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first experience - a "talking mandala"

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humility

humility

Rising Star
Hi All,

This is my first post and am glad to be here. I wanted to share my first DMT experience with you in hopes of eliciting some feedback. Without further ado...

I had to lay down. I was engulfed. I lost consciousness. Everything was dark but then I quickly saw a glowing mandala (like you see in Buddhist philosophy) in my field of vision. It started talking to me.

"Let go..." it said.

"No. I don't want to die."

"Let go...."

"No. I don't trust you."

"Let go..." it continued as I was fighting frantically to stay alive and not let go. I did NOT trust this talking mandala telling me to let go.

"Why aren't you here all the time [why do I have to ingest DMT in order to see you]?"

"I am [here all the time]..."

There was then a snap in consciousness (I thought I had died) but woke up instead.

Thoughts anybody? Is this a process everyone has to go through? Do we all have to "let go" in order to move forward in the journey?

Thanks much!
 
humility said:
...Thoughts anybody? Is this a process everyone has to go through? Do we all have to "let go" in order to move forward in the journey?

Thanks much!
Click to expand...
Yes, I think letting go is the key. It's not easy when you're in an unfamiliar realm and your conscious mind/ego is desperate to hold on, but like with any psychedelic experience surrendering to the flow seems to be the way to enlightenment. It can feel like imminent death, but I find that the only way forward is through surrender. It's helpful for me to remind myself that no physical harm will come of the experience. I don't always believe myself but 'you're gonna be fine' has become a sort of mantra. Fighting with it just makes the experience uncomfortable and prevents me from getting through the doors to infinity.

-JM
 
Did it seem to imply anything besides let go? Any understanding? I am interested in this because the Very first time I smoked DMT, The first time I broke through, I came up on this mandala, but it didn't talk in words. I like to maybe call it a hyper chrysanthemum. I broke through 5 of these mandala veils, that came to infinity at the center, it spoke in an instant, a total understanding that spanned the entire spectrum of my life. My entire life, summed up in an instant, and then some. All it said to me was "Do you see?" and the only jaw smashing the floor response could be "YYYYEEESSSSS I SEEEEEEEEEE" and it would TAKE OFF into another spiral mandala veil spinning down slowly to a perfect stand still as another perfect clarity of hypercomplex of visually matierlized lifes work of understanding "Do you See!@?" I had packed 4 bowls of snow white spice, liberal bowls, each hit didnt to much until the 4th time I hit the black gunk as a voice came on after turning out the lights "hit the black gunk, trust me" and I said what the hell, its late, but might as well... I did...

And all 4 bowls hit me at once, in an instant, just like that... It was so powerful, I didn't have a chance to hold on to anything. It was just, wham pure transcendance in an instant. So, if you think you can, maybe load up an extraordinary dose, and take it all as quick as possible so you have no time to ask what to hold onto with the intent going into it clear in your mind, Just GO. Be FREE. LET GO. Take its word, and try it, but give it so much back, that you won't have a chance to not let go. whatever part of you that does hold on, as long as you remember "LET GO" hopefully you will let that part go before it breaks you in that instant, either way, you will be gone, and maybe get what you neeD? I don't know, maybe don't take that advice, either way, letting go is the best, and if you have to... well... Work on it. Live live, what do you want... clarify yourself, take it easy. Im going to stop ranting, But I like your story. The best thing you could do is find a way to be comfortable, and positive you have taken the step you know you need to take, ie: take the advice that has been given to you from Your own direct experience of It. Good Luck <3
 
haha..:lol:

swim thinks letting go or surrendering would ease the process of being sent out further as you are more relaxed.
it may be hard but swim also thinks sometime if letting go doesnt get you to break through, swim always
remembers terence mckenna's saying.. "if you take a psychedelic and youre not afraid you did too much, you didnt do enough"
 
Welcome Humility , letting go isnt so easy sometimes, perhaps some meditation beforehand to get you in the right head space?

Clouds, I think it would be great if you did animations for all the newcomers first time trip reports, sort of your own nexus welcome - it really adds to the post!!!

- that was great , good fun :d
 
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