Recently I rejoined the ohm in creation(the name I will use for the place I blasted off into, the reason for this should be apparent after reading through) for the first time. I have been skeptical of attempting to do so, as I had been advised of DMT's powers, but with a shaman's agreement to answer my phone calls if I needed help, and people around me whom I was comfortable with I was ready to give it a shot. There were two couples and only the men where trying the DMT.
Using a water pipe mixed with herbs my buddy took a hit, using a BIC lighter, grabbed a pillow and laid on top of it. Passing me the pipe I filled it with what was left on the table, not knowing he eyeballed his dose, and I packed the rest of what was on the table, took the biggest hit possible, held it for as long as possible, and repeated again for good measure. It was night and the room was lit uniformly. Within moments everything looked different in the best way I could have ever conceived, I smiled wide asked the people in the room "was it always this way?"(for a moment considering that they always knew of this place and were on a mission to bring me back to it.) and began to euphorically (the best way, but yet a very poor service, to describe one of the many indescribable emotions that were to come) begin to see everything for what it was, in a spiritual sense. As I believe now that as shrooms helped me appreciate nature and the natural world, DMT has shown me the spiritual and psychological truth.
Falling harder into the trip this spine shivering, hair standing up feeling of truth, love, happiness, revolution, joy and many other emotions grew, and in this growth, now fading away from standard reality I knew what was to happen next, felt a feeling of acceptance wash away my slight fear and anxiety(including the one about my friends conspiring and knowing of this place, as the being I was to meet implanted in my consciousness that what I was about to see was the total chaos, that I would understand it all soon, and that almost nobody, especially not them yet, knew such a holy realm existed.)
I smiled so hard and wide my body felt as if it had just become love (another emotion which is obvious in creation, and is otherwise not describable. However this one certainly hold a similar feeling of when you are having a great time with a close loved one, laughing and relaxing it up. Which to me certainly means that the love we feel in everyday life is the best thing in the world because it reminisces being back in the ultimate and ever perfectly changing womb of creation.)
At that point my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and my head fell back limp, resting with my face up in a couch style one person chair maintaining the smile for the coming fifteen minutes. At that moment my world went dark, however there was no feelings of fear, but strong curiosity, a continued feeling of my body electrification (hair standing, etc. described above), and an unbelievable feeling of togetherness.
In my head I heard a voice say to me chopped up slightly but on purpose h- ha-h-ho-hol-h-holll-holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...t (that sound where all of the eyes were is the ohm and it is said in a unique way, the sound is much more frequent and higher pitched than the common Tibetan monk ohms) perhaps I will post an example on you-tube if I feel I can recreate it well enough.) The sound wavered at times, and repeated as well as being mixed in with other phrases to be described. This was part of my consciousness being brought back and forth between what seemed to be multiple realities, possibilities, and dimensions. At times I forgot that I was on inside a trip and that is when the sound would reappear, changing me to a different spiral of possibility inside creation. Other phrases I remember it using are Insaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..ne which continued with the same ohming vibration. I know this one may sound scary so I must explain now that it was not at all, in fact I appreciated and could not have been more comfortable inside the infinite chaos that it relayed to me. In creation this sound was there to infer things that a conversation between us could not have, it is about more than words when it comes to true knowledge. This true chaotic love that I was with seemed to be none other than creation itself. In creation it seemed that a being was particularly interested in me, and that was what I believe to be my spirit egging me on in a taunting yet playful and harmless fashion toward what I felt was very powerful knowledge. I believe that these sounds held more powerful messages of emotion and intuition (meaning that through the emotions I felt I could understand what it was teaching me, and had to trust what felt like a gut feeling, but held the emotion of obeying a gut feeling and having it pay off in the most significant way possible, like saving yours or a life for example.)
Event from the early beginning of the trip I was taught very well and powerfully that trusting my intuition was dire. In the past year or so I have actually been focusing on understanding my intuitions, and learning to follow them in standard reality, which may have been a premonition to get me ready for this trip is what I felt while I was out there.
Being out there: time out there in creation is not a factor as I said before I was brought spiraling through dimensions which were vast and of infinite proportions in each one and as a collective whole. It seemed just as quantum physics always explained it, reality creating new realities in a hydra like fashion with one holding every little possibility and ever expanding from it. If you are following this, yes whatever it is, is massively expansive and also could be very tiny, but size as time are only dimensions. To try to further relate this it seemed as if there was a different reality with me wearing every single different combination of clothes in my closet, a new universe for each possibility of food I chose at any given time, also realities without time, where humans don't exist, where the grass grows in mandalas, where we can make moving tattoos, like I said an infinite amount of infinitely compounding realities with every difference at all played out entirely are all just part of the loving chaotic ohm which is creation.
In this my premonitions, in my life before this trip, about one love came true in a way. I have held for some time now that we are all of one love, which entails myself living by "the golden rule", which now seems it was a great as in this web of realities, examining this creation with logic I found that at one point or another we have all been each other as these different realities are not all mine as we all share in each reality.
All of this could have happened in three seconds, several minutes, or hours there was no way to tell, and I have been working to get my order of events right, but there is so much that I forgot and so much I could not event attempt to explain.
After going through the spiraling realities my spirit settled me in a room. An all white room with white floors, and one wooden looking door. I sat in this room in the right corner of the rectangle room. Looking back on it I can tell this room was a rectangle of the golden ratio, and so was the door. In this room were the four people in the room I was in, in standard reality. However, I was an observer from an area right above my head. I could see myself and myself looked at me, this is when I met my spirit. I feel this way because it looked somewhat like me, but it was what I strive to be, it had more attitude, intellect, and was confidently loving. I say these things because when I looked into it's eyes it reaffirmed the truths I had just seen, helped my consciousness come to knowing, and nurtured me with the emotions it instilled in me. This is a moment that cured my anxiety, paranoia, and jealousy in standard reality which I have been battling, but now are not prevalent in any way at any time in my daily activities. I think this cure could have come about because it just instilled an incomprehensible truth in me about everything that is indescribable, and I am probably doing it a very poor description but I can only do my best.
After looking at myself, I looked at my friend, what was what I believe to be his spirit as well as he looked slightly different, but when our spirits locked eyes, wide eyes locked as to interchange messages without saying anything, and huge grins on our faces, I once again asked him if this was how it always was? He answered that this is how it always was and always will be as the infinite creation recycles itself to itself. Looking at the girls they were less ecstatic, and I figured it is because they had not dosed.
After spending some time in this room and delving back into the creation a few times as my spirit had to bring me back through it all whenever I had forgotten what it taught me. At these times of forgetfulness it was also when I forgot I was in a trip, so when I would question is it always like this? the answer from my spirit was to get the gist of it no, then I would remember I was out there on DMT and recycle through the emotions, happenings of the reality spiraling before I could settle.
This is where it starts to get sketchy, my spirit related some thoughts about "hes never been here before," in excitement, but also at that point I felt a greater force notice me, a seemingly expansive black force, that did not necessarily like the knowledge it noticed my spirit taught me. Feeling this, and feeling that it did not want me to say what I had learned, I wanted to show it that it could not stop me, I was not evil, and at that point in a defiant effort to make noise I tried to scream to no avail. Now slightly in realization that its not all sunshine and rainbows I looked at it like a test, and if I wanted to come back to reality I would have to see my task. I then began playing "Know Your Enemy" by Rage Against the Machine in my head and focusing on singing along to it. Looking back now its ironic that the early lyrics actually say ,"Still in a room without a view
Ya got to know
Ya got to know
That when I say go, go, go
Amp up and amplify
Defy
I'm a brother with a furious mind
Action must be taken
We don't need the key
We'll break in"
I was in a room without a view, in the white room, which others have seen in other ways based on my studies in others' experiences. Ya got to know is the feeling I had about where I was, in terms of wanting to share with others and tell them this is a very beautiful thing, though its incredibly strong so be prepared to the fullest, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Then when the time for saying go came, and I was amped up to defy this force with ohm power from my furious(as in rushing not unhappy) mind, action was taken by me after, to get back to standard reality. Which I wound up back in my living room screaming "fuck you" powerfully in a deep rocker metallica style voice three times, and I was unchained and free to act. I took this chance to try to relate in words everything I had found. I apparently spilled off about "Ohm is everything, ohm is so powerfully infinite, ohm is everything." For a final connection to that song I did not need a key to the door in the white room to get in, I broke-in and saw our spirits inside the room, and there was two of us in the room therefore "we broke in." Not saying it means much, but it is an interesting afterthought or a revelation depending on how you want to look at it.
I then fell back into creation where I believe I was brought through the cycle a final time for my spirit to ensure that I got the necessary information, and on my way out it was peaceful and nothing confronted me or tried to hold me there. The holy shiiiiiiiii... t phrase was prevalent in sounds I heard when running back through. Hearing my spirit say this was so beautiful to me, and I could learn whatever it wanted me to just through listening to the sound it made.
Upon full on return to standard reality, it seemed as if something about this reality we are in is unique and draws much more energy to it, not saying it is the reality, but it is a more stable reality and this is evident when coming back as it is one of the easiest to get into, and therefore easiest to return to as you will be able to manifest your consciousness back into your body.
The Aftertrip: once back to reality I immediately began to try to describe all the happenings, and beauty of it to those in the room. Knowing I couldn't I was still not discouraged, and poured out poetically.
The gist of said poetry was:
Everything is nothing
Nothing is everything
A loving chaotic ohm is the essence of what comprises everything
That ohms beginning may have caused a "big bang" type of occurrence where everything manifested. I believe that the first sound, and what comprises everything in the universe may be the phrase h- ha-h-ho-hol-h-holll-holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...t. It sounded like I would imagine a black hole ripping open would sound, and from then it was the steady ohm so while never hearing a definite t at the end I knew what the phrase was and it was kind of my reaction to the feeling of DMT but when hearing it it was not of my own thought as obvious by it being mixed over the ripping of a black hole and then going into an ohming sound I have never heard, nor would I believe that anyone could replicate in this reality. The ohming in the iiiiiii can go on forever, and I believe was only made hearible to me through relations made to me from my spirit. I know a lot of this may sound nuts, but others have made similar documents of experiences, and the knowing that comes is all from intuitions and emotions which you must be somewhat in tune with.
Other facets:
Sounds: there seemed to be negative sounds, and blips that were part of being out there as well as the bodies reaction to the DMT that changed things sometimes when they occurred.
Sights: I am not sure how much hallucinogenic action I got in visuals eye open or closed, but there was a different glow to the world with my eyes open, and closed I didnt get an astral grid, mandalas, or machine elves as you can see most of what I delved through was based and imaged in reality, but brought to my consciousness in unimaginable ways.
Overall that is my first experience, I probably had about .2g worth. I am fine and happy still, no new problems or after effects, aside from my seeming freedom from the any worry I would normally previously experience in life. Maybe im faith drunk but we will see how it will turn out over time, I will update with any changes.
I hope I didnt leave any thought unfinished here but I am not about to proofread this right now. Hope you enjoyed, and I hope this helps you on your journey.
One Love, and do not fear the unknown or chaos as it is beautiful and perfect!
