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Finally, I opened the Door

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manyc

Manyc
My psychedelic history consists of about 20 acid trips (one of which was 18 hits on top of 3g of cubensis) and probably 10-15 mushroom trips. I've also done salvia and 2C-I. Until a month ago I smoked cannabis heavily - for 6 years daily. It doesn't fit in with my life right now, though. The clarity of thought and revived short-term memory is a welcomed perk of quitting.

I did a STB extraction on 200 g of powdered rootbark and on the first pull was left with what had to be at least a gram of snow-white crystals. I have been reading about DMT for close to 2 years, awaiting the day when I felt that my time had come. This niche in time in my life was that time, and after so much waiting, I couldn't believe that I had DMT in my possession. I also couldn't believe how incredibly easy it was to extract.

I immediately put an incredibly small amount into the bong and took a hit. A wave of adrenaline and instantaneous fear swept over me, and a strange kind of "film" layered over my vision. This was just a "test-run" -- I knew it wouldn't produce strong effects and it wasn't yet the time to try and reach that place.

Well... later that night, I brought one of my old smoking/tripping buddies over to the shed in which the DMT lay in wait.

I took a few small hits, wary because I hadn't yet learned what kind of hit will produce what level of effects. As I exhaled that last hit, I felt my consciousness literally expanding - that's the only way to explain it. As cliche as that is. The visuals were like being tossed into the peak of an acid trip - only so much more intense, so different... I didn't feel any kind of entities. Yet.

I relayed my experience to my friend, saying "That makes everything seem possible that physics says should be impossible." That's all I could say at the time. And that wasn't even a very strong dose, I've come to realize.

My friend tried it but was obviously even more wary than I. He quickly realized -as I had- that this is not something to be toyed with. It's an incredibly potent drug that has an unbelievably quick onset. I realized it really is in a league of its own.

I still had a kind of great fear and apprehension after that, but knew I had to try again in an hour. I did. But this time I went to the shed alone, which I now believe leaves the "door" open more widely for whatever entity it is that this experience summons.

I took some deep breaths, and centered myself. I took a hit... another hit... and felt it running through me. But I knew if I took ONE MORE good hit, something big was going to happen. It was like I was on the edge of a cliff, preparing for a death-defying base jump.

I took the last hit. It was a big one. I held it in for about 8 seconds, before I exhaled and reality suddenly separated before me and I was thrown into another world. I no longer felt my body, yet I was essentially completely conscious of what I was going through - or at least, my mind was doing its best to decipher what was happening. You don't realize how hard it is to put the DMT experience into words until you're trying to, but I can do my best.

The sounds that encompassed my perception after I exhaled that last hit were like the clamoring of another dimension. A mixture of rapid and frantic alien vocalizations and increasingly high-pitched tones that seemed to coincide with the colors and lights that were assaulting my mind. At one point, 3 or 4 sets of high-pitched whining tones kept escalating, and escalating... it felt impossible that I would be able to endure the pitch any longer, as if something needed to explode soon to relieve the "pressure."

The sounds, to me, were voices. They were competing for my attention. Some were laughing at me, as if to say "Haha! You are so weak and confused right now, you have no idea what to make of this!"

While at the same time, there were presences trying to comfort me and help me through the experience. There were a million separate entities, all fighting one another to dominate my senses. Never did they take on a definite shape.

Visually, there was too much information for me to absorb during those few moments to be able to relay anything coherent. The only thing I remember seeing is the mask from a live video of Shpongle - D.M.T. I suppose it was an implanted image that emerged during the experience, as if I subconsciously expected to see such a face when I did smoke it. Or maybe it's an entity that they saw as well. I take all my psychedelic experiences with a grain of salt - while I want to believe that there are truly entities being channeled, I never lose sight of the fact that it's just as plausible that I am channeling nothing more than my own subconscious mind. Either way, it's an experience unlike any other.

The sounds of that dimension started fading away, as if I was moving away from them. Ever so gradually, they faded... giving me the feeling that I was actually leaving another place. As my perceptions slowly became more familiar, I realized I was tripping harder than I ever had in my life. More intense than 6 dry grams of cubensis. More intense even than 18 hits of acid.

When I was in that place I was consciously asking WHATEVER WAS THERE to not give me more than I could handle.

My surroundings were slowly coming back together - it's the only way to describe it. As I said, reality had "seperated." However, the visual distortions were still just.. so unbelievably intense! When I looked anywhere it's as if I was looking at infinite copies of the image, overlayed and surrounding eachother. It's impossible to accurately describe... but I honestly became afraid that I was never going to be "normal" again. As they say, I felt that I'd "really done it this time." Never have I understood that statement as I do now. I couldn't imagine how I could handle this kind of intense trip for any amount of time, but the way I could feel it fading was comforting.

I looked in the huge mirror that is in that shed after I could stand, and saw that my pupils were extremely dilated. I opened the door and the outside world was colored in a way that I've never had the joy of witnessing. I had to walk back to the house, to tell them what happened... the experience seemed to be fading, as a dream does when you first awaken. It was so frustrating to try and explain to them what I had seen, felt, and heard.

You can only truly understand by going there yourself.

After this I still had so much apprehension about actually smoking the DMT that everytime I thought about it, I felt the need to take a shit and I had very strong butterflies in my stomach. I had sat inside the house and smoked some with my wife, but had gotten some very strange vibes.. negative ones. The feeling of a male presence had pervaded that experience. The truth is, I spent my childhood in that room, and a man burned alive in that house decades ago. Perhaps there is residual negative ectoplasmic energy lingering in the house.

I definitely can't help but believe that any psychedelic (but especially DMT) is like hooking your body's metaphysical antenna to a cosmic amplifier. Strengthening your soul's individual broadcast signal to other-worldly entities. Perhaps that's why communicating with external beings is such a universal experience with psychedelics. Or, maybe it just makes you schizophrenic for the duration of the trip. Haha.

A few days later I sat outside and smoked some alone, and the experience destroyed any fear of DMT that I had. When I took that final deal-sealing hit, my body and vision aligned with that certain vibrational channel. A grid overlayed my vision, in the middle of which was an eye staring directly through the fiber of my being. The sounds returned, the symphony of indescribable other-worldly sounds that I've only ever heard before on 18 hits of acid - but then, it was oh-so faint. As if DMT pushed that last bit of the envelope. This time, I felt nothing but welcoming positive energy - I attribute this to the fact that I decided to burn a white candle, I was alone, and I was outside.

I was graced with the closed-eye vision of waves of beautiful shapes and colors, and I had the amazing feeling that it was a dance being presented to me by female entities.

That last experience has alleviated the fear I had. Now I look forward with anticipation to the next session I have - it hasn't been daily because I feel like I need to space them out, even if I can smoke it multiple times a day.

They don't like abuse.
 
yes its a good idea to relieve any body functions before blast off...SWIM had to piss so bad once in the middle of an experience..and the little guys that crashed into his house got away once he turned his back to them..sneaky sneaky little people..

its exciting to hear about first timers..the thoughts they have to go through..the excitement that comes with it..it reminds SWIM of his first times...and the indescribable ness of it..even if you can picture some FLASHES of memories..


welcome!
 
Thanks for the replies, and about the bodily functions... lol. I've made it a point to take a piss or drop a deuce BEFORE every session I've had so far, which is only about 4. I think I've done good by doing that. :p
 
I love it ! ... A Beingasm A day ! or once a week, maybe ... I get a Flashback within-a-flashback withinaflashback from the rants of anyone who tries to type about it ... just knowing how hard it is to come close to grok it, why bother typing a blip about it !? How to surrender to it, that is what we can all be reminded of when hearing how someone 'successfully' gets it - smoke lots and .. just let go !. And mostly when hearing these stories, it's good to know this is all so 'normal' when you get some dmt ... A billion angels sing ! or was it more like ...

... "The sounds, to me, were voices. They were competing for my attention. Some were laughing at me, as if to say "Haha! You are so weak and confused right now, you have no idea what to make of this!" .... While at the same time, there were presences trying to comfort me and help me through the experience. There were a million separate entities, all fighting one another to dominate my senses." ..

Why is it so damn crowded out there, sometimes ... !? The uber-rave, mega-mall, planet-worth-of-business ... all going on around us ..?

The flashback-memory I get sometimes has the ante-chamber/playpen where you emerge first, it's almost like a 'filter' to keep them out of your view ... they still will emerge, crack-open a window pane, and enter the 'room' ... wearing the walls ! small, friendly kids, children .. ninos ... ! Thw room feels like a pregnant womb, and were all gonna bust out soon. A pole of light often comes down and I ride it up... but meanwhile the first kid-like entities could morph into anything - aramadillos with human heads, or you egos last attempt to make out something 'ok', as the room becomes a palace, becomes an atmosphere, becomes a planet and a Star, ... galaxy with UFO, ... more beings, ... hard to remember, but, 'they' might all be the same being, trying to 'relate' to ones gradually expanded consciousness... Up there, they are 'less crowded' but equally busy - running the Universe it seemed ... and it was a time for me to get a tune-up and tweak to my light body ...

But we want more of your stories Manyc !
 
Congrats man, and very nice report. After maybe 50 rides in the past couple of months, SWIM is no better equipped to understand, articulate or even imagine the place he goes to (when back on channel normal) than he was right after the first. Every single time, it seems, it's like getting hit by lightning - even if he's just been an hour before. It's truly amazing how impossible it is for him to envision the space with accuracy even a second after the peak subsides. He's just not able to bring it back home. The two planes don't seem to reconcile.

I loved your comment about it's contradicting the laws of physics. It's just always such a staggering surprise to actually experience this firsthand. If you continue to go, I think you'll find it only gets deeper and weirder. You will defintiely hit a point where you lose site of yourself entirely - no identity whatsoever, no awareness of having taken a drug, no recollection of another space. And no matter how articulate you are or how well you express yourself on paper, you will NEVER be able to capture it in words. I just don't think it's possible. McKenna's attempts, as evocative (and entertaining) as they are, don't sum up my breakthroughs at all.
 
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