First high dose shroom trip - Translucent psychic fluid

[EquaL Observer]

This is an experience I had 14 days ago with about 110 liberty caps, 40 dry, 70 wet. My first few shroom trips have taken place over the past 2 months, they have all been quite low doses, the highest being 25 fresh. This was to be a solo shamanic journey like I have had previously with baby Woodrose and Ayahuasca along with countless drug experiences.

I experienced my second high dose trip last night and will write about it soon, it shares many connections with the first experience and some events (The mayan connection - posted in this forum) which happened in-between the first and second. I can now see why many back away in terror of the awe of these things, the revelations are not fitting to modern day life and the trivial relationships we share with others due to the disenchanting paradigm past generations have created for ourselves.

My psychedelic plant use has been increasing exponentially since January, my depression and anxiety was completely transformed into a profound new awareness which some might deem spiritual after my first trip on morning glory seeds. I now remain in awe of the mystery and seek to learn more.
What I experienced last night was remarkable; I produced the translucent liquid in my mouth which I recall Terence McKenna once describing and experienced a very strange synchronicity.

Let’s call 8.30pm T-0.00

T-0.00 – Started eating mushrooms, ate about 30 between now and T+0.30. I had a mild headache before the trip, this seems to happen a lot before I attempt tryptamines and very rarely in other occasions.

T+0.15 – Felt them coming on already, I felt very light and slightly disorientated. I wondered whether I should continue to eat more, it was the usual slight anxiety before tripping.

T+0.30 – My peripheral vision is morphing objects within it into people who are frozen in strange positions, they seem to ask me to come forward into the bizarre. I think of how the mushroom does not give me a direct path, but shows that I have the choice whether or not to eat more and continue. During my 25 shroom trip I had told the mushroom it was very strange, as soon as I had said this, a shock went through my body which paralysed me with fear. I thought that perhaps I and the mushroom did not mix and that LSA was my calling. It was slightly worrying that I did not yet know my dosing levels.
T+1.00 – Have just finished eating all the shrooms, the body buzz was coming on quite strong. I got the usual sensation of a physic corkscrew being drilled into my forehead. I could not find any other reports of this sensation. I was playing some Terence McKenna video, it was my marker, when his words started to seem more and more profound and meaningful then I would know I was ready to lie down in darkness and feel what was happening. I had lit candles and an incense stick so that I could still navigate myself and to give it a good atmosphere.

T+1.30 – I was lying in my bed and realised I was sweating, I took my socks off. I closed my eyes to see a strange scenario. There was a man who seemed menacing operating a strange machine producing a constant stream of strange looking paper, a little girl was at the end of the machine where the paper was coming out, she seemed like she was being forced to interact with this paper somehow and she was frightened. I took this as a metaphor for the modern world and its materialistic nature. Immediately after this there was a multicoloured flowing membrane which seemed earthly and natural. It was gradually getting closer to me, there was lots of verbal nonsense in the back of my head as this was happening and as it got closer the strange feelings in my forehead began to morph and expand getting more and more intense. I was tempted to open my eyes to end it, and I did. I tried again and the object took over my whole visual field, I pondered how far this trip would go.

T +2.00 – I was laying with my eyes open, watching the walls of my room. Mushrooms seem to produce this translucent, metallic energy field which covers everything. It’s like a layer of psychic cling-film. As I lay there, I realised that I may have come as far as I can with the psychedelics for now, no more revelations were to be found; now I only had to work out what I was to do with my spare time. This got me thinking that I’d just be waiting for the trip to finish now after an array of visuals, but this could not be, I just need to accept the fact that trips are unpredictable; the next wave is inconceivable while perceiving the current one.
I started to think what I was to do with my spare time, or what anyone was to do with spare time. What do we do in life? Work, university, hobbies? They all seemed ridiculous, there must be more than this, why do so many people waste time doing basically nothing? I used to party a lot until I realised how senseless and mundane it was. It’s fun at first, but then you start to seek more as you come into adulthood. The majority of my friends are not finished with alcohol and trivial shit, I’ve found the psychedelics on my own and my relations to the people I used to hang about with are diminishing. What was one to do? People make candy-floss and McDonald’s toys for a living, people buy these things and it does not fulfil them, they serve no real purpose. Our society is built around consumerism and material things which get us nowhere. What should we be doing...
My mind sprung to the family, to creating more life. I started to desire a family of my own, it seemed so important to life, nothing is more important than the creation of more life in order to do what we, the previous generations could not. I thought of my father and how I have criticised him in the past, I realised that he had done what all humans set out to do but he has got lost in the world of matter, his spiritual journey has ended because of demeaning work and a disenchanted society. He now turns to television and collecting antiques, he used to smoke weed and embrace life I imagined (he did smoke weed and eat shrooms). I then realised what I had once read in one of Jung’s works, the son feels obliged unconsciously to seek what his father has failed in, particularly spiritual fulfilment. I had picked up where he had left off and started to seek the true philosopher’s stone in psychedelics. My father now unconsciously seeks this stone in antique objects and sci-fi and whatever sentiment he holds for them, he was rather like an alchemist. It was my father’s birthday in a fortnight, he is usually reluctant to receive presents, and I then decided I would give him the philosopher’s stone! An alchemy book, 100 dried mushrooms and a letter detailing these thoughts, or a poem.

T+2.30 – I suddenly realised my lips were coated in some smooth, translucent, sticky and lubricant substance. It was like some refined saliva. I had once heard Terence say that some shamans produced such a substance and they could use it to see into things. I forget where or how he exactly described it (someone help me out?). But immediately I “knew” what to do with it, I put my right thumb and the finger next to it in my mouth, pulled it out, brushing them off my lips as I did so, I then looked at it to realise that something VERY strange was happening. It’s beyond difficult to describe. Somehow, intertwined with the drilling feeling in my forehead, I raised these fingers to this part of my head and slowly started to pull away from it, It felt like I was pulling something physically, like a thread coming from my head, I did this very slowly and carefully and a strange feeling went through my arm as I did this. What I seen as I was doing this I cannot put into words sufficiently. My face lit up in awe as I realised I was able to move the psychic cling-film which covered all I seen in various layers. As I looked at this I realised IT WAS THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE. The feeling of synchronicity was amazing, shamanic ecstasy took over and I started speaking in tongues, this would arouse me more. I licked my hand with this stuff and played with it more. I considered that this was the ability to move the psychic imagery created by the mushroom using some mysterious matter which the mushroom produces in my mouth. It was not only moving it, it was morphing it, I could see into time-space and its relation to my psyche. If I closed one eye I could pinch the edge of the layer of cling-film which covered my wall in patterns and I could shift the patterns as I pleased. I did this very slowly with some preciseness that seemed bizarrely natural to me. Has anyone experienced this? What the fuck is it? I wonder if others can see this phenomenon performed by myself when shroomed in my presence. The mushroom DID like me after all, It had taught me how to live, what mattered and induced me in shamanic ecstasy. The place I was in was very similar to the Ayahuasca place.

T+3.00 – I needed to get up and write this down, as I got a pen, I realised I could use video on my laptop as I desperately needed to rant about this phenomenon and my revelations. Whilst talking to the camera I discovered my words were slurring together perfectly as if to create a language, I had been to speech therapy as a child for this reason, speaking too fast rendering me indecipherable. They never managed to completely sort out my linguistics, this felt meaningful to me as I spoke in tongues about Mckenna, the liquid, 2012, DNA, the number 64 being my favourite number to me since I was 7 years old simply because 8x8=64, this was mysterious to me and others as most people pick numbers 1 – 10. I thought of the I ching hexagrams, codones, amino acids, 64bit windows and how because of this, the I-ching has determined that the DNA of every life form will become one with the internet.

T+3.30 – I started another video and heard lightening, or what I thought was lightening, I opened the window to see a UFO flying across the sky making a bizarre sound, I licked my fingers and pulled from my head the psychic string directly towards where the UFO was heading, all the street lights and the light from what was probably just a plane (but it was a fucking disk at the time) created dynamic metallic fluid auras in which I could see through into hyperspace! This is it! The synchronicity I have been experiencing throughout my trips, the discovery of the philosophers stone by the son of a man who had failed to seek it had triggered the coming of the UFO to tell us the grand secret. I imagined that at that moment everyone in the world just had such a meaningful revelation as I had had and novelty had reached maximum point, the universe was about to end in the final synchronistic act. I jumped over to the laptop, as I did this, the village church bells rang signalling midnight, I looked at the timer on the video 23seconds, 23rd of January is my birthday, an Aquarian birth, the coming of the Age of Aquarius was now! I heard a cow starting to “Moo!” from outside. The synchronicity was INSANE it was like my psyche had tried to make this moment just to experience the intense shamanic euphoria that would result. This all occurred 2 days after finishing True Hallucinations detailing the synchronistic/schizophrenic events that followed from the McKenna’s mushroom experiment. I started to rant insanely to the camera, declaring that I would upload this to YouTube for the world to see, everyone would understand, shamanic video blogging would be massive. Looking back on this video however, I cannot make out a word I was saying, but the look on my face when I seen the number 23 and the cow started to moo (the cow makes the mushrooms, they are local).

T+4.30 – This next hour was spent using the video-mirror, using my new found saliva skill and dancing in shamanic ecstasy to the beat of the universe as I contemplated how I would hug my mother and pronounce my feelings for my father the next day. As I danced, I looked in the mirror to see my whole self morph into an alien robot with metallic eyes which signalled my hyperspacial existence at that time. My whole body was tense, I felt everything with a deep intensity, the flow of my blood was immortal. I took a piss which was orgasmic, I looked in the mirror again to see that I had tribal pattern auras on my face and I was breathing furiously like an animal. I was a shaman, I was always to be a shaman, and this is the true sacrament, the direct experience of nature. What was I to do? Maintain university and work whilst exploring these realms occasionally? Write a book? Move to South America and seek training? I’m still baffled. I believe the only thing in my way is the fact that these things can not be easily communicated to people in trivial day to day chat due the experiences being at a complete tangent from modern life.

I spent the next hour in bed calming down and reverting to sleep, feeling my whole body wildly tense and instinctually primal. The body tension associated with schizophrenia, it strengthened my muscles.
What should one make of these things... thank you for reading.

 

[quantagy]

Wow. Thank you for your posting. I've never experienced the saliva phenomenon, although whenever I shroom at a heroic dose I definitely experience the synchronicity peak! I too often become convinced my experience is being shared by everyone, and that I've reached a high watermark of sorts.

As to what to make of it all, I would just say to continue to contemplate your experience and let it lead you where it will. I once believed that the insights I gathered during my trips were instructing me to make radical changes, but what I've come to learn (for myself, anyway) is this: Go up to the mountain top, have the experience, and then simply come back down and resume life. The information gathered has no choice but to encode itself on my spirit and lead me unconciously further along the path.

Awesome post, Observer....again thanks for sharing!

 

[EquaL Observer]

Thanks man, you inspired me to write part 2.

This trip is a bit more blurry than the last, it occurred on Halloween and I picked right up from where I left off in the last trip. Elaborate ideal fantasies, spare time, social networking and stars were the themes.
I had 3g dried liberty caps from the last harvest of the season. I decided I would put them in gel caps. There turned out to be 8 of them. The gel caps allowed a gentle come up, though I found it was slightly less natural and will probably not do this again.

Although I am not too sure of the time it was between 8.30pm and 9pm. We’ll call it 9pm

T+0.00 – Ate the gel caps. Had lit some candles and an incense stick and was sitting on my bed listening to some music.

T+0.15 – By chance, when smoking a cigarette out of my window, a part of Terence McKenna’s True Hallucinations audio book came on from shuffle. He was talking about the time when his brother made the strange sound for the first time and mentioned how they were smoking b.caapi joints with the mushroom. I had some b.caapi in my drawer so thought it might be a nice idea.

T+0.40 – I Smoke a b.caapi joint. The scene outside my window begins to change slightly, more novel and fun. A smile creeps up my face as I think of Halloween. I’m coming up nice and slow, the body high is taking over and the psychic drilling feeling in my head is coming.

T+1.20 – I’m lying down listening and laughing at Terence McKenna’s ethnobotany of shamanism lecture. The very natural laughter is joyous; it is a deep hearty laugh. I think of humour and how it has become so trivial and common in western society. Companies exploit humour and laughter has become as meaningless as our sweet taste buds; all too used to what used to be an occasional luxury. Humour also appears to have become a defence mechanism; we are so used to laughing, humour being a part of almost every conversation, so trivial, with our friends, that when we are approached by serious conversation, let’s say, the nature of the universe, we give our usual forced laughter in an attempt to make the whole conversation into one as trivial as what we are used to.

T+1.40 – I turn off the lecture and find myself where I was in my previous experience, pondering all the spare time we have, what are we to do? It was hilarious and absurd. I thought of Facebook and how it entirely sums up our current situation of time wasting. Facebook is the place we go to share how little it is that we are actually doing and to assure ourselves that time wasting is normal and triviality is perfectly fine. It’s funny how misleading social acceptability can be. In Scotland, at least, the teenage talk on Facebook tends to revolve around our drinking habits. We talk about the silly things which happen during nights out drinking, people being sick or socially unacceptable in public or whatever, and we laugh about it. This kind of talk really does sum up our use of spare time, we bask and take pride in time wasting abilities. If only the masses were aware of themselves. When we can see through our habits and understand exactly who we are and why, then we cannot feel hate toward others or ourselves, understanding makes us completely comfortable within ourselves to the point where we do not need to reassure ourselves that everything is okay through seeing what other people are doing. I realised that this where my true psychedelic experience started, understanding the social sciences can very spiritually fulfilling and this is why, I think, they should be taught at an early age. This will surely allow us to stop making assumptions, to analyse our behaviour and societies thus leading to an outburst of reform through ideas, the next enlightenment.
I imagined a social utopia which I longed for, where people are replaced by humans. I understood my social complexes and past anxieties, it was all a vibrant expression of my desire for a social and communicative revolution, the abandonment of misunderstanding and triviality. I thought of how I had read that Aquarians tend to have upsets about social communications, and I understood the Age of Aquarius.

T+2.00 – I was having a cigarette and looked to my right to see a beautiful array of stars, everything had the metallic energy of my last trip during the UFO cognitive hallucination. I had looked at this area of the sky the day before whilst stoned finding the constellations quite appealing. Tonight was different though, the stars and had a magnificent energy. Thoughts of Astrology went through my mind, I think “As Above, So Below” by the Klaxons was playing. The sky was so clear.

T+2.20 – Like I say, I don’t really know where time went during this trip. But eventually I came to quite a revelation, I realised that it was my father’s birthday (01 November). My last trip largely focused around this, I had completely forgot that it was so soon but somehow, unconsciously I had been lead to eat mushrooms on this night. The cow, the bell and the UFO around the same area of sky as I seen the stars all happened at midnight and now midnight was to be my father’s birthday. I came to realise that I had in fact bought his birthday present unconsciously. I had won an HMV voucher the past week and spent it on Final Fantasy 14. I had also bought Carl Jung – Synchronicity on impulse. Both were lying downstairs together. I thought of the synchronicity of the mushroom and my father’s birthday and of how my dad had introduced me to Final Fantasy at a young age and it was my favourite game. I also got him to help me complete FF7 on the final boss. Somehow I related this to my dream of helping along the social and psychedelic revolution, 2012, Age of Aquarius, whatever you want to call IT. FF7, if you’ve ever played it has extreme connotations of the psychedelic passion, evil corporations in alliance with evil who suck the life flow of the planet to use as energy, and a small group who use magic amongst other things to fight these forces and save the planet. I realised that I needed my dad’s help and guidance to do in real life what he had helped do in the game. As some of these conclusions had reached a peak point, I looked at the time on my laptop to see 23:23, fucking hell, again.

T+3.20 – The next hour was spent generating elaborate ideals over the meaning of these revelations. It consisted of my father knowing all about these strange happenings and that we and some of my friends would write a book which would somehow change the world because of the extremeness of the synchronicities. I made several hundred elaborate connections which I cannot remember and imagined how I would go the the market with my dad the next day, eat Hawaiian baby Woodrose and talk about all this. I talked on the camera for a bit about the Facebook stuff I was talking about and ranted furiously about magical stuff which afterwards just sounded quite frightful.

T+4.00 – I had another cigarette, the visuals were still peaking and I played with the fag energetically. I noticed how mushrooms make light look so fascinating, I realised how it was quite strange how Halloween and Bonfire Night happen around the same time as the mushroom reason. Bonfire Night would be utterly amazing on shrooms, especially on a clear night like this and it occurs at the very end of the season. Mushrooms should definitely be a local cultural thing in Britain, I mean what holiday do we really have which means anything to anyone besides industrialists interested in reaping profit?. I looked behind my window and all around me and there were THE MOST stars I had ever seen. How had I never seen these before? It was like I could see further into space, the tiny stars usually not seen could now be seen by my shroom vision? I thought of how 8 gel caps can make this experience happen over the course of 7 hours. If only we could all just see! VIVA REVOLUCION!
The rest of the night was spent thinking, stretching and dancing manically. I love the way my body feels so ripe and fertile with the mushroom. It’s like every muscle in my hand can be felt and, just like my trip “the Mayan experience” posted here, I used my hand in a bizarre way I cannot do when sober. I also played with the psychic fluid phenomenon. But this involves “picking” at the air in front of me with my fingers, sometimes holding some back. It’s like when you do maths with your fingers, but this is like doing quantum physics with them, all so smoothly and unconsciously, it’s as if I’m arranging future synchronicities.

I can now see that, much like with Jung’s dream interpretation, it is not the context of cognitive hallucinations that matters, it is what they symbolise. My cognitive hallucinations involving my father symbolising my longing for true human communications among those close to me and for everyone, the reality however is that my family are TV watching, standard peoples with no clue over what possibly lays waiting for them in the bottom of the fridge (my Ayahuasca). My father however, did smoke weed up until recent years and experimented with mushrooms, though I don’t know how shamanic (probably not) his use was.

So, Integrate, integrate and integrate and eventually I’ll find a way to live to inspire psychedelic awakening whilst not offending or sounding crazy. I can only write and hope that people find interest and approach these things inquisitively.

There is some secret series of connections lying in my mind, I only wish I could see them all at once.

 

[jbark]

I really like these EquaL Observer; they are personal, yet somehow you hit a universal chord in their description. Great read, thanks for brightening my day.

Just one question though: in the first experience you consumed 110 (!!??) liberty caps, and the second 3g dried? I am not familiar with liberty caps, but wouldn't 110 be a very high amount dried?

Anyway, quantity only matters as a point of reference - it's the experience itself that counts.

Thanks again.

Cheers,

JBArk

 

[Virola78]

AMAZING!! isnt it? :shock: :twisted: 8)

My heavy mushroomtrips are very much alike. The subjects and stories might be different, but the details you mention are there. You certainly nailed allot of them.. Where the other galaxies can be seen from the window and everything communicates on the same level. I will never forget that. I know that state of mind exists. Thanks man. for reminding me. Instinctually primal indeed... shamanic ecstacy.

Be carefull though. Even if only to keep it special and precious.
As it is.

 

[EquaL Observer]

Just one question though: in the first experience you consumed 110 (!!??) liberty caps, and the second 3g dried? I am not familiar with liberty caps, but wouldn't 110 be a very high amount dried?

Liberty caps are very small, potent mushrooms. The 3g dried was around 100-130 I'd say .

And Virola, your signature just helped me put to words something I've been thinking about for some time. I used to and still do get rushes of euphoria sometimes when listening to parts of music, or just having thoughts that give me this "mental-sensation" of self-gratification. Thanks for that.

 

[Lavos]

Excellent work E. Enlightening just to read. I liked the part of getting stuck on what to do with our self and our spare time. I've noticed this question seems both profound and innocent when it comes up during a trip. Especially with 'casual' doses of spice, as in, when introducing others, I'll just show them how to properly take it in, I find myself resorting back to the question, why am I here, what is it I'm doing again?

I'm glad for the ecstasy in your synchronicity, I am becoming acquainted with such small overlaps, and it is exciting, like a new exploration, discovery, of a very old memory maybe?

Into the second trip, I am intrigued by your view of humor and laughter. I agree completely, exploited, though I've never thought of it that way. A defense, a safe zone, I have.

Ah, more spare time. But do we have enough to spare? lol Yes, in shoes like ours, it is very helpful to observe others running amok, so sure of their good reason and judgment, to step back and see it all, to understand how quickly and easily people seek to latch on to an 'accepted' idea. Often anything will do, as long as they are not alone with it or held to account for it. And then some, like many of us here, see that 'other' idea, left alone and outcast, and we cradle it, nurture it, mature it. Send it into the world if we can make it strong. Take over the ideas that have become lofty and complacent, that tear down these other little people.

If you liked FF7, (I haven't finished one in a while) I'd recommend the original xenogears. It's a beautiful story and has heavy psychic connotations also. Slow and difficult, but very worth it.

You travel ahead of me, and what you say I had imagined someone would (though it is still unique and refreshing). Integrating after seeing how much love you got to give can be hard. How little TV or celebrity BS matters. No one wants to hear that shit. Not to be pessimistic, but this would be the response from 2/3 of the people I know. The knee jerk reaction is if they cannot consider then they are not worth knowing. These thoughts continue to spiral, are they taking me up or down? If they are taking me away from the TV and these drone tongues fine, take me. (and then BAM, a big ol ego death to remind you how much you love being)

I consider our minds rare and endangered, 1000 seeds sown, how many will grow? What does it take to inspire?

 

[EquaL Observer]

McKenna: "If the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed."

When I talk to people about my experience I find it quite difficult, the euphoria and excitement wants to escape into words but it always ends up filtered by the trivial mesh imposed by the transference.

Often I see Christians standing in town with big signs, talking on a microphone about Jesus. What they don't understand is the McKenna quote above, or the fact that the meaning of the words they use are the message & not the words themselves. Jung is essential reading for anyone religious person to decipher their belief's real psychic meaningfulness to them.

McKenna struggled very hard to find the words he used and they still remained rigid and incomprehensible to many. So what I've come to realise is that I just need to be as real as possible and hope that my unconscious can one day turn the transference my way. Making it clear to people that trying things my way is an option is my goal, without being forceful. I don't like the feeling of making a mark on somebody, these things can only really be found by the sole individual if it is to be meaningful. DMT, the business man's trip should prove useful in the future.

I think there are many many people out there who remain unattached to any real life-ideology and they go through life with an air of inexperience which makes them very receptive to these plants. So I think if there was to be any revolution it would come from everyone who previously had no voice and nothing TO voice even if they did have one. And their natural glow would carry the remaining into realisation that something is indeed out there to be found.

I've often found myself in favour of sitting back and saying "It will all happen by itself". But the cliché that "if everyone thinks like that, nothing will every happen" probably applies here as much as anywhere else despite how our "expanded-consciousnesses" seem to think we know best a lot of the time.

But, I remain sceptic to all my thoughts. I can't get the question off my mind though, is this actually the way humanity should go? And if so how?

 

[unclesyd]

I also find it difficult to relate my experiences to others, a main reason I joined the Nexus. Most of my trips are very spiritual and personal, and my friends kind of look at me like I am crazy sometimes. Seems I find a lot more common ground among my fellow nexers.

I have also felt that it will only take the truth spoken correctly to wake up the masses, but realized this myself. It is amazing the shared insights I have realized in hyperspace. But more recently I believe that we are so blind to the truth, that our egos have clouded our true visions so much, that only one giant consciousness explosion can clear the worlds ego and elevate the worlds consciousness. An explosion caused by the rebirth of the creator into his dream, the physical incarnation of the source here on this earth.

I also believe we need to be conscious observers of our world, and not just floater byes. We need to be actively pursuing this goal of ultimate liberation from this world and its desires. And disconnect ourselves from this desire, and thus end our suffering. I like to re-quote leary by saying (tune in, turn on, drop in).

A note on the saliva thing, I have recently been experiencing strange things. Like my saliva will change in consistency, and I will actually cough or spit up hairs, specks of something, and other strange things. I take them or spit them in my hands and make fantastical little gizmos I either bounce around the room till they explode into some miraculous visions. Or I swallow this newly made device/substance and then blast off.

Finally on synchronicity, I have often felt like little clues, hints, objects, memories, or what have you have been purposefully left for me to discover and learn and become enlightened by such things. One night reading the bible I got up used the bathroom, and when I came out the page was turned to another with very relevant passages for me. It was crazy!!!

Or maybe Im just crazy.............