to let you know that I sympathize with you greatly and hope that your sister is doing as well as she can with her current situation. My wife was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of Non-Hodgkins lymphoma many years ago which was a shock to us at her young age. I'm trying to think what I would have done if things went for the worse there and I was in your situation. I honestly can't say. All I know is if I did decide to provide for her I would go with the GVG in a small dose like 5-10mg to see if we could anticipate any obvious adverse reactions before deciding on a typical breakthrough dose size. You and your family take care. 1 <3
 
This is a difficult issue. SSRI's and psychedelic's are an unpredictable mix.

The best thing i think you can do is gather all information on her medication and possible interactions with DMT, provide her with this information and support her in whatever decission she will make.

The fact that she responded well on the 2-c is a strong indication that there will not be unwanted side-effects, also because on average phenethylamines have more side-effects and are more risky with SSRI's than tryptamines.

I wish that in all the darkness life throws at you and your sister, you both will always keep feeling the light shining within your soul.
 
if it was me, I would hope my wife or sister would do it for me...paxil or no.

However, I have no idea what I would do in your shoes.

Much light and peace to all involved.
 
It is hard work to see someone you love have to suffer. I don't think there's any way to ease the pain that affects both the 'sick' one and the 'healthy' one. I feel for you Ice, you'll do the right thing and your sister will also.

First, don't try to withdraw your sister from paxil as there are terrible withdrawal side effects. This forum (paxil progress) has lots of information on the horrors and techniques to withdraw someone from paxil. It's such a nasty withdrawal, don't even try it at this point.

Second, I'd like to challange (with the greatest respect) Apoc's assertion that tryptamines and paxil are a dangerous combination. SWIM takes paxil and vapes spice. As I understand the situation, paxil and caapi are a very dangerous combination. Paxil and rue are even more dangerous. Paxil and DMT is not dangerous. There might be some reduction of the psychedelic effects, but there is little risk of seritonin syndrome from paxil and DMT combined. Harmaloids are an MAOI and the interaction of a MAOI with a SSRI is dangerous. DMT is not an MAOI. For sure it interacts with seritonin receptors but not as an MAOI. It's possible to think paxil and spice is a dangerous combination because there is so much discussion of the very dangerous combination of SSRI's and aya. In the case of aya, it's the caapi that forms the dangerous combination. I am not a doctor and this is not real medical advise. Perhaps others can weigh in and/or my information is bad. EDIT: paxil & spice interaction thread

Why would I feel the need to write the above? It's because SWIM feels genuinely a little sorry for someone who lives a life without experiencing the beauty of the psychedelic experience. Experiencing spice is perhaps the ultimate. Especially in your sister's case, (where her time to experience the earth may be short), I would think it good to honor her wishes in any way possible.

Anyway, I don't mean to stir controversy but if my assertion is correct, it may open up an option that is helpful.

Peace to both of you and other family as well.
 
((((hugs)))) listen hun i was in kinda the same situation with my mom but i was too scaired to mess with her meds and in all honesty i deeply regret it. she's gone now and i dearly wish we could have shaired the beauty of hyperspace just once. so my best advice is go for it when times short the biggest regrets are for the things undone.
 
Love goes out to you and your sister ice house.

As cker mentioned, his advice is not medical advice, and neither is mine. but somebody who isnt him, is taking paxil, and vaping spice with no adverse reaction, that would influence my decision if I were in your position.

Also what cker said about the MAOI in aya being dangerous, and not the DMT, is spot on, and fairly simple to understand why.

No matter what your decision is,im sure it will be the right one, my thoughts go out to you, your sister, and friends and family
 
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