First Experience ETA 2 hours

[TJ]

Hello.
I'm TJ, I'm a fiction writer and philosophy of mind student in his late 20s.
I plan to have my first spice experience tonight. I'd heard of it through a French film, Enter the Void, and recently received some from a friend as thanks for cooking him Christmas dinner  I have no hallucinogen experience, but am familiar with other things.

I've done my research (unlike, I think, my friend, who recommended a light bulb method). I don't know yet whether I'll involve a friend in my first time, but I have a setting in mind, and I plan to construct some form of the machine. I have a thick metal pan scrubber at home that I think will fit the bill. I really don't know what it's made from, I assume steel. At any rate I'll ensure to burn it off fully.

The spice I have is a kind of off-white powder. My friend says it's two doses, but I'll ensure to weigh it out to 50mg. I'm still slightly unsure about the 'charging' process: I place the powder on the wire ball, stuff the ball up the neck of the bottle, and then heat the neck until it melts into the wire, I think? And then simply apply indirect heat to the base of the wire? That's what I understand, at any rate.

I'm fascinated and trepidated by what I'm going to experience. Mostly I just hope I can breakthrough on two doses without screwing them both up. This said, I'm a chap who thinks very heavily about rationality, scepticism, and mind/body physicalism; and a chap who sometimes is scared of change and reluctant (though rationally committed) to embrace truths that will effect it.

My belief is that spice is a substance which affects the function of our brains in ways which can seem to be more than just the effects of a chemical: some kind of spiritual experience that shows us how the world truly works. Nothing that I've read seems to contradict this. However, as a student of philosophy I'm thoroughly open to the idea of mind/body dualism (with sufficient support), and of the possibility that a substance like spice could be a way to separate the two.

ETA 2 hours. If anyone has any advice or kind words between now and then I'd massively appreciate them.
See you on the other side.

 

[TJ]

Quick trip report.

Basically practice makes perfect; made some rookie mistakes (broken lighter, wet bottle, burnt a lot off I suspect).

The mirror and glass bottle both seemed to be drawing me into somewhere else. Closed my eyes and got some nice patterns. Body felt like it wasn't mine. Lasted around 6-9 mins, and felt like roughly that.

All round a really lovely, warm experience; albeit clearly at the very low end of the scale. Will try again with what's left tomorrow, and procure some more spice asap so that I can have some proper experimentation and try to break through.

 

[oden]

welcome.. check settings it will help.. the biggest thing is to get as much in you very deep in one to 2 puffs.. if you have done it right and it is proper spice..which is something you really should extract yourself.. you will truly know if you got a breakthrough.. if you cry it is common so dont worry its from the understanding .. you are in for something that you will never be able to fully explain. but trust me you will understand what it is about.. swim uses a water pipe.. have not heard too many good things about the bulb...uses sandwich method a couple of screens in bottem with ash before spice than more ash and a couple more screens on top... good luck and let us know how it goes..Oden

 

[oden]

Quick trip report.

Basically practice makes perfect; made some rookie mistakes (broken lighter, wet bottle, burnt a lot off I suspect).

The mirror and glass bottle both seemed to be drawing me into somewhere else. Closed my eyes and got some nice patterns. Body felt like it wasn't mine. Lasted around 6-9 mins, and felt like roughly that.

All round a really lovely, warm experience; albeit clearly at the very low end of the scale. Will try again with what's left tomorrow, and procure some more spice asap so that I can have some proper experimentation and try to break through.

you really need to extract this molecule yourself... read the attitude section.. i would not trust others with something so important..respect the spice swim said

 

[dtrypt]

Extracting your own will also (cheaply) give you a lot of spice to play with. You can start off with 15 or 20mg and work your way up to a level where you feel comfortable. Homemade is best...

 

[TJ]

I'll endeavour to be a bit more expressive from here on out. No doubt you guys have heard most everything I have to say a hundred times before, but at the least this will make for a useful experience diary for me as I explore what's out there, in here (my head), and what it amounts to.

I guess I'll also be using trad subject references (SWIM etc), since that seems to be the norm (and obviously since all of this is part of a transmedia fiction I've created).

First some responses to you guys:
- Thanks so much for your comments
- SWIM absolutely trusts his friend, he's confident the spice he has is good, even if taken on faith and not extensive experience
- SWIM does intend, if the situation demands, to extract his own spice, appreciates the benefits, and has no intention to buy from the market (not that he actually knows anyone who sells the spice)
- SWIM is getting satisfactory results from The Machine

Trip report no.2

Dose: 20mg + whatever was left in the steel gauze/wire/wool from last time

T: - 5 mins
Did things properly this time. Inserted machine ball into bottle neck. Placed spice on top of machine ball (bottle facing upright, natch). Heated bottle neck with lighter until no white powder was visible (approx 3 mins).

T: - 00:20sec
Started playlist
- Little L, Jamiroquai
- Closing Time, Semisonic
- Some Kind of Nature, Gorrilax ft. Lou Reed
- Daydream in Blue, I Monster
- The Stealer, Free
- Solastalgia, Zero 7

Obviously enough the hippie/spiritual/sitar stuff is really not my bag, but all of the above is chilled out, feel good and dear to me.

Upended bottle (750ml scotch), applied lighter couple of cm from machine ball. Some smoke/vapour in and out of bottle. Sucked on straw and exhaled back into bottle without inhaling to build up vapour in bottle.

T: 00:00
Took long, slow drag. Within 10 seconds the room (but mostly mirror on wall and bottle itself) went somewhat green and otherworldly. Much faster onset than last time.

T: 01:00 mins
Managed to take 2 full inhalations, hold each for 20 seconds, plus one more. Didn't hold final one for so long (got a bit scared). Put bottle down.

T: 01:00 - 06:00 mins
All happened very quickly.
- Saw lovely visual effects on the room (didn't notice much music change); everything was pulsating and shifting colour.
- Got the sort of pixellated, cartoon perspective (think the deconstruction of the ego scenes in the excellent I Heart Huckabees).
- Chose to close eyes. Came very naturally. Wide open mouth, but breathing slowly and regularly through nose.
- Saw patterns. Patterns developed into what looked like abstract hands beckoning me (think The Glove from Kirby, only psychedellic)
- SAW THE ELF! It was a traditional sort of garden ornament elf. He was jogging away from SWIM and beckoning him forward. Because he'd read up on this phenoma it kinda took him out of the experience briefly: reminded him he was tripping and seeing what the drug makes you see.
- Elf was followed by a blind spot. SWIM didn't have a full breakthrough, but saw some stuff, including a sense of being in another sort of world. From what he recalls he was aware of his body and the music at times, but his body didn't belong to him; it was there, and yet not. His mouth felt like it wasn't there. He was, however, very aware of his breathing when he thought about it; and didn't feel as if more time had passed than really had (if anything he said it felt like less).
- End of the trip was characterised by some more jagged patterns, faintly aggresive, but nothing awful.

T: 06:00 mins - 15:00 mins
Relaxed. Had a nice time again. Nothing to be scared of. Body still felt slightly foreign (left arm looked a bit like a devil's paw, and yet SWIM was perfectly aware this was a normal reaction to the substance), minor visual effects.


Summary

Ego never disappeared (at least not that he recalls), though body did. The experience was far more powerful than the last one, but SWIM feels as if he never truly lost objectivity (as I understand is common in < 40mg doses). While the trip remains strange (he has little experience of such things) and therefore slightly scary, it was closer to watching a TV screen while very high than genuinely going somewhere else. There was always (as he recalls) a voice he recognised as himself commenting, "This is a trip", "This is the bit where X is supposed to happen", "This is fascinating, but not life-changing". Was able to squeeze open eyes at times.

Slightly Belittling Philosophical View
I appreciate SWIM didn't break through, but I still struggle to believe he will ever really buy into the belief that this is anything other than a mind/brain altering substance. I continue to have great scepticism towards explorers, and especially well-known scientific personalities, who do some or a great deal of this sort of stuff and abandon their objectivity in favour of the phenomenological picture. Certainly what's presented is alien; but any explanation other than the physicalist one seems to abandon the fundamental principles of reason and understanding in favour of something they cannot understand but swear is more meaningful than what they do. This is, to stress again, a comment I make with the caveat of never having had a breakthrough experience. Both myself and the test subject will continue to pursue such an experience, and to document it.

Questions
Please help us do that.
- SWIM has the impression that what he managed to vaporise was not all of the dose (there was a minro hit left in the machine ball); and yet he did his best to apply the right heat and suction. Should he let the smoke build up first? How long a period does he have in which to inhale (he understands it's approx 60 seconds)?
- He therefore also wonders: when he procures a larger dose, will it simply mean more vapour is produced in a shorter space of time, and therefore that the effects will be more powerful by default?
- I'm not sure if on the next attempt my subject should try to keep his eyes open, or close them and try to encourage the breakthrough. He feels as if his philosophical research perspective is perhaps preventing a true commitment to the experience?

Cheers all, hope this has been worth a read.