Hello fellow travelers. I'm grateful for the opportunity to connect and investigate the great Mystery together with you. Let me briefly describe what brought me here and what I hope to gain/contribute.
I've had very strong spiritual inclinations for as long as I can remember. I grew up as an only child in a highly-dysfunctional family in a violent inner city, so I spent a lot of time alone. The first initiation/awakening experience arose out of a state of deep depression during my final year in college. I had almost a perfect GPA, was on target for medical school; the experience shattered my world, my history...my entire concept of reality. Totally unexpected. It was like God jumped out from behind a garbage can and hit me in the head with a 2x4... and then totally stole my shoes and wallet before running off! I was left laying on the floor of my dorm room a naked, battered, broken, exhausted......ecstatic, alive, whole, wonderfully mad, reborn mess.
Since then, there have been periods of relative stability, where the spiritual insights were integrated and internalized; followed by periods of upheaval and trauma which catalyzed a deeper immersion into myself for spiritual understanding.
In 2009, I began having kundalini experiences for the first time, which included breaking through a fluid-type, dark red curtain in the 3rd eye and being in a new reality. Also there were various interactions with energies that could be felt and seen in the room and with eyes closed. Long story short, they seemed very much like what some have described while on DMT. I spent about 4 years in relative solitude, just being. These were the most exciting and joyful times in my life so far. I didn't watch tv or read anything...i asked questions to myself and got the answers...and the rest of the time I would just gawk at the night sky, play with my dog...all the ordinary things all around just seemed to be miraculous, leaving me in a constant state of wonder and appreciation.
Then the unemployment and savings ran out! lol
At this time, I'm beginning another deep dive. Well....can I share what sparked this one? I feel a little self-conscious about sharing this, because I've found that so many people just can't relate. Well here goes. My dog, Amigo, was extremely special to me, my soul mate. He transitioned 4 1/2 months ago, and the grief has been like nothing else I've ever experienced in my life. There is the love and knowing on a spiritual level that he simply moved out of his earth suit, but the physical part of me feels the full weight of the loss. This is ok. The grief is there for a reason, so I try to pay attention to where it guides me.
Over the past 4 months, all of my questions and emotions converge into one impulse: to break through the veil of this physical world. The only thing that truly matters to me at this point is facing the reality and totality of my own nature. I have peaked through the veil of mind, maybe dipped my toe into it....but I've found it to be extremely difficult to get beyond that point. No matter how much meditation, and breathing, and intending that I do, I can't get that full immersion that I want.
I was extremely skeptical about looking into substances that would assist me in my quest.... but I was skeptical about nearly everything that now accept as part of reality (such as energetic experiences, chakras, reincarnation, multi-dimensionality, etc). I'm excited because this feels like exactly what I need at this time to make that quantum leap that I've been seeking; and the more I'm researching about DMT, the more convinced I am about it's usefulness. I'm continuing to learn as much as I can in preparation for my first DMT experience.
So, thanks for bringing me into this group. I'm excited to embark on this new phase of growth together with you all.
-Jimmy
I've had very strong spiritual inclinations for as long as I can remember. I grew up as an only child in a highly-dysfunctional family in a violent inner city, so I spent a lot of time alone. The first initiation/awakening experience arose out of a state of deep depression during my final year in college. I had almost a perfect GPA, was on target for medical school; the experience shattered my world, my history...my entire concept of reality. Totally unexpected. It was like God jumped out from behind a garbage can and hit me in the head with a 2x4... and then totally stole my shoes and wallet before running off! I was left laying on the floor of my dorm room a naked, battered, broken, exhausted......ecstatic, alive, whole, wonderfully mad, reborn mess.
Since then, there have been periods of relative stability, where the spiritual insights were integrated and internalized; followed by periods of upheaval and trauma which catalyzed a deeper immersion into myself for spiritual understanding.
In 2009, I began having kundalini experiences for the first time, which included breaking through a fluid-type, dark red curtain in the 3rd eye and being in a new reality. Also there were various interactions with energies that could be felt and seen in the room and with eyes closed. Long story short, they seemed very much like what some have described while on DMT. I spent about 4 years in relative solitude, just being. These were the most exciting and joyful times in my life so far. I didn't watch tv or read anything...i asked questions to myself and got the answers...and the rest of the time I would just gawk at the night sky, play with my dog...all the ordinary things all around just seemed to be miraculous, leaving me in a constant state of wonder and appreciation.
Then the unemployment and savings ran out! lol
At this time, I'm beginning another deep dive. Well....can I share what sparked this one? I feel a little self-conscious about sharing this, because I've found that so many people just can't relate. Well here goes. My dog, Amigo, was extremely special to me, my soul mate. He transitioned 4 1/2 months ago, and the grief has been like nothing else I've ever experienced in my life. There is the love and knowing on a spiritual level that he simply moved out of his earth suit, but the physical part of me feels the full weight of the loss. This is ok. The grief is there for a reason, so I try to pay attention to where it guides me.
Over the past 4 months, all of my questions and emotions converge into one impulse: to break through the veil of this physical world. The only thing that truly matters to me at this point is facing the reality and totality of my own nature. I have peaked through the veil of mind, maybe dipped my toe into it....but I've found it to be extremely difficult to get beyond that point. No matter how much meditation, and breathing, and intending that I do, I can't get that full immersion that I want.
I was extremely skeptical about looking into substances that would assist me in my quest.... but I was skeptical about nearly everything that now accept as part of reality (such as energetic experiences, chakras, reincarnation, multi-dimensionality, etc). I'm excited because this feels like exactly what I need at this time to make that quantum leap that I've been seeking; and the more I'm researching about DMT, the more convinced I am about it's usefulness. I'm continuing to learn as much as I can in preparation for my first DMT experience.
So, thanks for bringing me into this group. I'm excited to embark on this new phase of growth together with you all.
-Jimmy
It's such an exciting subject to embark upon and wish I had more hours in the day to spend reading the material on this nexus.