First DMT experience - Not at all what I expected

[travis]

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Calm and serene. Approaching the experience with humility and spirituality.
(physical condition) Set: Normal
Setting (location): My home, alone, with dim ambient light and some chill mellow ambient music.
time of day: Night, around 22pm.
recent drug use: 450ug LSD one month ago.
last meal: 1-2 hours before, some tomatoes with bread and cheese.

PARTICIPANT
Gender: Male
body weight: 70kg
known sensitivities: Not very sensitive to psychedelics/drugs, and have a hard time getting OEV/CEV.
history of use: First time trying DMT.


BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Freebase DMT, extracted by me from MHRB.
Dose(s): around 15mg, but my scale is not very good, so it could be 20mg or maybe less than 15mg.
Method of administration: E-mesh


EFFECTS
Duration: Around 5 minutes from start to finish, but didn't check the clock, so I'm just assuming.
Intensity (overall): 3 = "Quite a bit;"
Evaluation / notes: Very intense, but definitely felt it can be way more intense.

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 0
Implesantness: 3
Visual Intensity: 0


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0 - One moment I was so scared, the next moment I was cleaning my teeth.
Afterglow: 1 - Laughing for a bit at how scary everything was and how hard it is to put words to the experience.


REPORT
After a successful MHRB extraction, I decided Today was going to be the day to try DMT. I had my home for myself since my wife was out, so I did a little ceremony to set an intention and humble myself for the experience I would have. Hoping for healing and insight.

After following your advice, I decided to start slow and only dip my toes into the hyperspace, so the plan was to take 10mg using an emesh and decide if I would take a bigger dose later. My scale sucks so much and with so little spice required, I ended up loading the mesh with what I guess were around 15mg instead, but maybe it was more.

I took one hit on the e-mesh, put it on the table, and laid myself on the sofa. I heard the DMT train sound coming to pick me up, as I've read plenty of times. I thought with a low dose, I'd have some nice colors, some fractals, and a pleasant sort of chill experience, but instead, I did not experience any colors, only mild fractals and I was instead sooo scared going on the train to hyperspace. I was very scared, but also calm, wishing for some entity or god to send me some good vibes or the welcoming feeling I've read many times, to help me combat the fear. Nothing happened, I spent what felt like 2 to 5 minutes, very scared of my mind getting lost in some interdimensional realm, outside of time and space, getting tortured for a thousand years outside my control (while always knowing I was in my sofa at home).

I had some very mild visuals, with no colors, with some fractals similar to the ones I see with other psychedelics, but I have a hard time getting any visuals at all with LSD/Mushrooms. I need high doses and weed, or I get very little to no CEV.

The experience being so intense and frightening has not been a surprise, since all of you have written it so many times. What surprised me the most was how intense and frightening it has been, when I feel I just went around two stops on the DMT train, still very far from hyperspace. Clearly I was not on the first stop, since I was far enough to feel very far from home, and I could not even hear the ambient music anymore. But I was not that far, since I was in a void with nothing. Hence the 2 stops.

After the trip I laughed a lot, thinking how scared I was. I was not sure when I would muster the strenght to try DMT again. Now, hours later, I really want to go again and challenge myself, but I'll take it slow, there's no rush.

There's something that sort of bothers me though, and I'd like insights from those more experienced than me.
I approached this experience in a humble and spiritual way. I did a little ceremony, where I wrote a page full of my intentions, and sort of expected to use the molecule as a medicine to gather insights. Instead, I've been in a scary void full of fear, and I feel I should instead approach hyperspace in a more adventurous and brave way, going to face the unknown and discover other realities, since there's been nothing not even remotely close to spiritual or positive in my first experience. Sometimes with LSD or mushrooms, I don't get spirituality or anything good at the moment either, or I get shunned down and I clearly see that I did not do something right, my intentions were wrong, or it was not the correct moment, set or setting. I did not feel anything like this Today. I just felt insanity and felt how this insanity can be scary.

Any insights?

Thank you people, you're the best forum ever!

 

[Phenethylamine23]

Thanks for sharing your trip report.
I see your taking the cautious approach by starting your journey on small amount and slowly increasing the dose, going deeper.
That is responsible trodding the path and I applaud you.
Congratulations on successfull extraction of Mimosa Hostilis root bark. Quite an accomplishment in itself.
For me about 75mg DMT is breakthrough/flood dose. Where your mind loose control and the experience becomes overpowering.
Yes it's about bravery and courage in exploring the hyperdimensions.
The DMT realm/space will become more comfortable and familure in time, and as you journey deeper.

 

[0Kelvin]

Thanks for sharing and welcome back from your first journey!

To me it seems like you did everything right in terms of preparation. Set and setting seemed to have been ideal. DMT is like a box full of surprises. Each time you reach in you'll likely get something that you didn't expect to find in there. At least that's my experience and I think many other feel similar.

Don't allow this experience to discourage you. The next time you go in, you might be given exactly what you need (even on the same dose!)... this experience, even if it wasn't very pleasant, might have shown you something, which will take time to unfold, make sense and which you'll benefit from in the long run.
I had challenging experiences that only really started to make sense weeks later.

There's one suggestion I'd like to add. Have you looked into adding harmalas? To me changa has got a very different character compared to DMT on it's own. The welcoming aspect you mentioned for example really stood out to me once I added harmalas.

Wish you all the best for future travels!

 

[brokedownpalace10]

I am new to this myself and am also scared of breakthough doses. I have gone a bit further than you, just not to breakthrough.

Many of the experiences have indeed been accompanied by fear. DMT also does not seem to be euphoric like other psychedelics can be. However, I do feel a kind of positive afterglow lasting for days/weeks. Almost seems as if a wrench has been taken to my head and some things have been fixed. Also, I am more comfortable (sometimes ) with moderate levels now.

Harmalas seem, to me, to make it much more serious and thus ultimately fruitful.

Where I am in my life, all this in less than an hour and a sandwich after is exactly what I need. Someone on here once said that DMT won't give you what you want as much as what you need.

Anyway, I'll guess you should just keep on trucking at present speed until you relax a bit Flight/fright will usually lessen with repeated exposure, but I'll bet some is the nature of the beast.

 

[Exitwound]

Pre-trip anxiety is very common with DMT and I found low doses to be sometimes more challenging, because you are partly here partly there and if scared might start trying to resist the experience, which is contradictory to the initial act of smoking it (did you smoke to resist? ) thus inducing all the discomfort.

My advice is go for larger doses (22-30mg), so it shoots you past the "i think i can still resist this" phase.

Also if you want more grounding, pick music with good rhythm, like trance or techno if that's your thing, this way you will hear drum beat even during deepest dives, DMT doesn't affect hearing as much as visual/other sensory part, so the drum reminds you that you have smoked DMT and it will be over soon. Typical psytrance track is exactly around DMT trip lenght 6-8 minutes, so you will be surprised just how much it can change trip and guide you through it.

But ultimately you must be at terms with anything happening to you, if you truely want to let go.
Insanity trips are not pleasant for the most, but if you are dancing with the molecule, that's one of the aspects it can show you.

 

[ricardo420]

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