Honestly, we have all been in your shoes.  By that I mean having said "reality" suddenly ripped away from your isolated human grasp...  is a very frightening, soul shaking experience!  But try to understand that what is "negative" about such an interphase is this, our ego is shattered into so much cosmic dust.  Gulp!!! :shock:

Our frail constructs of reality are most easily disturbed by the force and effulgence of Sacred Medicines (of all kinds).  DMT is perhaps the most potent of these catalysts of conceptual dissolution?  Who knows...  many paths lead to this same unified vacuum and wholly engulfing state of mind.   

I have come to "think" that we are always one...  and that we will surely become what we have always been (and will always be).  Cycles of understanding and reasonable conclusions are often no more than illusory constructs of our conceptual reflections, those born of our grasp of the endless moment of now, the eternal point of happening within the fulcrum of this co-dreamed time-space-continuum.  we must always question our finite perceptions and ardently seek the meaning within the flowing current of events.  

To be seemingly blunt and simultaneously, compassionate to the transformation you are undergoing, I would say you confuse your external self-orientation with your own internal core of being.  And just who wouldn't, given the gravity of our mental paradigm?  We walk within a room full of metaphorical mirrors. 

Is not each step on this enigmatic journey an eternity in the making?  Reality is within you/I/we/us, our very blueprint and Divine fulcrum.  This plane of being is not outside of ourselves (yourself-myself) or some projection of transient mind stuff.  The Void is immensely impersonal and all...  but do take solace in our collective community.  I emphatically suggest that the Omnisciently undivided, self-conscious-awareness-being within the many is a sympathetic chord we all share.     

OK...  from everything I have experienced directly, contemplated upon fervently and repeatedly forced myself to consider...  we are never separate aspects of the whole.  We are always existent within the Unified field.  We are no different then the Godly cause which initiated our dream of sentience.  Existence is indivisible and wholly interconnected to one law...  this law is most Sacred and to touch it's insubstantial quintessence, is to be wholly immersed within it's vibrationless void.  8)

I have found that there is an immeasurably great joy found in the remembrance of this holiest of truths.  For is it not most lovely and euphoric, the merging inside of the infinite?  I am not teasing you, my friend, I am very serious and do encourage you to move freely within this Unified field of Being.   

I do visit here myself...  for the sake of reciprocity and communion with my other twin selves and materially encoded, soul reflections.  So, I can really speak for no others.  I want to resonate through communication, with like-spirited souls. 

I'll be brutally direct with you, amazingino, as I respect your honesty and love your candor.  I suspect that you are earnest in your proclamations, for much of what you are finding so difficult is likely one day become the initiation of much extreme joyful bliss.  I has for me.  Time alone will count the measure of this assumption? 

Well, I can only speak from my own vantage point, which is blooming to become more and more inspiring.  Your very being witnesses the Supreme vortex of oneness, deep within your dreamscape of awakening.  You will either get used to the emptiness of the eternal force... or you will run away as fast as your feet will carry you.  What do you want?  You manifest your own place in this living moment....  this stillness inside of the thundering force of creation. 

IMO, it's always best to set aside our fear and anxiety and embrace the unbroken current,the undivided reality behind the appearances we perceive.  We are inarguably, all one process of consciousness-awareness-being.  I would go even further and state that we are but one singular being, watching from behind the limitless forms and variations of The Omniself, experiencing myriad realities as we individually dream (and I do mean weaving dreamscapes within our individualized cognition, as in falling into the romance and delirium of our ever-changing illusions of what is happening). 

I have come to feel that we are each and all of us Brahman, unbroken and forevermore undivided.  But awakening is not easy or paved with luxuries.  Seize this Sacred gift, dear fellow traveler, and attune willingly to the singular vortex of the infinite Godhead (your own source of being). :thumb_up:   

Have a bright new perspective of your role in this voyage of awakening.  Open your heart as wide as the sky and listen to your own inner voice.  Even when all is dissolved within the Unity, your are the witness to all of this phenomenal stuff.  And I agree with many of the fine comments left for your contemplation.  Love is the harbinger of the Light, which will flood you with the pure bliss of spiritual boundlessness.