heavenlypursuit
Rising Star
Well, I am new the the Nexus, so first off... hello to all!
Right now I am currently in the middle of a personal dilemma. SWIM has visited hyperspace about 8 times, and broken through 3 of those times. The first experience was with a steam roller and an ash method. SWIM had no idea what hyperspace may hold for him, so without hesitation he took his first hit of 40mg and held for 20 seconds. Instant body load like he had never felt before. SWIM repeated, and understood why people kept saying to take a third hit "if you can". SWIM felt like he could not move, but somehow managed to take a third hit, without ever knowing if he even held it because he was :shock: looong gone. With his eyes open, he was barraged with the most rapidly morphing, color changing, geometric patterns ever witnessed. It was so beautiful. SWIM could only mumble the word "amazing" in between laughter and near tears. The sounds from the tv sped up and seemed high pitched, with a tinny sort of undertone to them. this made SWIM laugh more. once the OEV's subsided, SWIM went outside to smoke a cig and watched the night time sky shift from black, to gray, to a sepia sort of hue, then repeat again. SWIM then began to cry from sheer joy and went up to his room to try and sleep. This was impossible. SWIM wanted to tell all his closest friends about the experience so bad, but it was much too late to call anybody. Eventually SWIM laid down and went to sleep, waking up the next day in a most fantastic mode.
This brings SWIM to the next two occasions. Both were on infused leaf, out of a bong. After about two weeks since SWIM's wonderful journey, he decided to try the infused leaves he had been making. SWIM went to his room, turned the lights off, lit a candle (had never done this before), and proceeded to load 100 mg of a 1:1 calea mix into an 18 inch bong. To this day, SWIM is still trying to recall the first couple minutes, for he thinks he never exhaled the hit, and blacked out. Once he came to, he had no idea he had smoked a hallucinogen and immediately panicked. the room was dark, yet brighter than daylight, and his brain somehow got a thought that the candle had lit his room on fire. At this point, he went downstairs and found a friend of his passed out on the couch. This did not sit well. SWIM thought he was the only person alive in the entire world. He started yelling, "Is there anybody here?, Is there anybody here?" SWIM's friend did not wake up, so he was thoroughly convinced he was the only person alive. He then proceeded to stumble back upstairs and pound on his room mates door. Thank god for SWIM's room mate. He instantly knew there was something up because SWIM's voice sounded very scared. SWIM kept asking if he was there, and at one point SWIM felt he could not even see his room mate even though he was physically in front of him. SWIM kept repeating three questions to his friend... What time is it? Is my room on fire? Did I break my bong? After SWIM's room mate would answer, SWIM would mumble "okay" in a confused tone, and then repeat the same questions. SWIM's friend then led him downstairs and got him water, and set up as comfortable as possible. The realization that SWIM was not the only person in existence began to fade, and at that point he began to have an awesome 45 minutes of LSD like visuals, and hysterical laughter. It was like a complete 180. The next day, SWIM was a bit emotionally and psychologically drained, and gained a strong respect for infused leaf.
The third breakthrough was on a 1:3 skullcap mix out of the same bong, but in a different setting. I know now that the setting was not conducive for a good trip, but SWIM did not realize it then. The tv was on and loud, lights were on, and my roomate and his girl were there for sitters, to hopefully prevent a repeat of SWIM's last trip. SWIM finally gathered the courage to hit the bong, held the strangely grape tasting smoke, and passed the bong off to his friend. Before the trade off even occurred, he was hit with the most intense carrier wave he ever had. It became so strong that SWIM felt no escape from it, and thought it was going to destroy him. It was in EVERY CELL of his body, just as the Lexicon said. Once it subsided, the noise from the tv became unbearable, so SWIM told his friend to turn the volume down. Once he did this, the silence then became so loud that SWIM asked for some mellow music, all while seeing the same intense patterns and colors he had grown somewhat accustomed to in his small collection of journeys to hyperspace. As SWIM began to start to panic, he kept repeating that he had done this to himself with something that he had made himself. For some reason, this simple statement snapped him away from the fear, into a good trip for about 8 minutes.
It has now been over two months since SWIM's last journey's. He has made many, many, different varieties of infused leaf, some changa, jungle spice,and batches of spice with different techniques. SWIM has spent the past two months researching ways to conquer the fear, let go, tie up loose ends, eat healthy and practice beginners meditation and yoga. SWIM literally FEELS the spice and blends calling him. He has gifted many friends who are all absolutely stunned with the spirit molecule, none of whom had experienced bad trips because of my experiences and the advice I read from the Nexus. SWIM really wants to go back to hyperspace, but he can't seem to actually hit the bowl with the lighter once he has packed it. The anxiety takes over, and SWIM feels everything he has tried to learn just goes out the window due to fear. It should also be noted, SWIM has never closed his eyes on any of his journeys, and now knows it is crucial to relaxing and letting go. Does it make a big difference? I would love to hear any advice and support from others to help SWIM get over the hump and get back to his work. 8)
Right now I am currently in the middle of a personal dilemma. SWIM has visited hyperspace about 8 times, and broken through 3 of those times. The first experience was with a steam roller and an ash method. SWIM had no idea what hyperspace may hold for him, so without hesitation he took his first hit of 40mg and held for 20 seconds. Instant body load like he had never felt before. SWIM repeated, and understood why people kept saying to take a third hit "if you can". SWIM felt like he could not move, but somehow managed to take a third hit, without ever knowing if he even held it because he was :shock: looong gone. With his eyes open, he was barraged with the most rapidly morphing, color changing, geometric patterns ever witnessed. It was so beautiful. SWIM could only mumble the word "amazing" in between laughter and near tears. The sounds from the tv sped up and seemed high pitched, with a tinny sort of undertone to them. this made SWIM laugh more. once the OEV's subsided, SWIM went outside to smoke a cig and watched the night time sky shift from black, to gray, to a sepia sort of hue, then repeat again. SWIM then began to cry from sheer joy and went up to his room to try and sleep. This was impossible. SWIM wanted to tell all his closest friends about the experience so bad, but it was much too late to call anybody. Eventually SWIM laid down and went to sleep, waking up the next day in a most fantastic mode.
This brings SWIM to the next two occasions. Both were on infused leaf, out of a bong. After about two weeks since SWIM's wonderful journey, he decided to try the infused leaves he had been making. SWIM went to his room, turned the lights off, lit a candle (had never done this before), and proceeded to load 100 mg of a 1:1 calea mix into an 18 inch bong. To this day, SWIM is still trying to recall the first couple minutes, for he thinks he never exhaled the hit, and blacked out. Once he came to, he had no idea he had smoked a hallucinogen and immediately panicked. the room was dark, yet brighter than daylight, and his brain somehow got a thought that the candle had lit his room on fire. At this point, he went downstairs and found a friend of his passed out on the couch. This did not sit well. SWIM thought he was the only person alive in the entire world. He started yelling, "Is there anybody here?, Is there anybody here?" SWIM's friend did not wake up, so he was thoroughly convinced he was the only person alive. He then proceeded to stumble back upstairs and pound on his room mates door. Thank god for SWIM's room mate. He instantly knew there was something up because SWIM's voice sounded very scared. SWIM kept asking if he was there, and at one point SWIM felt he could not even see his room mate even though he was physically in front of him. SWIM kept repeating three questions to his friend... What time is it? Is my room on fire? Did I break my bong? After SWIM's room mate would answer, SWIM would mumble "okay" in a confused tone, and then repeat the same questions. SWIM's friend then led him downstairs and got him water, and set up as comfortable as possible. The realization that SWIM was not the only person in existence began to fade, and at that point he began to have an awesome 45 minutes of LSD like visuals, and hysterical laughter. It was like a complete 180. The next day, SWIM was a bit emotionally and psychologically drained, and gained a strong respect for infused leaf.
The third breakthrough was on a 1:3 skullcap mix out of the same bong, but in a different setting. I know now that the setting was not conducive for a good trip, but SWIM did not realize it then. The tv was on and loud, lights were on, and my roomate and his girl were there for sitters, to hopefully prevent a repeat of SWIM's last trip. SWIM finally gathered the courage to hit the bong, held the strangely grape tasting smoke, and passed the bong off to his friend. Before the trade off even occurred, he was hit with the most intense carrier wave he ever had. It became so strong that SWIM felt no escape from it, and thought it was going to destroy him. It was in EVERY CELL of his body, just as the Lexicon said. Once it subsided, the noise from the tv became unbearable, so SWIM told his friend to turn the volume down. Once he did this, the silence then became so loud that SWIM asked for some mellow music, all while seeing the same intense patterns and colors he had grown somewhat accustomed to in his small collection of journeys to hyperspace. As SWIM began to start to panic, he kept repeating that he had done this to himself with something that he had made himself. For some reason, this simple statement snapped him away from the fear, into a good trip for about 8 minutes.
It has now been over two months since SWIM's last journey's. He has made many, many, different varieties of infused leaf, some changa, jungle spice,and batches of spice with different techniques. SWIM has spent the past two months researching ways to conquer the fear, let go, tie up loose ends, eat healthy and practice beginners meditation and yoga. SWIM literally FEELS the spice and blends calling him. He has gifted many friends who are all absolutely stunned with the spirit molecule, none of whom had experienced bad trips because of my experiences and the advice I read from the Nexus. SWIM really wants to go back to hyperspace, but he can't seem to actually hit the bowl with the lighter once he has packed it. The anxiety takes over, and SWIM feels everything he has tried to learn just goes out the window due to fear. It should also be noted, SWIM has never closed his eyes on any of his journeys, and now knows it is crucial to relaxing and letting go. Does it make a big difference? I would love to hear any advice and support from others to help SWIM get over the hump and get back to his work. 8)
