So although this is what I feel was my first experience in "hyperspace", I have smoked DMT previous to this about a dozen or so times. I thought I was much more prepared.
I had been planning to smoke some for about a week, but I wanted to wait until I had the house to myself for a considerable amount of time to do so without being interrupted. A day came and I spent it meditating and preparing myself. I was planning on smoking it outside like I did the week before. But this time when I was getting ready to do it, it began to downpour and it no longer felt right to do.
The following day it was still raining just as much, but I had a longer stretch of time to myself to do so, and figured it would be OK to smoke it in my room. I spent the whole morning tidying up and meditating. Getting work and other things done that needed to be done. Around 1pm the time came that I felt ready to do so. I grabbed my bowl, which still had a bed of ash leftover from the weed I used to sandwich my DMT in between the week before. I have no scale but I dumped a hefty scope of my spice onto the ash (at least 60mg+). On top of that I put a layer of dried cannabis leaf (picked off a plant I'm growing) to finish the sandwich.
I dimmed the lights, lit a candle and set up a comfortable spot to lie down near my window. Cracked my window open just enough that I could easily blow all the smoke outside and sat down. It was pouring rain and it could be heard loudly pounding on the roofs and right outside the window.
A little nervous, I held the bowl up to my mouth and hovered the lighter over the top leaf of the bowl as I had done all previous times I've smoked it. I saw some of the powder below the leaf instantly turn to liquid and seep into the depths of the bowl. It wasn't a large hit and nothing got lit, as I was just trying to liquefy the spice first. I exhaled the tiny bit of vapor in my lungs out the window and took a second to breathe. Already I felt my body begin to come up.
I brought the bowl back to my mouth and took a large toke, barely lighting the leaf on top. When I had no more lung power I stopped and held in the hit. I exhaled out my window and instantly felt something powerful. Colors and shapes became enhanced and the sound of the rain got weirder in ways I cannot describe. I began to toke my next hit and instantly felt something stronger than I had ever felt before. I toked as long as I could (which wasn't very long), before I even exhaled everything (vision, hearing, body) began to vibrate intensely and I said muttered something along the lines of "WHOA!".
Upon exhaling I HAD to put the bowl down as my hands became weak and the concept of taking a third hit wasn't even an option. My world suddenly had an alien feel to me, as it usually does when I blast off. Everything, raindrops, trees, puddles, my neighbors' house, outside of my window became shapes, complex shapes I'd never seen before but somehow I recognized. The sounds I heard were completely foreign as well, they were loud and intricate. Everything radiated colors in the form of energy, especially my hands. I not only saw energy being pulled off me, I felt it.
I made the mistake of becoming frightened by this. I lied back and closed my eyes, but I was still so frightened. I felt like I was zooming and swooping and racing through complex shapes and images in the most vibrate, pulsating colors. I was zooming so fast it was uncomfortable. I tried opening my eyes to escape the speed of things, but that didn't help at all, even though visually I was no longer being pulled through hyperspace, I still felt like I was physically being zoomed around. The ceiling of my room looked much larger than it ever has and the fan didn't look like a fan, it was just something sitting there. Everything was still radiating color. I closed my eyes again to escape that and went back to the frightening colors of before.
There were lots of SUPER colorful fractalizing images morphing into themselves engulfing not only themselves, but me as well. I couldn't make sense of any of them and it scared me. One vivid image I have in my head was of a family, almost like a family portrait kind of picture. It was a man and his wife, and in front of them stood their son and daughter. From what I remember they looked human, but almost of South-American decent (which is weird because genetically I'm European). They were all radiation the most vibrant, alien colors. And as fast as they showed up, they were gone.
I switched back and forth between opening and closing my eyes during the whole duration of this. I just wanted to escape the velocity I was traveling at and slow down. It was very uncomfortable. I wondered to myself if this was even DMT (in hindsight it was dumb but I was scared). I thought to myself I had rushed my readiness of traveling into hyperspace. I just wanted it to end. I began to feel my face, I'm not sure why, I hoped it might comfort me, it did not.
I let out a distressing moan. Feeling the vibrations in my throat did however, comfort me slightly. I moaned a little more and moved my hands around my body more, trying to regain sense of "reality". In my head I continued to tell myself I did not like what I was feeling. I then said it out loud a few times in between moans. I was hoping that saying it aloud, instead of just thinking it, might help to calm me down and confront the negativeness I was feeling.
After I don't know how long, I opened my eyes for good. I felt like I was decelerating and returning to my room. My ceiling still looked completely alien to me and everything was still radiating color, the rain outside began to sound like rain again. My stomach felt upset and my head ached. I layed there for a few more minutes, waiting for the visuals to stop, hoping the negative body sensations and fear would leave too. I thought about the image of the family I saw and tried to make sense of it, it was the only thing I saw that I can accurately describe or remember for that matter.
I felt very down, confused and very frightened still. The sense of euphoria I typically experience after smoking DMT was not there, the sense of calmness, peace, and serenity however, was. I found this interesting. I sat up, still very confused, and drank some water. Over the next hour I wondered around my house and even ventured outside. Looking for something to do and just trying to make sense of what happened.
I'm still trying to make some sense of it, but I do not remember many of the specifics, only the fear and the immense colors and that family.
I guess it goes to show that when people say "you are never fulled prepared for the experience that is DMT", they mean ever bit of it. On the dozen or so sub-breakthough experiences I've had, none of them came close to what I experienced. Just be wary, I thought I was more than ready and now I regret ever thinking that.
I had been planning to smoke some for about a week, but I wanted to wait until I had the house to myself for a considerable amount of time to do so without being interrupted. A day came and I spent it meditating and preparing myself. I was planning on smoking it outside like I did the week before. But this time when I was getting ready to do it, it began to downpour and it no longer felt right to do.
The following day it was still raining just as much, but I had a longer stretch of time to myself to do so, and figured it would be OK to smoke it in my room. I spent the whole morning tidying up and meditating. Getting work and other things done that needed to be done. Around 1pm the time came that I felt ready to do so. I grabbed my bowl, which still had a bed of ash leftover from the weed I used to sandwich my DMT in between the week before. I have no scale but I dumped a hefty scope of my spice onto the ash (at least 60mg+). On top of that I put a layer of dried cannabis leaf (picked off a plant I'm growing) to finish the sandwich.
I dimmed the lights, lit a candle and set up a comfortable spot to lie down near my window. Cracked my window open just enough that I could easily blow all the smoke outside and sat down. It was pouring rain and it could be heard loudly pounding on the roofs and right outside the window.
A little nervous, I held the bowl up to my mouth and hovered the lighter over the top leaf of the bowl as I had done all previous times I've smoked it. I saw some of the powder below the leaf instantly turn to liquid and seep into the depths of the bowl. It wasn't a large hit and nothing got lit, as I was just trying to liquefy the spice first. I exhaled the tiny bit of vapor in my lungs out the window and took a second to breathe. Already I felt my body begin to come up.
I brought the bowl back to my mouth and took a large toke, barely lighting the leaf on top. When I had no more lung power I stopped and held in the hit. I exhaled out my window and instantly felt something powerful. Colors and shapes became enhanced and the sound of the rain got weirder in ways I cannot describe. I began to toke my next hit and instantly felt something stronger than I had ever felt before. I toked as long as I could (which wasn't very long), before I even exhaled everything (vision, hearing, body) began to vibrate intensely and I said muttered something along the lines of "WHOA!".
Upon exhaling I HAD to put the bowl down as my hands became weak and the concept of taking a third hit wasn't even an option. My world suddenly had an alien feel to me, as it usually does when I blast off. Everything, raindrops, trees, puddles, my neighbors' house, outside of my window became shapes, complex shapes I'd never seen before but somehow I recognized. The sounds I heard were completely foreign as well, they were loud and intricate. Everything radiated colors in the form of energy, especially my hands. I not only saw energy being pulled off me, I felt it.
I made the mistake of becoming frightened by this. I lied back and closed my eyes, but I was still so frightened. I felt like I was zooming and swooping and racing through complex shapes and images in the most vibrate, pulsating colors. I was zooming so fast it was uncomfortable. I tried opening my eyes to escape the speed of things, but that didn't help at all, even though visually I was no longer being pulled through hyperspace, I still felt like I was physically being zoomed around. The ceiling of my room looked much larger than it ever has and the fan didn't look like a fan, it was just something sitting there. Everything was still radiating color. I closed my eyes again to escape that and went back to the frightening colors of before.
There were lots of SUPER colorful fractalizing images morphing into themselves engulfing not only themselves, but me as well. I couldn't make sense of any of them and it scared me. One vivid image I have in my head was of a family, almost like a family portrait kind of picture. It was a man and his wife, and in front of them stood their son and daughter. From what I remember they looked human, but almost of South-American decent (which is weird because genetically I'm European). They were all radiation the most vibrant, alien colors. And as fast as they showed up, they were gone.
I switched back and forth between opening and closing my eyes during the whole duration of this. I just wanted to escape the velocity I was traveling at and slow down. It was very uncomfortable. I wondered to myself if this was even DMT (in hindsight it was dumb but I was scared). I thought to myself I had rushed my readiness of traveling into hyperspace. I just wanted it to end. I began to feel my face, I'm not sure why, I hoped it might comfort me, it did not.
I let out a distressing moan. Feeling the vibrations in my throat did however, comfort me slightly. I moaned a little more and moved my hands around my body more, trying to regain sense of "reality". In my head I continued to tell myself I did not like what I was feeling. I then said it out loud a few times in between moans. I was hoping that saying it aloud, instead of just thinking it, might help to calm me down and confront the negativeness I was feeling.
After I don't know how long, I opened my eyes for good. I felt like I was decelerating and returning to my room. My ceiling still looked completely alien to me and everything was still radiating color, the rain outside began to sound like rain again. My stomach felt upset and my head ached. I layed there for a few more minutes, waiting for the visuals to stop, hoping the negative body sensations and fear would leave too. I thought about the image of the family I saw and tried to make sense of it, it was the only thing I saw that I can accurately describe or remember for that matter.
I felt very down, confused and very frightened still. The sense of euphoria I typically experience after smoking DMT was not there, the sense of calmness, peace, and serenity however, was. I found this interesting. I sat up, still very confused, and drank some water. Over the next hour I wondered around my house and even ventured outside. Looking for something to do and just trying to make sense of what happened.
I'm still trying to make some sense of it, but I do not remember many of the specifics, only the fear and the immense colors and that family.
I guess it goes to show that when people say "you are never fulled prepared for the experience that is DMT", they mean ever bit of it. On the dozen or so sub-breakthough experiences I've had, none of them came close to what I experienced. Just be wary, I thought I was more than ready and now I regret ever thinking that.
