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Finally had what I would call a bad trip

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topherfoster

Rising Star
So, I've had several trips that made me feel uncomfortable. But I was never scared. Uncomfortable trips are usually laughed off. Melty eyes. Flashing lights. Everything moving fast or pulsing in my face... I can handle.

But this trip...

Before this trip, I downed roughly 540mg of DXM (through a bottle of Robitussin, only active ingredient is dxm).

I took my vinegar bottle machine. Drew 1 big hit. Held it forever.
Released it. Big breath.
Took my 2nd hit.

Next thing I know, I'm tumbling through images of fear. Nothing but raw fear. Red and yellow flashing lights. My girlfriend was there. My neighbors were there. Everyone was trying to hold me down. All I could think was "I did it this time..."

Picture yourself, red and yellow colors flashing all around you. You can't focus on anything. People are trying to hold you and calm you as you're flopping around (you think). You see their faces and you're thinking "Oh God, now they know I do drugs... now they know I'm a bad person".
I remembered that I'm probably naked. I tried to imagine how I look to them.

Side note:
I once took a lot of xanax... This trip, made me feel like I was having a bad, real life xanax trip. Flopping around like I did on xanax that one time... I thought it was just like that.

I seriously believed that I had pushed myself to insanity, and my neighbors and girlfriend had to come to my rescue. When I saw my girlfriend there, it broke my heart. I thought crap... I must have texted her to come help me. She was saying stuff like "It's okay, it's okay". And I thought she'd never stay with me again after seeing this. And then my poor little neighbor's children getting exposed to me flopping around about.

I mean, every detail was perfect. I live in an apartment, my neighbors are a very nice Indian family. And there they were in my trip. I felt bad for them having to see me out of control.

I really have NO clue if I was yelling in my trip. Do we yell during REAL break throughs?
Because they might think I'm weird now. I should have recorded it...

When I came out of it, I don't think I was yelling. I was trying to get up, reach for my phone. Reach for something to tell me I'm coming out of a trip. For a good minute or two after coming out I was trying to convince myself that no one was in the room, and that no ambulance, girlfriend, or neighbors were here.

Insane.
Will that keep me off the spice? Probably not.

But it's not the euphoric DMT+DXM experience I read about :p

But... If you want to make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs. I guess!
 
Haha no. But the trip made me feel that way.

I believed tons of time had passed and people were now trying to help me.
 
I mean... I think DMT might be running out of things to scare me with. Getting caught or being out of control (like with salvia) would be my biggest fears.
 
So no one was there? That scenario would be hideous yeah! Imagine being raided while in the peak of a breakthrough...shudder to think.
Maybe your doubt about mixing dxm with dmt surfaced, or couldve just been a bad mix.
 
Running out of things to scare you with? I would erase that thought right away. That's the last thing anyone should ever say. You ain't seen nothing yet.

Maybe its time to take a short break and think about your experiences a little. Integration is important.
 
anrchy said:
Running out of things to scare you with? I would erase that thought right away. That's the last thing anyone should ever say. You ain't seen nothing yet.

Maybe its time to take a short break and think about your experiences a little. Integration is important.
Click to expand...

I mean really, only real life experiences are going to scare me. Or something that just FORCES fear in me (probably with the help of DXM).

I've had evil aliens cut me open and what not. None of that scares me in the least.

But man, when my trips start becoming real life situations, that's where it gets scary because my mind can't tell if something happened and I really am in the situation.

No matter how far I am under, even when my images are there with open or closed eye... I never get scared. When I'm there I just say "okay... hmm, these aliens are ripping my heart out... hmm.". Sometimes I laugh when the trip is over.

But this trip would be like, if you let Rob Zombie modify Willy Wonka's ferry tunnel, and spiked all the candy with LSD. Nothing but THE WORST situation I could possibly think of.

It's funny, the other day my friend asks "well WHAT kind of trip would scare you?!"
And my reply "getting caught and going to jail, but I don't think I'll get a trip like that."

Anyway, yeah I might take a break. But it self regulates with me. There's times where I'll do it, and for a couple weeks after the thought of journeying again makes my stomach hurt.

I can't fathom anything worse. I know it can always surprise you, but that's REALLY my only fear.
 
Not sure how far. But it wasn't just closed or open eyed visuals.

I was completely out.

Usually when I break through, or what I call a break through, is when I actually wake up from the trip. Not just open my eyes, but completely come out of state I had no control over my body in. If I wanted to sit up or talk, I couldn't. There is no tether between reality and trip.

I can't possible go further can I?. Short of having a device pump it it into me lol. Even if someone lit the machine for me, they couldn't tell me to suck it in... 2 huge tokes and I was out. I say unconscious. But I don't think that's the right word.
 
Can't go farther? Hehe... The depths are endless, and I don't recommend anyone go searching how far it goes. I take my dose in a single hit. Yes its mostly true about the "I don't have a body, so I broke through" thing and I'm not challenging if you have or not. But a big part of it is the mental depth.

Thing is you can breakthrough a breakthrough. You can come back thinking you broke DMT, the possibilities are endless and you have only seen the tip of the iceberg IMO
 
anrchy said:
Can't go farther? Hehe... The depths are endless, and I don't recommend anyone go searching how far it goes. I take my dose in a single hit. Yes its mostly true about the "I don't have a body, so I broke through" thing and I'm not challenging if you have or not. But a big part of it is the mental depth.

Thing is you can breakthrough a breakthrough. You can come back thinking you broke DMT, the possibilities are endless and you have only seen the tip of the iceberg IMO
Click to expand...

I don't care to. Only thing I might like to do is extend the trips I have...

But how would you do it (go deeper)? Have someone blow it into your lungs? Or gas mask?
I think McKenna was way off, when he said not one thing in your trips is from this world. Because I've seen people, clothes, a car, places I've been, etc.

I personally got into this thinking of the mystery lands I would visit. While I have seen some mystery lands, I have without a doubt seen a lot of real world stuff in my trips.

I guess we're all different. I still haven't met the elves either :p
Other people have. Just not me lol.
 
anrchy said:
Running out of things to scare you with? I would erase that thought right away. That's the last thing anyone should ever say. You ain't seen nothing yet.

Maybe its time to take a short break and think about your experiences a little. Integration is important.
Click to expand...
I'm with anrchy. If it wants to, DMT will always find a way...

Back in the days when I was less discriminate about the compounds I was willing to ingest, I never had what I would consider an "enjoyable" experience when combining DMT with dissociatives. I tried several times but it never went well for me. Some people have found the two to synergize very well, but not I.
 
Yeah I tried it again today... It started to fabricate again. A fear trip. Strange images that start to scare me for no reason. NO dxm this time though. Red/yellow flashing. I found a way to fight it away. Still after the trip I didn't feel energetic or euphoric like with a good or even basic strange trip.

I'm done... For a while. A long while. I can feel it. That disgust feeling in my stomach. I figured I should have backed off but I wanted one last good trip before I laid back some. I'm pretty hard headed. But I can't fight something MAKING me fear it for no reason. Without the fabricated fear, it'd just be a strange trip. It's changing my emotions for some reason.
Like there was nothing actually scary this time. But it forced fear into me like salvia. I haven't had DMT do this. I wonder if something is wrong with my spice.

Yeah I'm done though.
Oh well. I'll hang around here though :p
 
topherfoster said:
Yeah I tried it again today... It started to fabricate again. A fear trip. Strange images that start to scare me for no reason. NO dxm this time though. Red/yellow flashing. I found a way to fight it away. Still after the trip I didn't feel energetic or euphoric like with a good or even basic strange trip.

I'm done... For a while. A long while. I can feel it. That disgust feeling in my stomach. I figured I should have backed off but I wanted one last good trip before I laid back some. I'm pretty hard headed. But I can't fight something MAKING me fear it for no reason. Without the fabricated fear, it'd just be a strange trip. It's changing my emotions for some reason.
Like there was nothing actually scary this time. But it forced fear into me like salvia. I haven't had DMT do this. I wonder if something is wrong with my spice.

Yeah I'm done though.
Oh well. I'll hang around here though :p
Click to expand...

How is your diet? Healthy?

How was your posture when vaporizing the key?
 
Laid flat on my back.
My diet is... Its normal. Does that effect it much?

My plug is old... Could that be it? Sometimes thinking about the taste its given lately reminds me of that fear.
My spice was also kind of goopy/waxy those runs.
 
I doubt there is anything wrong with your DMT. Sometimes you get stuck in a certain type of experience. Sometimes good ones sometimes bad. I take it as a sign to take a break. Enjoy life a little and put it on the back burner.

As far as how to go deeper, well I use a gvg which allows one to take any size dose you put in and inhale in one hit. That's the key, get your dose all in one hit.

When you come back to it experiment with different set and settings.
 
anrchy said:
Thing is you can breakthrough a breakthrough. You can come back thinking you broke DMT, the possibilities are endless and you have only seen the tip of the iceberg IMO
Click to expand...

That's deep.

No pun intended.

Can you imagine there being a map showing the levels of depth and when you look to see how far you've gone, you haven't even gotten close to the really deep levels?

topherfoster said:
I think McKenna was way off, when he said not one thing in your trips is from this world. Because I've seen people, clothes, a car, places I've been, etc.

I guess we're all different. I still haven't met the elves either :p
Other people have. Just not me lol.
Click to expand...

Interesting. But I wonder just how much the experience varies when combining the effects of other substances. For example, Ayahuasca is very different, according to Dr. Ede Frescka (co-author of Inner Paths to Outer Space with Dr. Rick Strassman), when using Banisteriopsis Caapi vs. Syrian Rue. He also states, the experience is largely predicated on your belief system. That while there are some overlapping experiences, Christians typically see angels, Jesus, etc., while SciFi fans see aliens. McKenna, being Irish (and proud) probably saw elves based on this upbringing. I also believe he was a Tolkien fan.

Here's the wonderful interview with Dr. Frescka.
The music was just as good as the interview.



Anyway, food for thought.

Thanks for sharing,

Ashema
 
I am Christian sort of... I mean I believe in a creator of some sort.
But I really don't see a specific angel or God. Sometimes there's trip guides I meet.

At the end of the last scary trip I had, the last time I did the spice, I saw the Grim Reaper.
His body, was the borderline between the terrifying-for-no-reason red and yellow trips, and a basic colorful visual trip.

Like the more I focused on ignoring the terrifying part, the more the Grim Reaper border slid to the left and pushed the terrifying trip out of view.

I was always under the impression that it (DMT) does NOTHING to your emotions. That just the visuals scare you. Which is why I stay away from Salvia...
But I was wrong. Whatever I read and heard numerous times was wrong. The 2 bad trips I had just start pumping fear into you. Nothing is scary about them really. Just seeing them form, something didn't seem right. Boom flashing lights and fear follows.

While I am HARD headed, and treated the fear fed to me as an experience -- I can't risk me possibly screaming in my trips and catching the attention of my neighbors.
Until I get my own house or isolated home, or go to a friends... I won't be spicing anymore.

Edit: just now getting to the entities part you see in section 3 of those videos.
 
LOOK!!!!

Old residue = bad trips. I've been doing my research. Remember I said my plug was old? Like I've never replaced it and journeyed roughly 20ish times on it. The whole plug is goopy.

Sorry I know the links are to the shroomery (boooo, I know, but google took me there).

DMT: A cautionary tale - Trip Reports - Shroomery Message Board

n,n,DMT for me has been a well-behaved molecule that could reliably transport me to a familiar place that I could enjoyably re-visit with considerable repeatability. A visual feast of closed-eye
www.shroomery.org www.shroomery.org

very scary dmt trip / breakthough report - Trip Reports - Shroomery Message Board

OOO MYYYY FUCKKKING GOOOD Ive been trying to breakthough and wondered what it would be like in complete darkness. So i went in my walk in closet, no sound, no lights whatsoever. Closing my
www.shroomery.org www.shroomery.org

Theres several stories of people smoking "old residue" and getting terrifying or even STRONGER trips.
And whenever I think about those scary trips, I automatically tie back to the burntish taste my DMT is starting to get. Sort of like BBQ smoke or something.

My trips have been getting more and more stronger maybe. Starting to floor me even on 2 hits. Mind you I'm not using a GVG, I'm use a vinegar machine.

I'm still a tad afraid to swap my plug and try it here, but I sort of want to take it to my friends and smoke it there, before and after with my old plug and a clean plug.
 
I can't speak for you but for me it doesn't seem to matter what form the DMT is in or if it was reclaimed DMT from the gvg or yellow or white ect.

Its possible a connection is being made where none really is. Coincidence maybe. Can't hurt to try as this is just my opinion.

There was one time where I thought my gvg having not been cleaned for awhile might be effecting my trips. Who knows.
 
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