First Breakthrough-scariest experience of my life

[ccd701]

I'll start off by saying I'm glad I found this forum because I'm hoping some of you can help me understand what I went through. The only psychedelics I'd ever done in my life before DMT was a small amount of mushrooms, so this definitely was a big leap. I'd heard about DMT but I had no idea what hyperspace or anything along those lines were. I did this back in November of last year but haven't posted about it until now. They day before this breakthrough experience, my friend had a very small amount he let me smoke, on top of some weed. That small amount only made everything move, colors appear, and I felt really happy and like I was floating...but I quickly came back "down." I decided take my friend up on an offer and do DMT the next day...

Ok, the next day me and 5 of my friends decided to do DMT. Only a few of them had done a small amount, and never broken through. We had the lights off, low music playing, sitting in a circle, and a few candles lit. Three friends went before me, and they all just saw shapes, things in the room moving around, were smiling, ect. Nothing bad and no breakthrough. I was skeptical, loaded a gravity bong full of a small amount of weed and the rest DMT....my terrible experience starts here:

I pulled the gravity bong, inhaled it all, and it was the harshest grav I've ever taken. It was nothing like a harsh weed grav, I could immediately tell this was different. It hit me in the chest, and I don't even remember exhaling. The Dave Matthews song, "Where are you going" was playing and that's the last thing I remember hearing after I exhaled. All my friends voices in the room warped into one continuous ringing sound that got extremely loud.
Everything in the room went unbelievably pixelated, and swirled into a tunnel that I seemed to be getting sucked into. Then I was in a room, a hospital type room is how I would describe it. I was surrounded by creatures, the most terrifying creatures with huge fangs all staring down at me while I was laying on a metal table/bed. I can't even try to describe what the creatures were, because I still don't know how to describe them with words. At this point I had the most dreadful, hopeless feeling. It was the worst feeling I could had never imagined existed. It was a feeling like I had done something wrong, and I was so deeply sorry, but I could never make up for it. A dominant female figure staring at me from above began to form...I can distinctly remember what she looks like and I have chills just typing this. She had a huge circular face, what was a swirl of black and white, thin red lips, and very squinty eyes. She didn't say anything to me but I felt like she was judging me, and knew me. I felt like she was pure evil but I can't explain why. Suddenly, all the figures disappeared, and while I'm still laying on the metal bed, too many eyes to count all appeared above, me and surrounded me. They were all focused on me and were examining me. I was still so terrified, so scared and hopeless I can't even describe it.

Then all the visuals disappeared and I was flying through blackness...at this point I didn't know why I was here (I forgot I had done DMT). I had an even more intense feeling of dread, hopelessness, and the feeling I had done something wrong. I kept thinking I was dead, and all that existed was my soul now. I didn't even know what a human body was, or how to comprehend that. I then started thinking of my parents and how I was sorry for letting them down, and I saw them standing in front of me. (They are alive-I'm 22 by the way just to clarify) Then I slowly started coming back into my body, I felt like my body was melted, and I couldn't get any words out. It's like I didn't know what to say, or how to form words. I started to seem my friends faces in the room and had no idea who they were, and this thought scared me to death. I thought my mind had been erased, then I thought I was in a coma...I was beyond scared.

Then I remember being scared that I couldn't remember the items on the menu where I work (I'm a server), but that was good! I was coming back, I remembered my name, my job, my friends, everything in my life came flooding back and I was me again. None of my friends knew that I was having a bad experience except for one girl who said I looked terrified, eyes wide open, white face. I was able to regain my voice now and heard her talking to me...I started begging her to keep talking. I felt like her voice was pulling me back to "the real world." I was seeing the scariest things again, but in the room. Everyone had huge fangs, and there was a cat in the room that had huge fangs. Tears started rolling down my face, and I begged everyone not to do DMT again. All I could say was, "Y'all don't understand what just happened." I eventually talked in through with the girl that pulled me back to reality, and just talking about it made me feel better. I didn't sleep that night, and I was pretty scared of the dark for a while after but I'm ok now. It was really traumatic and I didn't think I'd ever be the same but I'm happy to say I can tell this story and even smile about it now. I appreciate the world I live in and the people in my life more...so that is a positive.

Later that night my friend had an experience just as bad as me...I tried to warn him but he wanted to break through. He did, and I hate he had to experience it also but at least he understands what I went through so everyone didn't think I was crazy. But his story is a story for another time...

Anyway, I'm glad I finally typed this out, because I've been meaning to. Has anyone had an experience like this? I don't think I will ever do DMT again, I just can't risk going where I went before. I'm also afraid I could go somewhere even worse, and I just can't deal with the thought of it.

 

[WitchOfNottingham]

Well ccd701, is there anything you have done to someone, a female in your past, who would feel justified in punishing you or having you punished?

There are certain people with guilt on their conscious who I would not suggest tamper with DMT.

For everyone else I would suggest doing an old fashioned circle of protection before you take it.

 

[ccd701]

Well ccd701, is there anything you have done to someone, a female in your past, who would feel justified in punishing you or having you punished?

There are certain people with guilt on their conscious who I would not suggest tamper with DMT.

For everyone else I would suggest doing an old fashioned circle of protection before you take it.

I can honestly say no, I can't think of one person that hates me. I've always tried to be nice to everyone, and people see me as the happiest person ever. I've been thinking though, I never tell anyone my problems, I do tend to bottle things up and keep smiling. I'm thinking this may have triggered the experience.

 

[3rdI]

hello ccd701,

sounds like a pretty scary time you had, im glad your back to normal now.

you might want to edit your post as there is no talk of buying/selling DMT here at the Nexus.

also did you weigh your dose?

 

[ccd701]

hello ccd701,

sounds like a pretty scary time you had, im glad your back to normal now.

you might want to edit your post as there is no talk of buying/selling DMT here at the Nexus.

also did you weigh your dose?

No I didn't weigh it and I honestly don't have much experience with DMT so I can't even guess how much it was. It was not an abnormally large amount. It was enough to fill up a medium sized gravity bong cap though. I edited my post also, thanks for telling me...that makes sense!

 

[3rdI]

thanks for the edit, you might want to have a read through the attitude section to see how the forum is run also the FAQ and wiki are a hive of knowledge and info about all things DMT.

It sounds like a very large dose you smoalked and that is more than likely the reason it all went a bit south. I would advise that that a milligram scale is the way to go. It also sounds like you burnt your DMT as it should be smooth when vaped properly.

i know you said you dont think you will try DMT again but i think that if you lower your dose and try again you will get a very different impression, maybe start with 15mg and move up in 5mg increments. Many members have a full on breakthrough at 25mg which is considerably less than a bowl full.

Oh and welcome to the Nexus

 

[DoingKermit]

Hi ccd701. Sorry to hear about your traumatic experience. It seems like you did get something positive from it by "appreciating the world we live in and the people in your life more" as you put it. Sometimes the bad experiences are the ones we learn from the most and can grow from the most too.

3rdI,

I do somewhat agree with your advice about trying lower doses, but then again sometimes DMT just doesn't agree with some people. There are plenty of other entheogens out there that can teach us about the world and ourselves. DMT is the ultimate "teacher" in my book, but can sometimes be the most confusing as well IMO. Just thought i'd throw that out there

Lots o' love,

DK

 

[genocide_1986]

Sorry to hear about your bad experience, was you with anybody else who was experienced In having it? What was your set and setting? It's always good to have someone experienced to re assure you everything will be ok I find, even if your deep in hyperspace if someone is looking a bit pale I always speak to them and tell them it's just a trip embrace it, it will be over in ten mins or so.

I always find the music that is on at the time helps smoothen out the trip, I personally prefer psytrance whilst in hyperspace.
I did try dmt once without music and it wasn't as pleasant it seemed a bit freaky ( but that's just me)

 

[3rdI]

3rdI,

I do somewhat agree with your advice about trying lower doses, but then again sometimes DMT just doesn't agree with some people. There are plenty of other entheogens out there that can teach us about the world and ourselves. DMT is the ultimate "teacher" in my book, but can sometimes be the most confusing as well IMO. Just thought i'd throw that out there

Lots o' love,

DK

hello DK,

your statement is very true, i just wouldnt want someone to be put off from a single overly high dose experience.

 

[○]

Big unmeasured dose + bong = more than likely an overly intense experience. It happens brotha. You took a big dose not knowing, you got scared due to the abrupt intensity, which I can guarantee thats why you saw/experienced what you did. The feelings you described of "despair" and being dead are very common, especially with how you administered.

Work your way up, and buy a scale as suggested. If you would have prepared yourself a little better I guarantee the experience wouldn't have been as malicious as you led it out to be. :thumb_up: As it's been said many times...this stuff is no joke. Be careful and tread cautiously, the waters are extraordinarily deep and unfathomable. It can take you to the most heavenly of heavenly while on the same token take you to the most horrendously nightmarish of realms. It's a roll of the dice.

Get used to the intensity (or try to over time), the gripping strength of the experience, learn to meditate therefore help cease thoughts/thought patterns, learn to let go of everything including every last shred of what you thought you were, integrate, integrate, integrate and integrate....and move on.

Much love,

Tat Tvam Asi.

 

[ccd701]

Thanks for all the replies everybody,

I think I've had my fair share of DMT experience for a while. Reading about everyones amazing experiences is interesting, and I can completely understand them after going through this bad trip. I imagine it's a feeling completely opposite of what I went through. Looking back I don't think I was mentally prepared, because there are some bad things I've dealt with that I don't tell many people about. I think it would have helped to talk to someone who had broken through into hyperspace before also. Again, I appreciate all the positive threads on here and I'll continue to read because I've been fascinated with "where I went" ever since it happened.

 

[ccd701]

Sorry to hear about your bad experience, was you with anybody else who was experienced In having it? What was your set and setting? It's always good to have someone experienced to re assure you everything will be ok I find, even if your deep in hyperspace if someone is looking a bit pale I always speak to them and tell them it's just a trip embrace it, it will be over in ten mins or so.

I always find the music that is on at the time helps smoothen out the trip, I personally prefer psytrance whilst in hyperspace.
I did try dmt once without music and it wasn't as pleasant it seemed a bit freaky ( but that's just me)

I wan't with anyone that was experienced. My friend who had done a small amount actually told me it was impossible to have a bad experience with DMT. I didn't really believe him because I had read about near death experiences with DMT but didn't understand what that actually meant until I broke through and thought I had died. The setting was alright I thought, 6 close friends, low music and candles...I still find it freaky to this day that "where are you going" by Dave Matthews was playing. I get chills anytime I hear that song now. I don't necessarily dislike the song now, but it has a much deeper meaning to me than before.

 

[GroundSound]

Then I was in a room, a hospital type room is how I would describe it. I was surrounded by creatures, the most terrifying creatures with huge fangs all staring down at me while I was laying on a metal table/bed.

I have read other trip reports saying they have been on a metal type bed in a hospital looking up at creatures "experimenting" on them or what not.

What could this mean?! how is it possible that more than one person has had the same visions specifically?? :shock:

 

[ccd701]

Then I was in a room, a hospital type room is how I would describe it. I was surrounded by creatures, the most terrifying creatures with huge fangs all staring down at me while I was laying on a metal table/bed.

I have read other trip reports saying they have been on a metal type bed in a hospital looking up at creatures "experimenting" on them or what not.

What could this mean?! how is it possible that more than one person has had the same visions specifically?? :shock:

That's definitely the feeling I had...I felt like the creatures were there to harm me somehow. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one to experience this. It really is puzzling, and I want to know the answer to who the creatures, or entities were. If I have to do DMT to figure out that answer though I'm not sure I will. I would be interested in talking to other people who have had a trip like this though.

 

[GroundSound]

Then I was in a room, a hospital type room is how I would describe it. I was surrounded by creatures, the most terrifying creatures with huge fangs all staring down at me while I was laying on a metal table/bed.

I have read other trip reports saying they have been on a metal type bed in a hospital looking up at creatures "experimenting" on them or what not.

What could this mean?! how is it possible that more than one person has had the same visions specifically?? :shock:

That's definitely the feeling I had...I felt like the creatures were there to harm me somehow. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one to experience this. It really is puzzling, and I want to know the answer to who the creatures, or entities were. If I have to do DMT to figure out that answer though I'm not sure I will. I would be interested in talking to other people who have had a trip like this though.

This really intrigues me, because so many people have same visions and experiences as others, seeing entities, experiencing the same phenomenon in hyperspace.. it really makes me wonder about the true secret of this molecule and what separates it from other psychedelics.

 

[The Observer]

Just my opinion, but it sounds like you are taking dmt in a party setting for recreation.

I think, based on your post, you have experienced enuf to realize dmt is an incredibly potent medicine, not a recreational drug, as such. Pleasureable perhaps, depending on the experience, but recreational, not....

My absolute most profound experiences in hyperspace have been while "alone, in silent darkness".

No sitter, just my pooch.......who stays absolutely quiet, at my feet.

Just sayin

IMO

 

[ccd701]

Just my opinion, but it sounds like you are taking dmt in a party setting for recreation.

I think, based on your post, you have experienced enuf to realize dmt is an incredibly potent medicine, not a recreational drug, as such. Pleasureable perhaps, depending on the experience, but recreational, not....

My absolute most profound experiences in hyperspace have been while "alone, in silent darkness".

No sitter, just my pooch.......who stays absolutely quiet, at my feet.

Just sayin

IMO

I think you're partially right, but then again part of me thinks it wouldn't matter where I was or what setting I was in because immediately when I inhaled, I was gone.

 

[WitchOfNottingham]

I have read other trip reports saying they have been on a metal type bed in a hospital looking up at creatures "experimenting" on them or what not.

Yeah I've had that more than a few times, without the DMT. This is why people think 'aliens' are abducting them for experiments. In my case the astral surgeons were 'fixing' me because I had issues with depression. I've been cut open and woke up to see black stitches dissolve into my stomach. I've had them give me strong 'zaps' of serotonin into my brain and I almost thought I couldn't take it. Was great to wake up without that black cloud hanging over me though.

It could have been in your terror you perceived them as evil. Or maybe they did do something bad to you, if you strongly felt that they did. My advice, if you don't know how to meditate and go through your own aura looking for attachments and blockages, would be to go to someone with astral sight who does energy work who can test you for attachments and blockages. I can almost always find them in my own aura if I've been under astral attack and remove them myself. For the next several days you should do a salt water bath followed by a shower, just to be sure. Moving water and salt removes these things. If you have access to the ocean that would be best. Follow that up by burning sage or bay. Or both. Circling your body with the smoke.

And again, circle of protection before you do DMT.

Was your abuser a female? Maybe the DMT was taking you to a place to re-experience it so you could confront the experience. Females abuse children more than anyone wants to know.

 

[Metanoia]

That whole bit about leering, scary faces and a female presence really reminded me of some overdoses of Salvia extract I've done and read about Some people think DMT is more friendly, but in reality it can feel just as malevolent when treated in the same inexperienced manner.

The way you describe the females face in particular made me think of "Lady Salvia". Just reinforces my conviction that both Salvia and DMT bring you to some of the same places.

Then I was in a room, a hospital type room is how I would describe it. I was surrounded by creatures, the most terrifying creatures with huge fangs all staring down at me while I was laying on a metal table/bed.

I have read other trip reports saying they have been on a metal type bed in a hospital looking up at creatures "experimenting" on them or what not.

What could this mean?! how is it possible that more than one person has had the same visions specifically?? :shock:

That's definitely the feeling I had...I felt like the creatures were there to harm me somehow. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one to experience this. It really is puzzling, and I want to know the answer to who the creatures, or entities were. If I have to do DMT to figure out that answer though I'm not sure I will. I would be interested in talking to other people who have had a trip like this though.

This really intrigues me, because so many people have same visions and experiences as others, seeing entities, experiencing the same phenomenon in hyperspace.. it really makes me wonder about the true secret of this molecule and what separates it from other psychedelics.

If you read Salvia trip reports it's unbelievable how many people see the same things. With DMT maybe it's less common, but Salvia it's very eerie. People who live half a world away from each other and have very different lives and experiences seeing THE EXACT same things after smoking some Salvia. So bizarre, and immensely fascinating. The common thread is there with DMT as well, but I think there's something very interesting going on with Salvia if so many people are experiencing the same things, down to minute details.

Sorry for the off topic, but I couldn't help myself

 

[ccd701]

I have read other trip reports saying they have been on a metal type bed in a hospital looking up at creatures "experimenting" on them or what not.

Was your abuser a female? Maybe the DMT was taking you to a place to re-experience it so you could confront the experience. Females abuse children more than anyone wants to know.

I've never been abused by anyone...not sure where you got that from.