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Another consideration, and mainly just that, as I don't have the means to receive diagnoses, I have to just do the best I can and not read too much into the likelihood of any observation or assessment, (and I hate to do this because I feel like it just makes me look spastic and all over the place) is what if there's a low need for support autism going on here. OR what even there are "autistic traits" that I hold without being autistic. It's a weird thing, because if I am, I am high functioning and good at masking, which makes it harder to catch. However, it aligns a bit as many of the comorbidities that I do deal with per a formal diagnosis (depression, PTSD, anxiety) align with and can be derived from the experience of being autism.

While I can function well socially, it's not easy, which is why I tend to spend most of my time alone, and in someways, dealing with people seems to be or feels like it is getting more difficult. And there are cues that I "miss" often, particularly around humor. It nags at me when someone says something in jest, and I realize it's in jest, but I can't help but to respond in a more serious way, even though I know that it was in jest.

There's a culture of shit talking amongst many groups, which brings people together and connects them. I hate it. This is something I am horrible at, because I always end up being the one that takes it too far, and I don't mean to. It's confusing. Individuals will razz each other on something, something that usually has a basis in reality, but there are apparently these lines that people know how to traverse and dance on with each that allow them to derive a sense of comradery from such an interaction, where I tend to just upset people. It's why my humor tends to be very blatant in terms of opposites, because otherwise we are flirting with the truth in someway and often making fun of someone for something that is real to them is a slippery slope towards insult.

I fall down this slope often.

And others slip down it with me, as I don't feel I handle being teased well in many instances. To me, there's a kernel of truth in many of the ways in which we are teased and it makes it less okay to me.

Middle school makes so much more sense in this context...

As does my social record up to this point...

I recently took the Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale Revised test and was surprised to have scored a 132, which is stated as, "overwhelming evidence pointing towards autism," which doesn't mean that I have autism. There have been plenty of court cases where there was overwhelming evidence for one side and that side not be in the right. If I had the means at the moment, I'd get assessed further. But I don't, so I have to do the dance with the possibilities.

ADHD can be a comorbidity with autism, and as I have been exploring potential ADHD with people I know, many of them aren't surprised... some of them are actually surprised that I'm just now coming to this potential conclusion myself... for many it's obvious.

I was going to say more, but I'm blanking out now. I'll try to add later. I'm overwhelmed.

One love

<blockquote data-quote="Voidmatrix" data-source="post: 3951289" data-attributes="member: 5">Another consideration, and mainly just that, as I don&#039;t have the means to receive diagnoses, I have to just do the best I can and not read too much into the likelihood of any observation or assessment, (and I hate to do this because I feel like it just makes me look spastic and all over the place) is what if there&#039;s a low need for support autism going on here. OR what even there are &quot;autistic traits&quot; that I hold without being autistic. It&#039;s a weird thing, because if I am, I am high functioning and good at masking, which makes it harder to catch. However, it aligns a bit as many of the comorbidities that I do deal with per a formal diagnosis (depression, PTSD, anxiety) align with and can be derived from the experience of being autism. While I can function well socially, it&#039;s not easy, which is why I tend to spend most of my time alone, and in someways, dealing with people seems to be or feels like it is getting more difficult. And there are cues that I &quot;miss&quot; often, particularly around humor. It nags at me when someone says something in jest, and I realize it&#039;s in jest, but I can&#039;t help but to respond in a more serious way, even though I know that it was in jest. There&#039;s a culture of shit talking amongst many groups, which brings people together and connects them. I hate it. This is something I am horrible at, because I always end up being the one that takes it too far, and I don&#039;t mean to. It&#039;s confusing. Individuals will razz each other on something, something that usually has a basis in reality, but there are apparently these lines that people know how to traverse and dance on with each that allow them to derive a sense of comradery from such an interaction, where I tend to just upset people. It&#039;s why my humor tends to be very blatant in terms of opposites, because otherwise we are flirting with the truth in someway and often making fun of someone for something that is real to them is a slippery slope towards insult.I fall down this slope often.And others slip down it with me, as I don&#039;t feel I handle being teased well in many instances. To me, there&#039;s a kernel of truth in many of the ways in which we are teased and it makes it less okay to me.Middle school makes so much more sense in this context...As does my social record up to this point...I recently took the Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale Revised test and was surprised to have scored a 132, which is stated as, &quot;overwhelming evidence pointing towards autism,&quot; which doesn&#039;t mean that I have autism. There have been plenty of court cases where there was overwhelming evidence for one side and that side not be in the right. If I had the means at the moment, I&#039;d get assessed further. But I don&#039;t, so I have to do the dance with the possibilities. ADHD can be a comorbidity with autism, and as I have been exploring potential ADHD with people I know, many of them aren&#039;t surprised... some of them are actually surprised that I&#039;m just now coming to this potential conclusion myself... for many it&#039;s obvious.I was going to say more, but I&#039;m blanking out now. I&#039;ll try to add later. I&#039;m overwhelmed.One love</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Voidmatrix, post: 3951289, member: 5"] Another consideration, and mainly just that, as I don't have the means to receive diagnoses, I have to just do the best I can and not read too much into the [I]likelihood[/I] of any observation or assessment, (and I hate to do this because I feel like it just makes me look spastic and all over the place) is what if there's a low need for support autism going on here. OR what even there are "autistic traits" that I hold without being autistic. It's a weird thing, because if I am, I am high functioning and good at masking, which makes it harder to catch. However, it aligns a bit as many of the comorbidities that I do deal with per a formal diagnosis (depression, PTSD, anxiety) align with and can be derived from the experience of being autism. While I can function well socially, it's not easy, which is why I tend to spend most of my time alone, and in someways, dealing with people seems to be or feels like it is getting more difficult. And there are cues that I "miss" often, particularly around humor. It nags at me when someone says something in jest, and I realize it's in jest, but I can't help but to respond in a more serious way, even though I know that it was in jest. There's a culture of shit talking amongst many groups, which brings people together and connects them. I hate it. This is something I am horrible at, because I always end up being the one that takes it too far, and I don't mean to. It's confusing. Individuals will razz each other on something, something that usually has a basis in reality, but there are apparently these lines that people know how to traverse and dance on with each that allow them to derive a sense of comradery from such an interaction, where I tend to just upset people. It's why my humor tends to be very blatant in terms of opposites, because otherwise we are flirting with the truth in someway and often making fun of someone for something that is real to them is a slippery slope towards insult. I fall down this slope often. And others slip down it with me, as I don't feel I handle being teased well in many instances. To me, there's a kernel of truth in many of the ways in which we are teased and it makes it less okay to me. Middle school makes so much more sense in this context... As does my social record up to this point... I recently took the Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale Revised test and was surprised to have scored a 132, which is stated as, "overwhelming evidence pointing towards autism," which doesn't mean that I have autism. There have been plenty of court cases where there was overwhelming evidence for one side and that side not be in the right. If I had the means at the moment, I'd get assessed further. But I don't, so I have to do the dance with the possibilities. ADHD can be a comorbidity with autism, and as I have been exploring potential ADHD with people I know, many of them aren't surprised... some of them are actually surprised that I'm just now coming to this potential conclusion myself... for many it's obvious. I was going to say more, but I'm blanking out now. I'll try to add later. I'm overwhelmed. One love [/QUOTE]