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Experimenting to find the answer to a question I know the answer to?

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C

collection

Rising Star
Hello all, I'm a 20 year old college student who I would say has a copious amount of experience with most drugs, both good and bad. From pain killers to amphetamines to psychedelics, I've done it all. I think from a small age I've always wanted to try the "magic mushroom," knowing that it would alter your perception and allow you to "trip." Other than that I heavily looked down on all other drugs, including pot. Senior year of high school I decided to try pot.
This changed it all, after getting high and doing my research on the plant, I realized that no, it doesn't kill brain cells, and no its not the end of the world. I began to ask myself, why would such a knowledgable branch as the government lie to kids at such a young age? Such began my long journey to asking questions.
I went to college with a small list of drugs I wanted to try, shrooms, pot, alcohol, and salvia
To this day I've tried so many drugs I've lost count, from the harder pain killers like oxymorphone and heroin, to the lower painkillers like percocets and vicoden, from amphetamines from cocaine to mdma, xanax to klonapin, from psychedelics from shrooms to lsd to dmt... I've even branched out as far as to go trying experimental drugs such as MXE, 4-ho-mipt, etc etc. There was a period of months where I was consuming so much MXE I started going a little nuts. After combining it with LSD, for a period of a week or two I believed I could see into the future (and to this day I honestly believe I can. After research chemicals came the period of time I tried mixing drugs, most of them with LSD.

There was a time where I believed being sober was boring and getting fucked up was fun and the only way to live, but after countless years I've began to realize that psychedelic experiences should be treated with the respect accordingly to the profound experience it gives you.

Out of all my drugs, pot being the one I most actively consume (which is slowly stopping as I am losing an interest in it), LSD would be my most favorite. If I could trip LSD every day, I would, but alas, I can't. Honestly, one time I was on LSD and I looked directly into my dogs eyes, and my dog is a relatively quiet dog, and I thought "bark," but not in language terms, but the sound of "bark," and he barked! I made him sit down with my mind and so on and so forth. LSD is nuts.

To that extent, one day I was fortunate enough to try DMT but I barely broke through. Soon not long after I was given the opportunity to insuffulate 130mg of DMT (extremely painful on the nose) but one of the most profound and life changing experiences of my life. Even on a level from people on this forum I would say I have ventured far out into the astral planes of eternity, I've done 8 hits of family acid and felt as if I was discriminating in the sands of time for hundreds of years, when I came out my bones felt brittle and I felt like and old man. I've insuffulated DMT on beta blockers, about 150 MG, and I went almost too far, when I came back I felt so unsettled and felt I had just touched the very heart of the eternal soul and that was unsettling in itself.

I feel I am going to continue with my usage of psychedelics primarily to see how far I can go. I don't honestly know what it is driving me, but in the here and now, I find experiences beyond myself to be the one true joy I can find in life. Not long from now I plan to try ayuhausca and mescaline. I would say I do all these psychedelics to constantly be imbued the idea that loving is living, and living is loving. Or maybe I'm just bored in sanity 😁

Peace and Love brothers.
 
Souds to me like your seeing the potential of psychedelics for personal growth but also a bit mis guided still.
Many periods in my life I find reality boring and I long to be in another place. Like your long list of substances and cocktails you sound similar in just wanting to get loaded.

Now your leaving that stage and progressing on but perhaps take a moment to re ponder your stated intentions of wanting to see how far you can take it.

That being your goal I can tell you what you will find. Unintelligible, utterly confusing psychedelic jibberish that during and after the experience will still make no sense. That or a nightmarish hell ride that can still hold little to no meaning because its overly abstract. Ive been to both these places and each time was trying to force a desired intent.

If your looking to see how much the psychdedlic experience can enrich your life but not by trying to push the envelope I feel you will be better off.

Read up on the hazards of different drugs and entheos as it sounds like your not shy to mix and combine which is fine as long as its safe. To say that benzos go with everything but LSD isnt good advice to a reader that may not be well informed.

Welcome to the nexus. i wish you good travels and enriching experiences. Hope this community can help guide you to finding your path.
 
I didn't say benzos go with everything but LSD, I simply remarked that benzos calm you down on a spiraling trip and diminish a lot of the redeeming features of the trip.

My hope is that pushing the envelope will enrich my life more than it already has. As with any combination of drugs, I always take precautions and read up on the effects of combining the such. But still perhaps you are right, I may still be misguided, having jumped headfirst into a world of things that both confuse and profound me but not knowing to what end...
 
Slow your roll, soldier. This really isn't the place to try and engage in a lot of dick measuring. I've read your other posts and you seem quite invested in the notion that you are somehow pushing the envelope further than most ever would dare.

Understand that probably half of our members have been tripping since literally before you were born (and some before your grandparents...), so wowing the crowd with tales of excess two years after smoking pot for the first time just isn't the way to go here. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you can't see the future or control your dog's thoughts, no matter how much acid you take.

Be careful with your brain and body. They're the only ones you've got.
 
Woah, I'm not trying to say i'm better than anyone else here and I certainly am not here for epeen. I've read through a lot of the experiences before even creating an account here and I understand how a lot of people here have gone way beyond what I have and I am not trying to "wow" anyone. Its simply nice to see people who engage in the same activities I do and I would like to add my own input. Honestly, reading a lot of the experiences here send me nostalgic thoughts into my own trips and I thought it would do justice if I created an account here...

I am sorry if you got any notions that I was trying to say that I was better than any of you or have gone more far out. I created this topic simply wondering why other people do it, because I myself am not sure as to why I do it, and that is probably not that good of a reason at all...

And I know that I can't see the future or control my dogs thoughts, heh, just whims from a not-so-sure-if-he's-sane person

I was hoping being in this community would help me find a better reason of why to do psychedelics if not for self destructive purposes or for just plain stupid notions of "pushing the envelope"
 
Fair enough. Welcome to the nexus. It's the best place I've found for commiserating with like minded adventure seekers and navigating this weirdo path.
 
From the Ayuhausca to other drug experiences on this forum to many of the other experiences I've read, I would say I am just a newbie in this world of psychedelics, and my reasons for doing them are not quite as good as other people's. Thank you for the critism Art, because you're right, this isn't a dick measuring contest, but to me I would say that is the petty reason I do it... Just to be able to say I've gone this far or done that thing, perhaps I'm just a petty person.

Why, if you are so inclined to tell me, do you do psychedelics? I'd really like to know because I've been thinking for the last couple of months, and I honestly don't have a very good reason as to why I do mine, the closest thing to it being self destruction to the point where hopefully I find a reason to stop on this path of self destruction...

Constantly I feel trapped by the system we have in this world, grow up, go to school, go to college, go to grad school, get a 9 to 5 job, drink on the weekends to forget about your 9 to 5 job on your 9 to 5 schedule

Whats the point of it all? Sometimes I feel like a hamster spinning on a wheel to escape from that wheel. And that wheel is the system of debt we have in the united states. Many people would say I am a generous and kind person, but this still saddens me because to be nice in the land of money is to be ignorant to the wasteland that is the rest of the world. I come from a third world country and it saddens me to think how insignificant my actions are as to help the actual world. But hey, I still try, helping one person at a time is still progress, but it feels like slow, unmoving, progress to me. Especially if I am helping someone with clothes on their backs and food in their stomachs as well as their refrigerators. I've been privileged to read and listen to educated and enlightened people, the tibetan book of the dead and dying, Ram Dass's Here and Now, listened to many Alan Watts lectures, hell i've even read the holy books of the Quran and the Bible, and countless other things as to develop some sort of critical thought, but nothing answers the question of why there is so much suffering in this world, and why the system is setup so its so hard to do anything about it...
 
collection said:
Whats the point of it all? Sometimes I feel like a hamster spinning on a wheel to escape from that wheel. And that wheel is the system of debt we have in the united states. Many people would say I am a generous and kind person, but this still saddens me because to be nice in the land of money is to be ignorant to the wasteland that is the rest of the world. I come from a third world country and it saddens me to think how insignificant my actions are as to help the actual world. But hey, I still try, helping one person at a time is still progress, but it feels like slow, unmoving, progress to me. Especially if I am helping someone with clothes on their backs and food in their stomachs as well as their refrigerators. I've been privileged to read and listen to educated and enlightened people, the tibetan book of the dead and dying, Ram Dass's Here and Now, listened to many Alan Watts lectures, hell i've even read the holy books of the Quran and the Bible, and countless other things as to develop some sort of critical thought, but nothing answers the question of why there is so much suffering in this world, and why the system is setup so its so hard to do anything about it...
Click to expand...

I totally get what your"e saying, and helping one person at a time does make progress, sometimes more than we can imagine.
I guess i now do psychedelics because i enjoy the ideas of other possibilities to what is physically before my eyes (if, in actual fact, there is really anything physical before my eyes in the first place). But i don"t take it to the outer limits, i"m mr moderation.
 
collection said:
Constantly I feel trapped by the system we have in this world, grow up, go to school, go to college, go to grad school, get a 9 to 5 job, drink on the weekends to forget about your 9 to 5 job on your 9 to 5 schedule

Whats the point of it all? Sometimes I feel like a hamster spinning on a wheel to escape from that wheel.
Click to expand...

I can relate to this. This system is destructive and pushing peole into being destructive. I am also trying to figure out, how I can escape this madness and be able to do something really useful and change things for the better. It is really not easy and it will most likely not change the system. But it definitly counts. For the things you influenced and for your own life.

Personally I take psychedelics to gain new insights, to become aware of other possibilities to interpret the world around me and inside me, to learn about how my brain, mind and consciousness work, to question my own views and opinions, to try to grow spiritual... These are topics I try to work on with the use of these substances.

You seem to be an honest and caring soul. Try not to destroy yourself. You will need your sanity to support yourself with everyday needs in order to pursue your goals and be a possitive influence for yourself and those around you.

Peace and Love to you!
 
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