snake doctor
Rising Star
hi all,
this is my first post here relating some of my experiences and this may be a long read for some of you who are interested in the experience only. if you would like to skip past some of the events leading up to it, you'll find it below.
normally i'm a bit methodical about recording and documenting my experiences for reflection later on, however these experiences are being recalled from memory. i'm certain i've forgotten some of the less impressionable details, but for the most part they are all intact and in the proper timeline. i wish i was more of a linguist, poet, artist & physicist, but my prior experience with 'bringing things back' has served me well.
i'll try my best to convey not only what i've seen/heard, but some of my interpretations as well.
here's a quick sound bite about myself for those of you who don't venture into the introduction section. i'm in my early 40's and would consider myself a seasoned entheogenic voyager. i've been exploring psychedelics for more than half my life now both recreationally and deeply. after countless journeys through the spectrum with the classic and more popular allies, i've taken some of my first steps into hyperspace. i will humbly say that i've seen and experienced quite a bit with entheogens, and i'm quite ecstatic over my initial meetings with this wonderful molecule/spirit/ally.
my inevitable meeting with dmt was quite a long time coming and actually caught me a bit by surprise. why now i wonder? i read dr. strassman's book soon after it was released, and have a nice little subsection of my library devoted to entheogens. i am interested in all spirit plants/molecules, especially indigenous and historical usage regardless of whether i actually intend to try them personally. i've always been intrigued by dmt, and could have hastened the experience if i had really wanted to...but a wise friend once told me that it finds you, and that just seemed right to me, so i knew that we would meet eventually.
i'll skip the formalities and logistics surrounding the meeting beyond my introductory post, but suffice it to say that after an initial breakthrough a generous gift from hyperspace appeared. you know the old saying that good deeds repay you 10 fold? apparently my karma has caught up to me....after all these years. i don't actually believe in karma in the traditional sense, but i do feel there is a mutual attraction between the spirit and i.
you never forget your first time do you? i doubt that i will. i lurked around the nexus for a bit after receiving my gift, prior to opening the present. i was simultaneously contemplating, refreshing and updating my curiosity about what to expect, but just enough to get my bearings. i wanted to avoid preconception and placebo effects.
i've always been fascinated with the virgin experience of dr. hoffmanm and his bicycle ride. i think a lot of our own experience is governed by preconception amongst many other factors and based in part on past experience and everything we've experienced. the contents of our subconscious may manifest and be colored by our conscious selves, often in productive or healing ways, sometimes in tragic ways.
ok, enough rambling and onto the experiences...
the first time...
i was gifted a healthy amount of residual vaped material by a friend. it was related that what was left in this glass pipe was overly sufficient for quite a journey or three. i've never smoked anything else with this method, and wasn't quite sure on the technique beyond the quick tutorial he gave me.
i wanted to decline based on my desire to know 'exactly' how much and of what. i'm very careful, but i trust the right people, and realized it was time for the meeting after all.
eyes closed, diffuse light coming through the window on my left. 6am sunday morning, pristinely quiet house, pleasant ambient music, good night sleep, feeling refreshed and alive. my experienced sitter of many years by my side. i'm not fearless or bold, but i'm quite capable of composed inquisitiveness when facing the unknown. i'm nervous like a child on their first big rollercoaster ride... excited, but confident. here we go!
the first pull was a very strong taste, maybe singed it a bit and scorched my mouth chemically. better sit up more the next time... holding forever. luminescent spiderwebs, gradually morphing into a pattern like a chrysanthemum, but more geometric, less organic, not very flower like. (old school terminology surfacing in my subconscious?)
drab colors, olive green and grey against black background slightly spiral pattern. second hit... pattern becomes deeper and morphs from 2d to 3d. diffuse light from the window intruding and distracting a bit. all of a sudden, the pattern shifts away from the light so that i might better see it. i didn't move my eyes, it moved... i follow it internally with my eyes like a moth to a flame. the spirit seemed to be optimizing on my behalf, showing me the way in a cooperative manner to get the most benefit based on my preference and personal wiring i suppose.
it was not an egoistic 'you need to look here' type of thing. it was very gentle and knowing of me on a deep level, it was more of 'hey check this out...' so, the pattern takes on a more pronounced 3d effect and becomes a bit 'brighter' in hue, not as drab. exhaling the 2nd hit, i exclaim out loud to my sitter that it's 'so gorgeous' and give the thumbs up. our signal to vape a 3rd hit and assist me in the inhalation process.
3rd pull inward...holding til i'm about to burst. the pattern takes on a more animated 3d fractal view and becomes a bit wavy as if projected onto a drape or translucent fabric. the pattern/surface combo starts to pinch as if grabbed from behind by a giant hand. the diffuse light from the window and my computer monitor intrude further, as the pattern begins to draw me into it i blink my eyes in a bit of a reality check. a split second only...
leading up to this blink...i'm a bit disappointed at the non-symmetrical nature of the environment i had chosen. i can be a perfectionist at times but it's not a requirement. i prefer to have an 'optimal' experience, but not in a controlling 'it has to be a certain way' type of thing. i accept and allow for the novel and unexpected. so yeah... i could spend an eternity swimming in this beautiful slightly imperfect chaotic ocean of positive form and negative space.
upon closing my eyes after that microscopic blink, i suddenly realized i had broken though. the pattern was gone, the lighting was no longer relevant, my bedroom was transformed. cubed in size with an aesthetic that i would consider paradoxical spatial perception. by necessity, i have to relate this in 3d space, metaphor, and using some commonly available symbology due to a lack of proper syntax of hyperspace at this stage. there are many aspects to the experience that just don't translate as i'm sure you all know (i think that'll come in time through sharing and researching the vastness of hyperspace and cherry picking mutually resonant ideas from this forum)
normally, music is the focal point of my experience. i also love great visuals and can evoke them with other entheogens quite easily against plain backgrounds in subdued lighting, but i'm mostly an 'eyes closed, ears open type'. (i can get into this more later, but i feel at times the nervous system is just a formality and a translator for a 'direct' knowing.)
surprisingly for me, the visual component was forefront and foremost. the music was a bit too loud, for once. i did hear a prominent and sustained 'tone' that i had never heard in this piece of music that i thought was very pervasive and exaggerated. if you are curious...i had chosen solar fields - air song (8am version) for my musical accompaniment. quite minimal, but quite an earful this time around.
after i broke through, i perceived a circular portal of sorts opening up in the floor area. immediately i had the perception of a feminine presence, while simultaneously observing an entity that resembled alex grey's 'sophia' rising through it. i didn't feel 'high' or altered at all... there was no body load.
intellectually i was in awe, but the experience felt very neutral emotionally. this 'entity' rose through the portal spiraling upward, i couldn't make out a disctinct face or even a head, not that i was trying to focus on details so much as being overwhelmed with the profundity of everything. there was a strong attraction on my part to observe what she was wearing, which was a dazzling and mesmeric jeweled fractal wonderland. i felt like i was unable to focus on particular details with my eye/vision pathway rather than just focusing attention to certain aspects of the whole experience.
she continued to rise upward spiraling as she goes. i also observed what i perceived to be a caduceus that accompanied her. she wasn't holding it. it was floating along side her, and it was somewhat like my avatar but in motion. instead of the traditional snakes, the coiling was what i thought to be dna. pulsing, rainbow strands. there was a wing like accompaniment but not 'flapping' or even moving. transforming constantly, but simultaneously static... quite a paradox. as she reached the top of the scenario/space she dematerialized, but her presence was still felt and remained as an observer.
suddenly, very close to me i perceived an entity that was just like an outline of a humanoid form. a shadow outline mostly, that seemed to come into my field of 'vision' and look over me. it was like we were observing each other, but in a mutually curious way. i didn't sense any gender or ego to this entity.
my awareness then shifted back to the top of the vision where i perceived a winged entity. again the wings weren't flapping but in a perpetually transforming yet static state. my first thought was a very fat bat, but there was also a nautilus, roly-poly pill bug quality to it. i felt like the vision was starting to fade a bit, when i picked up on the the pervasive tone running through the music and the experience trailed off through this musical tone fading.
coming back to baseline with a big grin on my face, i opened my eyes and had the most immense feeling of wonder. i turned to my sitter and started to gush about how amazing that was, recounting the experience. the experience lasted about 15 min total, but i wasn't really timing it. just going by the length of the song which is 16.5 min.
goodnight for now, more experience reports to follow...
this is my first post here relating some of my experiences and this may be a long read for some of you who are interested in the experience only. if you would like to skip past some of the events leading up to it, you'll find it below.
normally i'm a bit methodical about recording and documenting my experiences for reflection later on, however these experiences are being recalled from memory. i'm certain i've forgotten some of the less impressionable details, but for the most part they are all intact and in the proper timeline. i wish i was more of a linguist, poet, artist & physicist, but my prior experience with 'bringing things back' has served me well.
i'll try my best to convey not only what i've seen/heard, but some of my interpretations as well. here's a quick sound bite about myself for those of you who don't venture into the introduction section. i'm in my early 40's and would consider myself a seasoned entheogenic voyager. i've been exploring psychedelics for more than half my life now both recreationally and deeply. after countless journeys through the spectrum with the classic and more popular allies, i've taken some of my first steps into hyperspace. i will humbly say that i've seen and experienced quite a bit with entheogens, and i'm quite ecstatic over my initial meetings with this wonderful molecule/spirit/ally.
my inevitable meeting with dmt was quite a long time coming and actually caught me a bit by surprise. why now i wonder? i read dr. strassman's book soon after it was released, and have a nice little subsection of my library devoted to entheogens. i am interested in all spirit plants/molecules, especially indigenous and historical usage regardless of whether i actually intend to try them personally. i've always been intrigued by dmt, and could have hastened the experience if i had really wanted to...but a wise friend once told me that it finds you, and that just seemed right to me, so i knew that we would meet eventually.
i'll skip the formalities and logistics surrounding the meeting beyond my introductory post, but suffice it to say that after an initial breakthrough a generous gift from hyperspace appeared. you know the old saying that good deeds repay you 10 fold? apparently my karma has caught up to me....after all these years. i don't actually believe in karma in the traditional sense, but i do feel there is a mutual attraction between the spirit and i.
you never forget your first time do you? i doubt that i will. i lurked around the nexus for a bit after receiving my gift, prior to opening the present. i was simultaneously contemplating, refreshing and updating my curiosity about what to expect, but just enough to get my bearings. i wanted to avoid preconception and placebo effects.
i've always been fascinated with the virgin experience of dr. hoffmanm and his bicycle ride. i think a lot of our own experience is governed by preconception amongst many other factors and based in part on past experience and everything we've experienced. the contents of our subconscious may manifest and be colored by our conscious selves, often in productive or healing ways, sometimes in tragic ways.
ok, enough rambling and onto the experiences...
the first time...
i was gifted a healthy amount of residual vaped material by a friend. it was related that what was left in this glass pipe was overly sufficient for quite a journey or three. i've never smoked anything else with this method, and wasn't quite sure on the technique beyond the quick tutorial he gave me.
i wanted to decline based on my desire to know 'exactly' how much and of what. i'm very careful, but i trust the right people, and realized it was time for the meeting after all.
eyes closed, diffuse light coming through the window on my left. 6am sunday morning, pristinely quiet house, pleasant ambient music, good night sleep, feeling refreshed and alive. my experienced sitter of many years by my side. i'm not fearless or bold, but i'm quite capable of composed inquisitiveness when facing the unknown. i'm nervous like a child on their first big rollercoaster ride... excited, but confident. here we go!
the first pull was a very strong taste, maybe singed it a bit and scorched my mouth chemically. better sit up more the next time... holding forever. luminescent spiderwebs, gradually morphing into a pattern like a chrysanthemum, but more geometric, less organic, not very flower like. (old school terminology surfacing in my subconscious?)
drab colors, olive green and grey against black background slightly spiral pattern. second hit... pattern becomes deeper and morphs from 2d to 3d. diffuse light from the window intruding and distracting a bit. all of a sudden, the pattern shifts away from the light so that i might better see it. i didn't move my eyes, it moved... i follow it internally with my eyes like a moth to a flame. the spirit seemed to be optimizing on my behalf, showing me the way in a cooperative manner to get the most benefit based on my preference and personal wiring i suppose.
it was not an egoistic 'you need to look here' type of thing. it was very gentle and knowing of me on a deep level, it was more of 'hey check this out...'
so, the pattern takes on a more pronounced 3d effect and becomes a bit 'brighter' in hue, not as drab. exhaling the 2nd hit, i exclaim out loud to my sitter that it's 'so gorgeous' and give the thumbs up. our signal to vape a 3rd hit and assist me in the inhalation process.3rd pull inward...holding til i'm about to burst. the pattern takes on a more animated 3d fractal view and becomes a bit wavy as if projected onto a drape or translucent fabric. the pattern/surface combo starts to pinch as if grabbed from behind by a giant hand. the diffuse light from the window and my computer monitor intrude further, as the pattern begins to draw me into it i blink my eyes in a bit of a reality check. a split second only...
leading up to this blink...i'm a bit disappointed at the non-symmetrical nature of the environment i had chosen. i can be a perfectionist at times but it's not a requirement. i prefer to have an 'optimal' experience, but not in a controlling 'it has to be a certain way' type of thing. i accept and allow for the novel and unexpected. so yeah... i could spend an eternity swimming in this beautiful slightly imperfect chaotic ocean of positive form and negative space.
upon closing my eyes after that microscopic blink, i suddenly realized i had broken though. the pattern was gone, the lighting was no longer relevant, my bedroom was transformed. cubed in size with an aesthetic that i would consider paradoxical spatial perception. by necessity, i have to relate this in 3d space, metaphor, and using some commonly available symbology due to a lack of proper syntax of hyperspace at this stage. there are many aspects to the experience that just don't translate as i'm sure you all know (i think that'll come in time through sharing and researching the vastness of hyperspace and cherry picking mutually resonant ideas from this forum)
normally, music is the focal point of my experience. i also love great visuals and can evoke them with other entheogens quite easily against plain backgrounds in subdued lighting, but i'm mostly an 'eyes closed, ears open type'. (i can get into this more later, but i feel at times the nervous system is just a formality and a translator for a 'direct' knowing.)
surprisingly for me, the visual component was forefront and foremost. the music was a bit too loud, for once. i did hear a prominent and sustained 'tone' that i had never heard in this piece of music that i thought was very pervasive and exaggerated. if you are curious...i had chosen solar fields - air song (8am version) for my musical accompaniment. quite minimal, but quite an earful this time around.
after i broke through, i perceived a circular portal of sorts opening up in the floor area. immediately i had the perception of a feminine presence, while simultaneously observing an entity that resembled alex grey's 'sophia' rising through it. i didn't feel 'high' or altered at all... there was no body load.
intellectually i was in awe, but the experience felt very neutral emotionally. this 'entity' rose through the portal spiraling upward, i couldn't make out a disctinct face or even a head, not that i was trying to focus on details so much as being overwhelmed with the profundity of everything. there was a strong attraction on my part to observe what she was wearing, which was a dazzling and mesmeric jeweled fractal wonderland. i felt like i was unable to focus on particular details with my eye/vision pathway rather than just focusing attention to certain aspects of the whole experience.
she continued to rise upward spiraling as she goes. i also observed what i perceived to be a caduceus that accompanied her. she wasn't holding it. it was floating along side her, and it was somewhat like my avatar but in motion. instead of the traditional snakes, the coiling was what i thought to be dna. pulsing, rainbow strands. there was a wing like accompaniment but not 'flapping' or even moving. transforming constantly, but simultaneously static... quite a paradox. as she reached the top of the scenario/space she dematerialized, but her presence was still felt and remained as an observer.
suddenly, very close to me i perceived an entity that was just like an outline of a humanoid form. a shadow outline mostly, that seemed to come into my field of 'vision' and look over me. it was like we were observing each other, but in a mutually curious way. i didn't sense any gender or ego to this entity.
my awareness then shifted back to the top of the vision where i perceived a winged entity. again the wings weren't flapping but in a perpetually transforming yet static state. my first thought was a very fat bat, but there was also a nautilus, roly-poly pill bug quality to it. i felt like the vision was starting to fade a bit, when i picked up on the the pervasive tone running through the music and the experience trailed off through this musical tone fading.
coming back to baseline with a big grin on my face, i opened my eyes and had the most immense feeling of wonder. i turned to my sitter and started to gush about how amazing that was, recounting the experience. the experience lasted about 15 min total, but i wasn't really timing it. just going by the length of the song which is 16.5 min.
goodnight for now, more experience reports to follow...
