Last night I had the most amazing experience. After the trip I spent hours trying to integrate what happened, but I feel like it's slipping away from me already, so I'll write it down.
My relationship with DMT up until now has been kind of sketchy. I had smoked small doses on 3 occasions, but the set and setting was not perfect and I was afraid of taking the plunge. All I had gotten so far was some cool looking fractal visuals.
I spent the afternoon yesterday cleaning the house, and my mind, preparing for a psychedelic journey. I decided to take a low dose of mushrooms and smoke some cannabis, I had no plans on doing DMT. I drank a cup of tea made from 1.5g of P. Weilii mushrooms (which are quite potent). About an hour later I smoke some cannabis and start to get some light OEVs.
I then had the urge to get out my DMT kit. For some reason, the fear that I had felt towards DMT was completely diminished in my beshroomed state. I thought to myself "maybe I will go a bit further, I want to see what this stuff is all about". At this point I still had no plans on breaking through.
I loaded up 20mg DMT into my mini-machine and started taking small hits. Once I got into the headspace, I had this feeling that I was being given permission to explore further, a feeling I hadn't gotten the first few times I tried DMT. This was the first sign that something amazing was about to happen.
I then loaded another 30mg into my machine and took the plunge. The smoke was thick in my lungs, the second I hit the pipe I knew it was going to be the big one. This was it, there was no going back.
I looked around my room and saw reality begin to dissolve. Within a few seconds, my entire reality was gone and I felt like I was travelling through A fractal tunnel. I immediately felt a strong female presence. I had the feeling that this presence was very loving and accepting. This presence started to take form visually into a blue energy.
I watched this blue energy for a minute. I was captivated. The blue energy started to morph and I saw what I could only describe at the time as a "blue goddess". She was dancing, in a mysterious cosmic way. I have seen this dance on previous deep mushroom and LSD trips, I call it "the eternal cosmic dance". (Note: After my trip I did googled- "blue dancing goddess" and was greeted by pictures of the Hindu goddess Shiva, who looks remarkably similar to the entity I saw, and she is even called "The cosmic dancer". Will research this later)
So I watched Shiva dance for a minute. All the while I'm still flying through the fractal tunnel. All of the sudden I break through into a room. It feels quite large. The walls are made of fractals and the fractal chaos is all around me. I won't try and describe the room any more than that because I fell that words wouldn't do it justice.
This is when it hit me. I felt like I was viewing the true nature of reality, but I was in some kind of limited room because I was only a human and didn't have the eyes to see or whatever.
I was struck by immense joy and love. I felt that "god" (some type of universal cosmic mother) had given me some type of "secret" on the true nature of reality. That my whole life had been leading up to this point. Tears of joy streamed down my face. I laughed at the beauty and complexity of the universe. I felt the most amazing feeling, it was like a combination of love, joy, peace, understanding, acceptance, and pure physical ecstasy. I was in awe.
After coming down a bit I realized that during my whole trip, my eyes had been open and my face stuck in a look of awe and amazement. Afterwards I couldn't get the smile off my face for at least 30 minutes.
All in all it was the most powerful and moving experience of my life. Afterwards, I lay in bed for hours trying to understand what I had just been shown. How can I live my life the same way knowing what I know now?
Even now, only 12 hours since my trip, the whole experience feels like "gold dust slipping through your fingers" I wish that I could capture it and hold onto it forever. I need to explore further.
Thank you to everyone on the Nexus. You all gave me the knowledge I needed to have this amazing experience. Thank you so much. I feel like I have finally found my Path.
My relationship with DMT up until now has been kind of sketchy. I had smoked small doses on 3 occasions, but the set and setting was not perfect and I was afraid of taking the plunge. All I had gotten so far was some cool looking fractal visuals.
I spent the afternoon yesterday cleaning the house, and my mind, preparing for a psychedelic journey. I decided to take a low dose of mushrooms and smoke some cannabis, I had no plans on doing DMT. I drank a cup of tea made from 1.5g of P. Weilii mushrooms (which are quite potent). About an hour later I smoke some cannabis and start to get some light OEVs.
I then had the urge to get out my DMT kit. For some reason, the fear that I had felt towards DMT was completely diminished in my beshroomed state. I thought to myself "maybe I will go a bit further, I want to see what this stuff is all about". At this point I still had no plans on breaking through.
I loaded up 20mg DMT into my mini-machine and started taking small hits. Once I got into the headspace, I had this feeling that I was being given permission to explore further, a feeling I hadn't gotten the first few times I tried DMT. This was the first sign that something amazing was about to happen.
I then loaded another 30mg into my machine and took the plunge. The smoke was thick in my lungs, the second I hit the pipe I knew it was going to be the big one. This was it, there was no going back.
I looked around my room and saw reality begin to dissolve. Within a few seconds, my entire reality was gone and I felt like I was travelling through A fractal tunnel. I immediately felt a strong female presence. I had the feeling that this presence was very loving and accepting. This presence started to take form visually into a blue energy.
I watched this blue energy for a minute. I was captivated. The blue energy started to morph and I saw what I could only describe at the time as a "blue goddess". She was dancing, in a mysterious cosmic way. I have seen this dance on previous deep mushroom and LSD trips, I call it "the eternal cosmic dance". (Note: After my trip I did googled- "blue dancing goddess" and was greeted by pictures of the Hindu goddess Shiva, who looks remarkably similar to the entity I saw, and she is even called "The cosmic dancer". Will research this later)
So I watched Shiva dance for a minute. All the while I'm still flying through the fractal tunnel. All of the sudden I break through into a room. It feels quite large. The walls are made of fractals and the fractal chaos is all around me. I won't try and describe the room any more than that because I fell that words wouldn't do it justice.
This is when it hit me. I felt like I was viewing the true nature of reality, but I was in some kind of limited room because I was only a human and didn't have the eyes to see or whatever.
I was struck by immense joy and love. I felt that "god" (some type of universal cosmic mother) had given me some type of "secret" on the true nature of reality. That my whole life had been leading up to this point. Tears of joy streamed down my face. I laughed at the beauty and complexity of the universe. I felt the most amazing feeling, it was like a combination of love, joy, peace, understanding, acceptance, and pure physical ecstasy. I was in awe.
After coming down a bit I realized that during my whole trip, my eyes had been open and my face stuck in a look of awe and amazement. Afterwards I couldn't get the smile off my face for at least 30 minutes.
All in all it was the most powerful and moving experience of my life. Afterwards, I lay in bed for hours trying to understand what I had just been shown. How can I live my life the same way knowing what I know now?
Even now, only 12 hours since my trip, the whole experience feels like "gold dust slipping through your fingers" I wish that I could capture it and hold onto it forever. I need to explore further.
Thank you to everyone on the Nexus. You all gave me the knowledge I needed to have this amazing experience. Thank you so much. I feel like I have finally found my Path.
:thumb_up:
