First of all. Thank you. You're too kind.

Second,  you should've seen my face when I read this. You kinda called me out.

I think you're making a lot of insightful points here. Am I selling myself short, probably. Do I notice it? Unfortunately no. Do others? It seems so, which confuses me because I don't notice me selling myself short. I tend to think people may be blowing smoke or i tricked them, and it's a hard trap to get out of.

I think finding the right vision to align myself with to make the suffering worth it (beautifully stated by the way) is apt. Finding direction and feeling firm and good in it is hard.

Cognitive effects make me feel like I won't be at the standard I'd like to to do what I think I want to do.

However, i like these questions and will add them to my inner work.

One love