First break through (I think) ... Need advice.

[Psychoactive Haven]

I had this dream the other day that I climbed to the top of a mountain on a day trip with the closest people in my life and once at the top we thought it to be a beautiful scene to try some spice (this being my 4th experience with the sacred sacrament). About 20-25mg was loaded up in the GVG (first time using this) and my mood was phenomenal considering it had been an amazing day. One hit was taken and held in for roughly 15-20 seconds and I laid back next to my friends and brother and closed my eyes.

As I begin to feel the intensity of the trip I closed my eyes because I had wanted to try and breakthrough. I remember a feeling similar to me floating out of my body and remember thinking to myself "no, I don't want to break through right now," almost as if I was mentally trying to fight it off. Immediately afterwards I remember watching the visuals and the sense of the presence of my friends had began to slowly vanish until I could no longer sense where I was or the presence of anyone around me, it was as if I was in a completely different dimension.

After losing all sense of anything I remember watching this fairy figure that looked like the Vitruvian Man in a box connected by lines from the corners of the box. The box was a crazy red color and the background felt like all the colors in the world plus some. As I was watching this a frog figure in a similar yellow looking box began floating from the other side (keep in mind this was all two dimensional, almost as if I were looking at a picture). The two figures began to float together and overlap with the frog in front so the frog figure was all I could see, hence it had overlapped the fairy. As the two had overlapped I began to feel a sense that the were alive, it was a very real feeling.

Anyways, as the frog overlapped the fairy figure I began to feel this sensation going down my throat and all throughout my chest and I remember thinking to myself "this must be what synaethesia is like." As time past I began to realize that this feeling was the frog shoving something down my throat and instantly I realized that what was going on was bad and immediately opened my eyes (I don't know how) and grabbed on to my brother until the trip was over. The feeling was so real that I asked him if anyone had shoved something down my throat. The thing is, I felt EXTREMELY violated after I had recognized what was happening and related it to a scenario of a little kid essentially being molested. Basically I was ignorant to what was going on and once I realized that it was bad it was already too late and there was nothing I could do about it. Granted, I have never been raped before but the feeling I had afterwards was what I imagine a rape victim would have felt, and I just felt so incredibly violated that I was almost ashamed to discuss what had just happened.

My few questions:
Has anyone had experience with a frog type entity?

Does anyone have any idea what this means? (It made me feel like i am doing something wrong in my life and spent all night analyzing it but couldn't quite figure it out, considering I try to live the best life I can and one for others)

Does this sound like a breakthrough experience? If so, why was everything still two dimensional? I always imagined it like I'm stepping into a different world and walking around and speaking with entities.

Lastly, should I stop smoking for a while or is the only way to find out what happens to go back in? (Because the idea of smoking again really gives me an unsettling feeling).

Anyways, if anyone could help me determine this experience or have any relatable experiences that would be wonderful.

 

[Enoon]

Hello Psychoactive Haven,

It sounds like it was a break through, especially since you lost contact with your surroundings.

As for the experience itself I have two possible perspectives to take a look at.

The first is physiological. DMT smoke is somewhat harsher than pure air and your body might have been having a lingering sensation of this smoking having passed your throat and lungs which was built into the trip. Part of you might have found this to be disturbing and worrying, which may account for the bad experience. You used the GVG for the first time, perhaps the smoke felt different in your lungs and airways and this affected your trip.

The second is metaphorical. The idea of having something shoved down your throat, aside from violation, could be a sign for somethign in your life that you are - so to speak - forced to swallow, even though it goes against what you believe, want or need. Since I don't know more about you, I couldn'T tell you what in particular this is, but it's a possible metaphor for this feeling.

It's hard to say what will happen when you go back in. Sometimes harsh experiences like this are random, sometimes there is a pattern. It really depends on what the origin of it is, and this is a mystery you will have to resolve one way or the other. I don't see why you should necessarily stay away from DMT, if/once you feel you can handle going back. If the next time you get something similar you might want to do some more investigation into it.

 

[Felnik]

My suggestion is to try not to take it too seriously. Keep an open
mind and try not to attach anything to it. It's good to stay light and keep
a sense of humor about it all. It can be beyond weird at times.

There is a dose learning curve in the beginning sometimes
even in the best of set and setting it can hit you wrong . Sometimes too much
too quick, too hot can miss the mark big time and be just plain bad.
I would not dwell on it at all and not be afraid at all to try again . Next time
Ease yourself in with small multiple hits rather than the balls to the wall approach .
I suggest grounding yourself and finding your inner strength and do not let
this stuff try to scare you as sometimes it try's . Just observe don't judge hold your ground .

 

[Psychoactive Haven]

The second is metaphorical. The idea of having something shoved down your throat, aside from violation, could be a sign for somethign in your life that you are - so to speak - forced to swallow, even though it goes against what you believe, want or need. Since I don't know more about you, I couldn'T tell you what in particular this is, but it's a possible metaphor for this

I like this, because I remember telling my brother that it felt like all the bus it society had to offer was being shoved down my throat even though I knew it was all wrong.


Also, thank you both for chiming in, I really do appreciate it.

 

[Mz.Gypzy]

I've had a similar experiences of something being sneakly put down my throat.
When I first became aware if it, I was a little freaked out, but I tried to refrain from judgments and let it unfold.

If I may ask, are you sure the intensions were "bad"? May it just been a shock to you?
IMO bringing in my human notions of bad and good. Right and wrong into hyperspace can really limit what we receive.

Next time, ask yourself what the worst that could of happened if you just let them do their thing to you? If you had just tried to observe and let go?


Just some thoughts based on my own experiences.

 

[Psychoactive Haven]

I definitely understand what you mean by that. I guess I let it happen for a bit and then something just told me it was a bad thing which was able to startle me back into reality.
What was the outcome by letting the entity push whatever it was down your throat? Did you feel as if you gained any insight from it?
Once again, thank you so much for the response!

 

[Mz.Gypzy]

Nothing "bad" came from letting it happen. For me, It was a lesson in learning to let go. To surrender to the experience.
I didn't get a sense of good or bad from it, but indifference.

I could have chosen to be afraid and believe it was harming me, or I could have chosen to enjoy it and believe it was healing me or something.

How we interpt our experiences are based on our beliefs and programming,IMO.

So sometimes its best to approach it with the attitude of just being an observer and stopping ourselves from judging if something is good or bad.

Good luck and safe travels.

 

[Global]

This has happened to me before. It felt like my jaw was actually forcefully opened and I sensed/saw an entity go down what I assumed to be my throat, but it was all quite vague. I remember kind of feeling violated too, but when you go into hyperspace you have to be ready to deal with the good and the bad. These things can and will interpenetrate you, and for all you know they're doing it constantly, all day every day...it just something you have to get through like knowing you have billions of bacteria cells living inside you at any given moment or that there are germs on just about everything you touch.