Goodness gracious, I'm all over the place. I stood up and a bunch more stuff to share decided to surface. So I'm sitting back down.

Anyway, I was also considering some of my repetitive behaviors and habits, both internal and external. I have a hard time being interested in any new media often times, mainly finding something that I've liked in the past to interact with rather than something new, because it feels like such a waste if I didn't enjoy it (makes me think of my experience seeing The Village when I was in high school; was very disappointed by that movie and it was very obvious). I instead have "entertainment patterns." I quit my full-time job, and so am really leaning on lists to help me keep moving. If I'm honest, in this moment, I don't know what to do with myself and part of me doesn't want to do anything. I'd like to take a dab, turn on TNG (because I've seen it a thousand times), grab a book or a game, stay up for a bit and then just go back to sleep. I don't know what to do with myself. And while I have a list at the moment, I don't want to do anything on it.

Another note, is that it seems autism runs in families. My half brother on my father's side has autism, and we've heard plenty about my dad, so naturally there's curiosity on his behalf as well.

Last thing I'd like to share is about the obsessive nature of the inside of my mind, which I've talked about before. These ruminations of various kinds that just won't go away, like nagging nats, or worse, horse flies, because they bite and they're painful.

Round and round we go.

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