Psychic Head
Rising Star
As far back as I can tell I've been interested in psychedelics and faith. I've dabbled in what may have been LSD (how can I be sure?) and mushrooms somewhat in my early twenties and also have smoked many different grades of cannabis. I quit everything for many years and then in my readings (I read voraciously) I came across Aldous Huxleys's The Doors of Perception. Although I've read before of mescaline and peyote I've never tried them (lack of availability). So, I decided to surf the web about peyote and cross-searched them with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (I'm a member) to see what opinions about incongruencies between the faith and substance use there may be and I found out about ayahuasca. After reading much about ayahuasca, I knew I wanted to experience it. I found many ayahuasca tours available in South America but the cost-factor was an issue for me at the time and still is, somewhat. So, I was talking to a friend about ayahuasca and how I wanted to attempt my own recipe for the brew and he stated he had a recipe for DMT which he has successfully used many times. !!!!!
My master bedroom has a door which opens to my back yard and also a surround-sound stereo system. It was early February 2010, a little chilly, a slight rain was coming down, and I put Vivaldi on the stereo at a low level, just enough to be heard but not overpowering. My friend and I sat on the floor against my bed facing the door which I opened to the back yard. Acting as my guide, he explained how to inhale the spice. Previously, he explained to me what to expect and the length of the journey, and assured me there was no need to panic. So, he proceeded to vaporize the spice in a glass bong and I inhaled a total of three times, holding the third inhalation as long as I could. ... ... .... .... ....
I cannot fully put into words the experience, my feelings, my thoughts; it simply cannot be conveyed except with the experience itself. At first, I felt an acceleration from where I was to some point somewhere??? The sounds of 'reality' fluttered as numberless locust wings; I felt myself gasping for breath and thought maybe I had no more ability to breathe and this was my end...I remember (and still laugh about it!) opening my left eye to my friend and asking him for reassurance of my ability to breathe..."Can I breathe?" He replied "yes" and I shut my eye and continued. I noticed light folding upon light folding upon color folding upon color and then suddenly I was in a spherical room whose walls were made of eyes. I recall during this time I periodically opened my eyes to look into the backyard but quickly shut them as the backyard was kaleidoscopically folding upon itself. Another aspect of this experience which I marvel at is although I felt panic and anxiety (not overwhelmingly) at this new and beautiful chaos I was also anchored into 'reality' by Vivaldi playing in the background. The music was not affected in one way or another; no amplification, no distortion, no change whatsoever as opposed to how cannabis or LSD would affect it. This seemingly lack of change in the music made me feel as if I were in two rooms at the same time???
Over the course of a few minutes the 'beautiful chaos' slowly dissipated and I felt exhausted, a full-body exhaustion which was also clean, similar to what it's like after working hard and getting ready for bed??? It didn't feel dirty or uncomfortable such as a comedown from LSD. I remember laying limp against the bed facing outside looking at the rain, still unable to speak but peaceful, as if I was returning to my body. The backyard slowly settled down, the sounds of 'reality' became aligned with what I was used to perceiving, and the ability to move came to me. I was speechless...what happened???
To be honest, the first time was anxious-how could this new world not be?
As stated before I am interested in faith and fully subscribe to mine; I did not feel any antagonism between my actions and my faith and still do not, but that may be another post...
This experience left me with some questions: Can DMT be applied to depression? How is DMT illegal or considered dangerous? What is the difference between the DMT and Ayahuasca experience besides the length of the journey and method of ingestion?
My master bedroom has a door which opens to my back yard and also a surround-sound stereo system. It was early February 2010, a little chilly, a slight rain was coming down, and I put Vivaldi on the stereo at a low level, just enough to be heard but not overpowering. My friend and I sat on the floor against my bed facing the door which I opened to the back yard. Acting as my guide, he explained how to inhale the spice. Previously, he explained to me what to expect and the length of the journey, and assured me there was no need to panic. So, he proceeded to vaporize the spice in a glass bong and I inhaled a total of three times, holding the third inhalation as long as I could. ... ... .... .... ....
I cannot fully put into words the experience, my feelings, my thoughts; it simply cannot be conveyed except with the experience itself. At first, I felt an acceleration from where I was to some point somewhere??? The sounds of 'reality' fluttered as numberless locust wings; I felt myself gasping for breath and thought maybe I had no more ability to breathe and this was my end...I remember (and still laugh about it!) opening my left eye to my friend and asking him for reassurance of my ability to breathe..."Can I breathe?" He replied "yes" and I shut my eye and continued. I noticed light folding upon light folding upon color folding upon color and then suddenly I was in a spherical room whose walls were made of eyes. I recall during this time I periodically opened my eyes to look into the backyard but quickly shut them as the backyard was kaleidoscopically folding upon itself. Another aspect of this experience which I marvel at is although I felt panic and anxiety (not overwhelmingly) at this new and beautiful chaos I was also anchored into 'reality' by Vivaldi playing in the background. The music was not affected in one way or another; no amplification, no distortion, no change whatsoever as opposed to how cannabis or LSD would affect it. This seemingly lack of change in the music made me feel as if I were in two rooms at the same time???
Over the course of a few minutes the 'beautiful chaos' slowly dissipated and I felt exhausted, a full-body exhaustion which was also clean, similar to what it's like after working hard and getting ready for bed??? It didn't feel dirty or uncomfortable such as a comedown from LSD. I remember laying limp against the bed facing outside looking at the rain, still unable to speak but peaceful, as if I was returning to my body. The backyard slowly settled down, the sounds of 'reality' became aligned with what I was used to perceiving, and the ability to move came to me. I was speechless...what happened???
To be honest, the first time was anxious-how could this new world not be?
As stated before I am interested in faith and fully subscribe to mine; I did not feel any antagonism between my actions and my faith and still do not, but that may be another post...
This experience left me with some questions: Can DMT be applied to depression? How is DMT illegal or considered dangerous? What is the difference between the DMT and Ayahuasca experience besides the length of the journey and method of ingestion?
