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Exploring PTSD and Potential ADHD

Voidmatrix

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I'd like to explore PTSD and potential ADHD. Part of me being more compassionate with myself (instead of thinking I'm simply undisciplined, lazy, etc).

I have a diagnosis of PTSD (that may be CPTSD). I was in denial about it for years, thinking that I hadn't been through anything "that bad." That's not very compassionate. I'm flipping the script on that presently. I'm concerned with this as my social experiences seem to be diminishing and/or not going well. One thing in particular is this experience of spectating myself getting hot and bothered in conversation over things that are relatively harmless. I manage this well, but the internal experience and thoughts therein are not what I'd like them to be. I had assumed that this was just because I'm deeply philosophic and passionate about it and so am very particular, but it seems to be more than that, or being a highly sensitive person. There are other things as well, but I'm focusing on this at the moment.

I do not have a diagnosis of ADHD. I would still like to explore it as I feel I may have it. I do plan on seeing a therapist once I have insurance and the funds to do so again. However, there are certain things that seem to be getting worse with age, such as centered focus (without any other external stimuli), easily bored, drained, generally scatter-brained, and "unproductive" and "inconsistent." It got worse when I dropped certain habits like journaling and reading everyday. I still meditate daily. Granted, I've been overwhelmed for a while, don't sleep the best, and do experience depression as well.

This is me just taking some kind of step forward. While this is all on my mind right now, I'm actually doing pretty well today.

One love
 
I think both PTSD and ADHD are commonly underdiagnosed conditions.. in the case of PTSD I think people pass it off as being for 'more serious' traumas - forgetting that their experiences of suffering and pleasure are relative to their own unique set of circumstances and the contrasting feelings they elicit. Don't feel as if you need to have been abused or bared witness to some extreme heinous act towards you or those around you - or that you need to be jumping across the walls with your fingers in a million pies. What you feel matters and is always relevant.. !

This is a question I've asked myself as well, however like yourself, pass it off due to feeling like my trauma and lack of concentration don't 'qualify' in contrast to the experiences of those around me. Certainly in the case of ADHD I am not the really energetic/frantic type.. yet I do have trouble concentrating on tasks, especially if not something I am really interested in. As far as PTSD .. again I'd say people would probably gauge my trauma as quite mild compared to others.. but I'm realising this is an incompassionate attitude towards myself.

I admire that you use the forum as a vehicle to express things that you might have trouble expressing in the flesh. We're a community of pretty likeminded people.. you're always welcome to bounce your thoughts and vulnerabilities here.. I'm sure most of us will resonate with what you say and maybe help in whatever way we can. :)
 
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I think both PTSD and ADHD are commonly underdiagnosed conditions.. in the case of PTSD I think people pass it off as being for 'more serious' traumas - forgetting that their experiences of suffering and pleasure are relative to their own unique set of circumstances and the contrasting feelings they elicit. Don't feel as if you need to have been abused or bared witness to some extreme heinous act towards you or those around you - or that you need to be jumping across the walls with your fingers in a million pies. What you feel matters and is always relevant.. !

This is a question I've asked myself as well, however like yourself, pass it off due to feeling like my trauma and lack of concentration don't 'qualify' in contrast to the experiences of those around me. Certainly in the case of ADHD I am not the really energetic/frantic type.. yet I do have trouble concentrating on tasks, especially if not something I am really interested in. As far as PTSD .. again I'd say people would probably gauge my trauma as quite mild compared to others.. but I'm realising this is an incompassionate attitude towards myself.

I admire that you use the forum as a vehicle to express things that you might have trouble expressing in the flesh. We're a community of pretty likeminded people.. you're always welcome to bounce your thoughts and vulnerabilities here.. I'm sure most of us will resonate with what you say and maybe help in whatever way we can. :)

In france ADHD is TDA/H; Trouble Defficit Attention and H for hyperacitivity, it could be with or without hyperactivity, that's why there is the /
Im not well versed into all of it though i think... i think that you might be able to consider having ADHD without the "energetic:frantic" type of personnality.
 
i think that you might be able to consider having ADHD without the "energetic:frantic" type of personnality.
In the past this was also known as ADD (thus without the Hyperactivity), though since DSM-III they reverted back to ADHD only since they observed no significant differences between the two.

In DSM-IV they made three different categories:
  • Predominantly hyperactive
  • Predominately attention-deficit
  • Prominently hyperactive and attention-deficit

The modern definition of ADHD in DSM-V includes defining inattentive, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, all of which are important to its definition.


Kind regards,

The Traveler
 
Thank you @acacian .

I hope you don't mind me exploring this is a critical way. I think that ADHD is both over and under diagnosed (many people diagnosed just need to learn to focus because they never did, and many are missed for a variety of reasons such as brute force intelligence). In the case of PTSD, I'm not sure but do align with elements of your position. What's difficult for us is predicated on what we're accustomed to. At the same time, it seems many just refuse to manage and be with emotion, which I don't blame anyone for (even if it annoys me) because they're abiding by a biological imperative: path of least resistance. Being with all of our emotions is difficult.

It reminds me of something my old therapist said, "everyone gets depressed, but not everyone has depression."

All that said, trauma is really about the response to an experience and not the experience itself, though, some experiences are likely to be more traumatic than others for most people. Considering that, people with sensory processing sensitivity are more prone to certain mental health struggles including PTSD, depression, and ADHD (where there is an overlap).

So, when I consider that some people may just need to check themselves, it's in instances in which someone is willingly being a hypocrite or even cases of sore losers: people just need perspective and regulation, I'm not sure it's necessarily related to trauma.

In our case, with regard to PTSD, I think that having it start in childhood especially if it's CPTSD, makes extremely hard to guage the severity; whatever environment we're in, traumatizing or not, becomes normalized to a degree in our minds.

Now none of this is to say that we should delimit trauma, regardless of the magnitude. Your trauma snd feelings about it are valid, my friend.

Some of this position comes from societal observations. We're in a time where it's "cool" to have trauma, so that makes me question the legitimacy of things.

And thank you deeply for that last part. I hope that it helps others, but it tends to get in my head that exploring things in myself in this way may appear self centered or as though I'm whining and airing my dirty laundry too much. Thank you for your support, and I hope you know you have mine.

One love
 
As you may be aware, these issues are something quite personal to me as well - @acacian's description of their experience sounds so uncannily familiar that I could have written it myself. @Voidmatrix's self-sceptism on account of the current trend towards popularisatiion of concepts around neurodiversity is something that I share too, to the extent of thinking "maybe I'm just an annoying w**ker and it's all my fault" - which I'm willing to admit is at least partly true :ROFLMAO:

Nonetheless, please continue to whine and air your dirty laundry since it gives me the opportunity to join in, whereas I'd be unlikely to start my own thread in a similar vein for the aforementioned reason. Self-advocacy and legitimisation of my own voice has been something I've long struggled with so I'm quite keen to add a few more thoughts to this discussion as time progresses/permits.
 
@The Traveler thank you for adding that kind of specific definition of information to the thread.

@Transform Well let's make it a party. While I open up threads on a personal note, I'm glad it's noticed that it's really for everyone to join in.

In childhood, I'd get bored often, and then get in trouble for being bored, since, apparently "boredom breeds trouble," according to my dad. But things have always been hard to focus on. I think it's why I don't know how to study. I'm either bored, highly stimulated, or hyperfocused. If I do have ADHD, it does make me feel a bit better about my meditation journey, which has been a solo pursuit, and damn hard for 20 years 🤣

My job bores me, so towards the end of the work day, when I'm tired and my will power if low, I get antsy, ready to go and do something more interesting, though, when presented with many options, I'm paralyzed by them.

One love
 
Would like to take a moment to thank everyone again. The open door and grace that everyone provides definitely makes it easier to authentically open up.

Maybe, at this time in my life, instead of simply assuming things like I'm weak, or just need to get better, or I need thicker skin, (and other ways of taking responsibility for things I can't be responsible for), I need to just accept and admit, it has been hard. Maybe it's been harder than I want to admit.

One love
 
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