eh, it is too late to even begin to address this!

HOWEVER, you are not alone! :lol:

Many have been there before you.

This was all a shock to your system so it might look negative to you, but you do not really understand it or comprehend it. But really, just know the only thing that is and ever was is never alone and enjoys itself and always has a good time being itself. It is always alone = all one (see bronners soap!) so that is a prior reality to IT. And it is not really alone anyway because it is always in the process of being different things and creating itself in lots of different ways to experience itself.

a girl told me recently she didn't think these ultimate non-dual states were what they were cracked up to, she missed her friends and family and wanted to be back in the world. So affirm the world and realise that love is real. Where there is love there is not aloneness!