first ayahuasca experience

[humility]

I took two shot glasses of reduced caapi from a total of 50g of vine. The taste was horrid. It worked, though. It was too strong for a first time, actually. I didn't even take the Chacruna because the caapi was hitting me SO HARD! It hit quickly and I started spinning and "taking off". Physically, the experience was awful. My body was shaking, there was persistent nausea, and overall it felt like torture. Mentally was just as intense and I eventually had to relegate myself to just "waiting for it to be over". There was a voice in my head the entire time I was in dialog with, and I've included some things below I wrote down during the experience for integration into my daily life.

Early on, I asked, "why are you hitting me so hard and so fast?" It responded, "We have a lot to do and little time!"

The lowest point occurred when I was sitting on the toilet, shaking. It was yelling at me, "you are so FULL OF FEAR! We have to get this fear out, we have to puke!" I didn't puke though. It was a low moment though and I started to get depressed about all the stark and brutally honest statements it was making about me. I had to quickly divert myself out of that line of thinking because I felt myself spiraling down into a deep despair and sadness.

Other things I was told:

"use my heart and not my head"

"you can't go wrong with love!"

"when I feel oneness during meditation 'it's one of the few real things I've had in my life'"

"LIVE LIFE!"

"Laughter is GOOD!"

"Head out, Heart IN!"

Next time I'll do one shot of caapi and a shot of chacruna. This was way to intense. I "tripped" a good 6 hours on caapi alone and was physically depleted for 24 hours.

Questions:

-- What are some specific things I can do in life to integrate the lessons? Particularly the ones about using my heart instead of my head.
-- Is it possible to mitigate the nausea?

 

[ragabr]

What are some specific things I can do in life to integrate the lessons? Particularly the ones about using my heart instead of my head.

Drink more caapi! :d

It's very difficult for me to come up with any suggestions, other than change your intention to one of love when you notice yourself acting from a different place. Don't get rough on yourself for it, accepting ourselves plays as much a role in expressing love as anything else.

Edit: or, to quote Brother Antrocles, LOVE AND GRATITUDE!

Is it possible to mitigate the nausea?

Put the brew in the fridge for several hours, and decant the solids off the bottom, repeat at least two times. Since doing this, SWIM has never had the extreme nausea that came with going straight from brewing to drinking.

 

[olympus mon]

humility, congradulations on success!!! many dont on their forst try so feel good about that.
can the nausea be eliminated? ABSOLUTLY, and easily. ragabar gave you some good ideas and she knows her ayahuasca thats for sure.
i like to take things a step further and do a freez precipitation. i wrote out details in another thread. heres ya go.

ive tried a few different methods. heres the one i found best.
i usually take a couple days to do my brew. i partially reduce the first wash while i simmer the 2nd wash and so on for all 3 washes. i let each partially reduced wash decant overnight pouring off the tea but SAVE the sediment! do this for all 3 partially reduced washes so at the end of this stage you should have a 3 washes decanted and a jar of all the sludge.

i then do my main reduction combining all washes. i get this down to 8oz and put in the fridge over night. from there i put the cappi tea in the freezer on the coldest setting overnight. this is called freeze precipitating and it gets all the gunk out that decanting missed. thaw out, pour off liquid and add the sediment to your sludge jar. your tea is now done, seal it sterilize it and put it back in the fridge.

take the sludge and add 8-10oz acidified distilled h20 bring to a boil for a few min and let cool. place sediment tea in mason jar put in fridge over night, then freezer over night as you did with the caapi tea. pour off liquid and discard sludge.

now you can either add this sediment tea to the main brew and reduce to your desired portion or use at as booster.

this sounds like a lot of work but its not, just takes a few days of waiting. i found this is the most ideal way to remove all the tannins and nausea but not sacrifice potency. since ive started doing this method i have had ZERO nausea let alone any purge.

also if you dont mind me asking what did you expect from drinking caapi? did your experience catch you off guard? i ask this because i often read of peoples supposed "bad trip", or "caapi overdose" and think it sounded perfectly reasonable to me. strong but thats were you want to be. remove the nausea and it would feel much different.

i think sometimes people go into caapi or ayahuasca thinking its going to be like tripping and a fun time. it can most certainly be rough rides and kick your ass, but the healing......O THE BEAUTIFUL HEALING that comes with these plants is what its all about and walking through the fire is part of the whole experience.

 

[ragabr]

totally support what olympus has shared here as well. I've been planning on trying out the freeze precipitation on the next brew ever since he first mentioned it.

my first caapi journey came as a complete shock. i had used syrian rue teas for a couple of years to make dmt orally active, and had tried some fairly strong teas of just rue without having a visionary experience. so i tried some caapi, alone, and she floored me... literally.

 

[humility]

Thanks for the replies!

@ragabr: It's funny, I actually stored the brew in the fridge for over a week and when the time came to partake I intentionally drank the sediment at the bottom erroneously thinking that was the appropriate thing to do! Next time, I'll obviously skip that step. If that doesn't work I'll try out olympus' tek.

I also wanted to thank you for your suggestion regarding head/heart. Accepting myself and shortcomings as-is is nothing I've ever considered. I've always stressed improving and never being content with myself. I'll have to think about this more.

@olympus mon: Thanks for the freezing tip! As for my expectations, I was looking for an introduction to the vine, a learning experience, and nothing too intense. I never thought it would be like "tripping" or "fun" I'm using ayahuasca for personal, physical, and "spiritual" development, along with exercise, eating healthy, finishing school, getting married, etc. I want to evolve, become more good, and gain greater insight into creation than I currently have. I hate the fact that we all die and I've wrestled with that fact since I was very young. If I can some how come to peace with that, via the vine or some other method, that would be something.

Lastly, another quick question: I felt I was flying through tunnels during certain parts of my experience. Are feeling/seeing tunnels a common experience? What's the presiding theory on those?

I'm looking forward to the next, less nauseating, experience!

 

[olympus mon]

Thanks for the replies!

@ragabr: It's funny, I actually stored the brew in the fridge for over a week and when the time came to partake I intentionally drank the sediment at the bottom erroneously thinking that was the appropriate thing to do!

o buddy!!!!:lol: :lol: im laughing because i did the exact same thing on my first caapi attempt with 100g sediment and all!!! and its the hardest caapi has ever hit me.
the next time i drank 100g without the sludge and it was the sweet spot so maybe try the same dose just decanted.

your sound like you very aware of what your doing and why. this will take you far. ive heard many tales from people working through their own mortality fears with ayahuasca. if this is a strong underlying problem in your life it may just be the first order of business mother aya wants to help you with. for me it was my fear of hurting and being hurt. first breakthrough it went straight for it. it was intense and hard but the most wonderful experience.

safe journeys to you my brother or sister,
OM

 

[humility]

@olympus mon: hahahaha! Looking forward to talking to you more in the future. Your brother, humility.

 

[Malaclypse]

I had to giggle as well to the report. This is pretty similar to what happened to me and Olympus mon was giggling since he had recently been there. I too wasn't expecting what happened to happen to that extreme. Again not because I was trying to get FUCKED UP. I've been on an 8 year break from psychedelics I haven't tried to get fucked up since well really ever (at least with these teachers). It's just that there aren't a ton of caapi only experiences documented and there is so much information on DMT and it's peculiarities that one can be lead to assume that most of the "aya" experience is from the DMT despite it being named after the vine itself. I was expecting maybe a body load and some clear thoughts and maybe some interesting visual phenomenon. Not a full blow experience that came on as fast as it did. Truly amazing. So glad I went through that w/o any admixtures.

Good luck on your future plans. Keep us posted on if the decanting/freezing also works for you and what type of vine/brewing method you used so that we can have a better foundation of info for others. I'm in the process of freeze decanting and re-combining my caapi brew right now based on Olympus mon's quoted post. I'll update with the results eventually. Should be insightful on the nausea front since it is the same exact brew that previously had me completely sick for a full 5 hours during the experience.