After countless hours of McKenna lectures, TED talks, JRE snippets, books, articles, reports and stories of the peculiar spirit contained within the mushroom, I finally found myself before that monumental pillar of knowledge, and in the shadow of its cap of eternal wisdom and healing.
The strain was Golden Teachers, which I cultivated and harvested myself. The amount was approximately 5 dried grams, which were sitting in a tightly sealed jar in my fridge for around 5-6 months. After careful research of the most suitable method of preparation, I settled on Dreamer042 Juice Tek Mod <=> Lemon + Grapefruit Juice Potentiation [tek]. I did so because I thought the mushrooms would've lost some of their potency, as many people reported this happening when they stored the fruit bodies for longer periods of time.
Just in case they had lost a lot of their potency, I took around 150mg harmala freebase with me as well. I got up early in the morning, had a healthy breakfast, prepared the juice, packed my huge bag with my hammock and everything else I might need and headed off to the area above a nearby village where I was a couple of days prior looking for good spots for a trip. Thankfully I was able to find a fantastic place to hang my hammock, where I could marvel at the autumn beauty of our Mother, as seen in the attached picture.
At around 11 am I drank the entire jar of juice (approx. 700ml of liquid) and settled in for the ride. I started feeling the first effects after 20 minutes, but it took a while to really get going. At around 11:45 I was fully in.
As I was laying in my hammock, two big branches of the trees that supported my weight were spread right above me. They had only but a handful of beautiful leaves left on, and I could see the azure, crystal clear sky above. A few times I felt a very high pitched sound come in from my left ear, pass through my skull and disappear. As it was developing, it evolved into what resembled those wind chimes people often have on their porches. It was a very pleasant sound.
When a leaf detached from one of the branches above, as it fell down it left a visible trace of pure energy that was still connected to the branch. When I looked for longer, the branches appeared to move in a way that looked like spreading. Almost like hands that have many fingers with colorful leaves on them, stretching and expanding, almost breathing above me. It was mesmerizing.
And when I looked at the mountains with all these colorful trees, they all looked like a gigantic weird snail of some sort, with billions of different colors on it, slowly breathing and crawling in every direction at the same time.
When I focused on the naked part of the hill I closed my eyes and I started flying towards that ridge. The valleys below me were filled with life. All kinds of animals lived there, and as I was approaching the hillside I could see the colorful slug below me breathing in excitement. I flew over the ridge and it seemed like my altitude increased tremendously, as I could see the entire globe spinning below me as I flew forward. Vast areas of land shifted and passed below me, and I soared free and truly immortal. Then I snapped back to my hammock because of rising stomach discomfort that grounded me to this reality, but more on that a bit later.
At a certain moment, a fat bumblebee flew just above my face, and I closed my eyes and transported my entire consciousness and energy to that little, beautiful creature. I felt how I perched myself on its head, and I was kind of riding it, but at the same time it felt that I was in its head, and in a sense - I was it. We flew above trees and bushes, above cattle and humans, around the pine forest and above the valleys. It was shortlived but phenomenal. Then I snapped back to my hammock again, because the discomfort was getting stronger.
It seemed that when I closed my eyes, I was presented with a choice of visuals. If I chose to focus on something from my immediate surroundings, like that hill in the distance, or that bumblebee, I could do amazing things with them. If I chose to just look at the back of my eyelids, I was transported in a geometrically impossible realm. The dim reddish light that was passing through the skin of my eyelids was saturated with geometrical patterns that I could not comprehend. Vast pillars of light would shatter and reorganize into beautiful matrices that slowly spun into a spiral kaleidoscope of shapes that were perfectly symmetrical and chaotically asymmetrical at the same time. Sadly I couldn't keep my eyes closed for too long, because it started feeling like I was falling, and this only worsened the discomfort that was on a dramatic rise.
I was expecting some bodily discomfort, but I didn't expect that it would come crashing on me with such force... It kept getting worse and worse, and nausea made its way into my being with full force. I could feel my stomach very upset. I was bloated. I knew I had to purge at some moment, but I didn't want to because I really dislike the feeling of vomiting. Some people seem to not mind it that much, but I hate it with a passion...
The thing with my purge was that I usually made a lot of noise while doing so. I've never been the quiet type of puker :d And there were a lot of people passing on the nearby road on their way to the infamous "Black Peak" summit which soared some ~1000m above where I was. I didn't want to attract any attention by vomiting loudly and have people come to me asking me if I'm fine while I was tripping balls, so I climbed a bit higher and hid in the nearby pine forest where nobody could see me. After 10 minutes of hesitation, I felt I really need to get this thing out of me, so I forced a purge, and it was powerful. All the juice that was in my stomach came out violently, and when I was finished I did feel better.
Coming back to my hammock, I hoped that the nausea would settle down and allow me to dive back into the profound experience I had earlier. It didn't. After around 30-40 minutes of struggling, I decided I'm doing a second purge. This time it was very, very unpleasant. Pretty much only stomach juices came out, nothing else. And it wasn't an easy purge...it was violent and almost painful. Tears were flowing out of my eyes from all the straining. And I felt even worse after it, instead of better. All the visuals were completely and utterly gone. I was left only with the feeling of sickness.
More and more people were passing by, making noise and whatnot, and I decided I'm packing my hammock and I'm taking off. It was around this time when I started feeling really unwell. It wasn't just nausea and stomach discomfort, but now I started getting heat waves. Sweat started pouring down my body and face. When I was in the sun, it was too hot. When I hid in the shadows, it was too cold. Breathing became weird. A bit later I started feeling pain from my kidney or some organ near it.
It would be an overstatement to say I started panicking, but it would be a lie if I said I didn't start fearing some organ failure or a similar type of emergency situation where I would need medical assistance. For that reason, I took one diazepam pill to kill the trip completely in case I needed to interact with people and seek medical help.
Around 40 minutes passed while I carefully monitored my body's response and sensations to determine if any action was needed, but it seemed to be getting better. An hour later I was feeling stable again, and was even enjoying the walk I was having on that forest path you can see on the second attached pic.
Normally in similar situations, I try to avoid any and all social interaction, regardless if live or on my phone. But in this case, I noticed that having the occasional "Hello" or "Good day" exchanged with other people taking a hike on this path made me feel better. Something about being among people in this exact moment gave me comfort, and that was, honestly, a new sensation to me!
I kept feeling slight nausea and stomach discomfort the entire day until I went to sleep.
If I could take away all nausea from this experience, I would easily rank it as my most beautiful psychedelic experience ever. I've never felt such a strong, overwhelming connection with the planet. I felt so much a part of it... Profound emotions of deep empathy and understanding were constantly present. I had love for everyone and everything. But unfortunately, at some point the overwhelming negative physical effects became so strong that I couldn't even focus on anything else but them...
I don't know if something in the mushrooms was wrong, or in my method of preparation (even though I followed dreamer's tek by the step), or in the way my body dealt with what I gave it, but honestly if I knew mushrooms were like that every time, I wouldn't do them ever again. The beautiful spiritual experience just doesn't outweigh the way my body responded.
This was yesterday, and today I felt very good. I have muscle pain here and there from all the violent wretching that went on, but I feel like this experience gave me something. It gave me some sort of comforting harmony that I can't really explain, but I can definitely feel and acknowledge.
Maybe fresh mushrooms are my thing, or maybe a different strain...for now, I remain humbled and respectful, regardless of the torture I went through. I guess every truly spiritual experience has its price...
I'd love to hear your input and opinions on this. Has anyone had a similar experience? Am I missing some important factor that would change my physical response to the mushroom for the better?
With love,
Nydex
The strain was Golden Teachers, which I cultivated and harvested myself. The amount was approximately 5 dried grams, which were sitting in a tightly sealed jar in my fridge for around 5-6 months. After careful research of the most suitable method of preparation, I settled on Dreamer042 Juice Tek Mod <=> Lemon + Grapefruit Juice Potentiation [tek]. I did so because I thought the mushrooms would've lost some of their potency, as many people reported this happening when they stored the fruit bodies for longer periods of time.
Just in case they had lost a lot of their potency, I took around 150mg harmala freebase with me as well. I got up early in the morning, had a healthy breakfast, prepared the juice, packed my huge bag with my hammock and everything else I might need and headed off to the area above a nearby village where I was a couple of days prior looking for good spots for a trip. Thankfully I was able to find a fantastic place to hang my hammock, where I could marvel at the autumn beauty of our Mother, as seen in the attached picture.
At around 11 am I drank the entire jar of juice (approx. 700ml of liquid) and settled in for the ride. I started feeling the first effects after 20 minutes, but it took a while to really get going. At around 11:45 I was fully in.
As I was laying in my hammock, two big branches of the trees that supported my weight were spread right above me. They had only but a handful of beautiful leaves left on, and I could see the azure, crystal clear sky above. A few times I felt a very high pitched sound come in from my left ear, pass through my skull and disappear. As it was developing, it evolved into what resembled those wind chimes people often have on their porches. It was a very pleasant sound.
When a leaf detached from one of the branches above, as it fell down it left a visible trace of pure energy that was still connected to the branch. When I looked for longer, the branches appeared to move in a way that looked like spreading. Almost like hands that have many fingers with colorful leaves on them, stretching and expanding, almost breathing above me. It was mesmerizing.
And when I looked at the mountains with all these colorful trees, they all looked like a gigantic weird snail of some sort, with billions of different colors on it, slowly breathing and crawling in every direction at the same time.
When I focused on the naked part of the hill I closed my eyes and I started flying towards that ridge. The valleys below me were filled with life. All kinds of animals lived there, and as I was approaching the hillside I could see the colorful slug below me breathing in excitement. I flew over the ridge and it seemed like my altitude increased tremendously, as I could see the entire globe spinning below me as I flew forward. Vast areas of land shifted and passed below me, and I soared free and truly immortal. Then I snapped back to my hammock because of rising stomach discomfort that grounded me to this reality, but more on that a bit later.
At a certain moment, a fat bumblebee flew just above my face, and I closed my eyes and transported my entire consciousness and energy to that little, beautiful creature. I felt how I perched myself on its head, and I was kind of riding it, but at the same time it felt that I was in its head, and in a sense - I was it. We flew above trees and bushes, above cattle and humans, around the pine forest and above the valleys. It was shortlived but phenomenal. Then I snapped back to my hammock again, because the discomfort was getting stronger.
It seemed that when I closed my eyes, I was presented with a choice of visuals. If I chose to focus on something from my immediate surroundings, like that hill in the distance, or that bumblebee, I could do amazing things with them. If I chose to just look at the back of my eyelids, I was transported in a geometrically impossible realm. The dim reddish light that was passing through the skin of my eyelids was saturated with geometrical patterns that I could not comprehend. Vast pillars of light would shatter and reorganize into beautiful matrices that slowly spun into a spiral kaleidoscope of shapes that were perfectly symmetrical and chaotically asymmetrical at the same time. Sadly I couldn't keep my eyes closed for too long, because it started feeling like I was falling, and this only worsened the discomfort that was on a dramatic rise.
I was expecting some bodily discomfort, but I didn't expect that it would come crashing on me with such force... It kept getting worse and worse, and nausea made its way into my being with full force. I could feel my stomach very upset. I was bloated. I knew I had to purge at some moment, but I didn't want to because I really dislike the feeling of vomiting. Some people seem to not mind it that much, but I hate it with a passion...
The thing with my purge was that I usually made a lot of noise while doing so. I've never been the quiet type of puker :d And there were a lot of people passing on the nearby road on their way to the infamous "Black Peak" summit which soared some ~1000m above where I was. I didn't want to attract any attention by vomiting loudly and have people come to me asking me if I'm fine while I was tripping balls, so I climbed a bit higher and hid in the nearby pine forest where nobody could see me. After 10 minutes of hesitation, I felt I really need to get this thing out of me, so I forced a purge, and it was powerful. All the juice that was in my stomach came out violently, and when I was finished I did feel better.
Coming back to my hammock, I hoped that the nausea would settle down and allow me to dive back into the profound experience I had earlier. It didn't. After around 30-40 minutes of struggling, I decided I'm doing a second purge. This time it was very, very unpleasant. Pretty much only stomach juices came out, nothing else. And it wasn't an easy purge...it was violent and almost painful. Tears were flowing out of my eyes from all the straining. And I felt even worse after it, instead of better. All the visuals were completely and utterly gone. I was left only with the feeling of sickness.
More and more people were passing by, making noise and whatnot, and I decided I'm packing my hammock and I'm taking off. It was around this time when I started feeling really unwell. It wasn't just nausea and stomach discomfort, but now I started getting heat waves. Sweat started pouring down my body and face. When I was in the sun, it was too hot. When I hid in the shadows, it was too cold. Breathing became weird. A bit later I started feeling pain from my kidney or some organ near it.
It would be an overstatement to say I started panicking, but it would be a lie if I said I didn't start fearing some organ failure or a similar type of emergency situation where I would need medical assistance. For that reason, I took one diazepam pill to kill the trip completely in case I needed to interact with people and seek medical help.
Around 40 minutes passed while I carefully monitored my body's response and sensations to determine if any action was needed, but it seemed to be getting better. An hour later I was feeling stable again, and was even enjoying the walk I was having on that forest path you can see on the second attached pic.
Normally in similar situations, I try to avoid any and all social interaction, regardless if live or on my phone. But in this case, I noticed that having the occasional "Hello" or "Good day" exchanged with other people taking a hike on this path made me feel better. Something about being among people in this exact moment gave me comfort, and that was, honestly, a new sensation to me!
I kept feeling slight nausea and stomach discomfort the entire day until I went to sleep.
If I could take away all nausea from this experience, I would easily rank it as my most beautiful psychedelic experience ever. I've never felt such a strong, overwhelming connection with the planet. I felt so much a part of it... Profound emotions of deep empathy and understanding were constantly present. I had love for everyone and everything. But unfortunately, at some point the overwhelming negative physical effects became so strong that I couldn't even focus on anything else but them...
I don't know if something in the mushrooms was wrong, or in my method of preparation (even though I followed dreamer's tek by the step), or in the way my body dealt with what I gave it, but honestly if I knew mushrooms were like that every time, I wouldn't do them ever again. The beautiful spiritual experience just doesn't outweigh the way my body responded.
This was yesterday, and today I felt very good. I have muscle pain here and there from all the violent wretching that went on, but I feel like this experience gave me something. It gave me some sort of comforting harmony that I can't really explain, but I can definitely feel and acknowledge.
Maybe fresh mushrooms are my thing, or maybe a different strain...for now, I remain humbled and respectful, regardless of the torture I went through. I guess every truly spiritual experience has its price...
I'd love to hear your input and opinions on this. Has anyone had a similar experience? Am I missing some important factor that would change my physical response to the mushroom for the better?
With love,
Nydex
