I can relate to this. This system is destructive and pushing peole into being destructive. I am also trying to figure out, how I can escape this madness and be able to do something really useful and change things for the better. It is really not easy and it will most likely not change the system. But it definitly counts. For the things you influenced and for your own life.

Personally I take psychedelics to gain new insights, to become aware of other possibilities to interpret the world around me and inside me, to learn about how my brain, mind and consciousness work, to question my own views and opinions, to try to grow spiritual... These are topics I try to work on with the use of these substances.

You seem to be an honest and caring soul. Try not to destroy yourself. You will need your sanity to support yourself with everyday needs in order to pursue your goals and be a possitive influence for yourself and those around you.

Peace and Love to you!