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First really conscious lucid dream

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nemesauce

nemesauce

Rising Star
Not sure if this is the right place for something like this.

I've had several semi-lucid dreams before, mostly the kind where you realize you're in a dream right before you wake, or when you do something in the dream state instinctively in response to the conditions of the dream (avoiding danger...etc).

I bring to you last night's experience, I'm not sure if its typical but some avid lucid dreamers might be able to relate or shed light on this powerful and fascinating state of consciousness.

Dream:

At first things started off as a typical bout of sleep paralysis, waves of fear/paranoia washing over me, I've become accustomed to this feeling and can get past it to some degree either by waking or going into a deep dream. I soon moved into an out of body state, my consciousness moving a short distance from my body only to be snapped back like a rubbed band, many times I would look at my hands and see my "spectral" form (an invisibility you can see). This feeling kept looping many times, I was starting to get quite frustrated at this point, I just wanted to wake up or get to sleep. Out of this frustration I started to bang my head against the dream representation of one of my bedroom walls, putting cracks in the dream drywall... That's when the magic happened, I thought to myself "I wonder if these cracks will be there when I wake up?"... "wait, I'm rationalizing"... "I'm conscious and in control!!!"

I was then able to move freely in this state, no more elastic band effect, I moved through my living room and out my apartment door, through the common entrance and then outside. I consciously knew for sure that I was in the dream because while I was still in my apartment it was dark and still felt like night time, when I moved outside it was day time and brilliantly bright out.

I found my self in a city park, the buildings looked futuristic but not unrecognizable, as I walked I came face to face with a faceless man in a suit, at first I wanted to avoid the encounter because he was putting out a strange out of time and place vibe (totally reminded me of the gman from half life) then I remembered that I was in control and that he couldn't harm me. We walked passed each other, he gave me a nod like I had permission to continue.

At this point I was so excited, I was a bit overwhelmed because I knew that I was in control but did know what to do next, I thought to myself what are some of the things that people report about lucid dreams (this was an interesting sensation, I could bring forth memories of waking life) I wonder if I can fly?... How do I even go about doing this? I then laid down on my stomach and started to float, then I was able to control my flight path, it was so intuitive. I made several passes around the park, weaving past buildings and trees, viewing people and events... I thought to myself "how lucky am I to be doing this, this is a special thing"

I then began having thoughts that I might wake up, at first I thought that this was crummy but then I knew that this would be the definitive proof that I was conducting my own actions, if I could wake myself at will. I then landed in front of a group of three elderly women (I think they were knitting) I was a little unsure of how to land because I had never had to before. The ladies smiled and congratulated me on my first successful lucid dream.

I comforted myself with the knowledge that I would be back to this state, I had passed a test and getting back would get easier and easier. I told myself to wake up... Then I woke up in my bed with the biggest ear to ear grin!

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I still have that feeling of adventure and the memory of it all is so crystal clear.
 
It's a feeling like no other!

It's funny, you read about other people having these dreams and part of you thinks they are full of it, to good to be true... Then it happens and you have no choice but to accept it, and the memory of it isn't like the half memory of a regular dream, its a full on memory thats just as solid as though it happens in waking space.

:love:
 
That's a wonderful, wonderful experience! :)

I tried lucid dreaming a long time ago. Unfortunately, I succeeded. It was nothing like your experience. I was completely in control, but the rest of it... It was a horrible, horrible experience :D I'm not sure why it happened the way it happened, but to have a lucid dream like yours would be a fun experience :) I've never had one thought. But I have done flying in a meditative state, with the wind on my skin and the tears in my eyes and all, so maybe I don't need lucid dreaming! Or maybe my mind wasn't as suited for it then as it would be now? I'd like to try again, no matter the risks... :)
 
That's a shame it ended bad for you:( what happened if you don't mind me asking?

I've had some pretty horrible dreams in the past that I'm thankful I wasn't in the driver seat, where you wake up and wipe the sweat from your forehead and say "I'm so glad that was just a dream, I can't believe that just came out of my head!" If a person was fully conscious I could see how it would be scarring.

I think you should go for it again, don't let one horrible ride get in your way:)
 
nemesauce said:
That's a shame it ended bad for you:( what happened if you don't mind me asking?

I've had some pretty horrible dreams in the past that I'm thankful I wasn't in the driver seat, where you wake up and wipe the sweat from your forehead and say "I'm so glad that was just a dream, I can't believe that just came out of my head!" If a person was fully conscious I could see how it would be scarring.

I think you should go for it again, don't let one horrible ride get in your way:)
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It wasn't like that but I can see how that's the first conclusion you'd jump to :)
No, it was weeks of existence where I couldn't tell my dreams from my reality because they were identical. Every lucid dream of mine was so lucid I couldn't tell it from reality. And believe me, I tried. I tried to see discrepancies in the laws of physics, time, tracking several moving objects at once, anything. No luck. The only way I could tell I was even dreaming was that sometimes I would do something like clean up or buy some food and put it in the fridge and then wake up to find out the food wasn't in the fridge or the floor was still dusty. That's how I knew I hadn't really cleaned up or gone to the shop. On top of that, my lucid dreams were constrained to normal laws of physics and the same rigid rules as this reality. I might have been able to affect a change if I had known when I was dreaming, but I never knew when I was dreaming and any time I tried to do something "impossible" I failed. I didn't try to jump from a great height or anything but I did try flying, quite stubbornly. I'm sure some of those times were within a dream. Landing on the living room floor on your stomach even from knee height kind of hurts. It hurt every time. Realistically. You guessed it: it didn't help me figure out if I was dreaming or not. Now, you might be thinking "but how could you know? After opening that fridge and discovering it was empty, surely you knew that that was the reality and the next dream would be the dream, right?" I wish it had been that simple. On top of everything else, I sometimes forgot I'd gone to sleep or woken up. I woke up and it the memory of it was wiped from my mind. Same with going to sleep (or going to sleep within a sleep. Or waking up within a dream. I don't know.) Sometimes I would wake up and go to sleep within a dream. This continued for weeks.

My dreaming was never like that before I tried (and succeeded at) lucid dreaming. All of that from forgetting when I'd woken up to waking up within a dream happened all at once and I couldn't stop it.

So that's my first and only experience with lucid dreaming :D I'm ready to try again, but that really wasn't the most pleasant intro into lucid dreaming. It seems funny now but it didn't feel funny then!
 
Wow!!

You're at a different level than me, that's for sure.

Not sure I can provide any advice, not any that would be helpful to you at any rate. I would say this: Anchor yourself to this waking life somehow, it has lots of good stuff going for it too. I find things like the trees mating in spring at dusk, when the light from the setting sun illuminates the particles of fluff floating in the air, wondrous - stuff like that, attach feelings or thoughts to events like that, beautiful things that you have no control over.

In a way I pitty those that have both feet firmly planted in the "real world" they are missing out on so much. I also find the reverse to be true. Find a way to plant one foot in each, that could be the experience you seek. Or I could be just talking out of my armpit, in the end your path is your path.
 
nemesauce said:
Wow!!

You're at a different level than me, that's for sure.

Not sure I can provide any advice, not any that would be helpful to you at any rate. I would say this: Anchor yourself to this waking life somehow, it has lots of good stuff going for it too. I find things like the trees mating in spring at dusk, when the light from the setting sun illuminates the particles of fluff floating in the air, wondrous - stuff like that, attach feelings or thoughts to events like that, beautiful things that you have no control over.

In a way I pitty those that have both feet firmly planted in the "real world" they are missing out on so much. I also find the reverse to be true. Find a way to plant one foot in each, that could be the experience you seek. Or I could be just talking out of my armpit, in the end your path is your path.
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Yes, it was strange. I didn't understand it at all back then. Looking back now and thinking of the history of my dreaming, it's like my dreams only reinforce the fact that this reality is a sham. I mean, it's almost a slap in the face. "Oh, you want to dream? Okay, I'll just replay your "real life" with 100% realism. Because, you know, your "real life" is already a dream, that's why you never have any dreams. But since you insist... I'll give you one."

This not dreaming/not remembering dreams has been a thing for the majority of my life. There were times when I had dreams, vivid dreams, but those times were the exception, not the rule. Probably 98% of my dreams have either been ultrarealistic or something you'd likely see on DMT. (I once tasted colours that don't exist down here! And down here I have no synaesthesia. That was a fun dream.) Mostly the ultrarealistic kind. Very few have been "realistic but unlikely" and even then they were hardly fantastical.

Meditation was always my access to a "dream state". I did all my flying and frolicking in eternally sunny fields and visiting exciting places in a deep meditative state. I can't say my dreams were ever as exciting as my meditative experiences (except the very rare psychedelic dreams. I always enjoyed those! But I didn't have them before my first experience taking a psychedelic substance so I'm glad I did, otherwise I probably would have never had a single exciting dream.)

I didn't take any vitamins or anything last night but I had a dream. Since forever, I had a dream. I would call it "semi-lucid", so apparently the lucidity won't be a problem if I just manage to start dreaming/remembering my dreams again. I think the last time I just succumbed to the reality of my dreams being stupidly realistic. This time, I know better. If I gain complete lucidity, I will make the dream world bend to my will. I know it's possible :) I was pretty young when I had that first not-very-fun experience. I think I couldn't get in control because I wasn't in the right state of mind. I wasn't really aware I was in control of my dreams and my life (I remember then I felt anything but in control of my life). Now I only have to remind myself I'm in control and it shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully!

I think dreaming after I posted here about wanting to dream again is a really positive sign. I only remember the very last moments of the dream, but if I can just write something like "I want to dream again" and dream right after that and remember something even thought I didn't take any herbs or supplements then that's a really positive sign :D

I can PM you that semi-lucid dream of mine if you want?

Ps. I realise that everything I wrote completely contradicts your advice... The truth is I'm not sure if I should plant one foot firmly in this reality or plant both my feet in another reality and treat this reality like my realistic lucid dreams (remember? I didn't jump off the balcony or anything because I didn't know if it was a dream, I might have died.) Maybe that was a lesson I could use now even if this time I can tell dream from reality. Maybe I could treat this reality as a dream but still act in it within its boundaries and not just stop caring about anything just because it's a dream?

I think those are the two paths in front of me. The two paths I can see now anyway :) When I'm ready (when the mushrooms pop out of the ground) I will go on a journey to find answers to my questions. Hopefully then I'll know which path I should take (and also know if there's a third path or something I'm not seeing. I'm sure I'm not seeing everything as clearly as I think.)

Your advise might be right for me or it might not. I don't know yet!

I have to find balance for sure, I'm just not sure what kind of balance :)
 
Yes you can PM me anytime about anything, you don't need permission:)

As far as my advice goes... You don't have to take it or you can take just what you need if you find anything that fits. I actually don't really like giving advice for two reasons - I think I suck at it, and I have a really hard time taking it from others... But I try - I'm trying to understand this "life is a sham" thing is all.

I do have a couple of questions for you if you'll entertain them?

What happens if you take your sacrament and it gives you a whipping So bad that you are thankful to be back? If not amanita, something else will at some point for sure.

What if you live a long but wanting life only to realize it was less of a sham than you thought?

Is it possible that you need one to have the other and vice versa? Can one exist without the other? And to what extent?

I look forward to having you stick around, you seem like a deep and interesting person:)
 
nemesauce said:
Yes you can PM me anytime about anything, you don't need permission:)

As far as my advice goes... You don't have to take it or you can take just what you need if you find anything that fits. I actually don't really like giving advice for two reasons - I think I suck at it, and I have a really hard time taking it from others... But I try - I'm trying to understand this "life is a sham" thing is all.

I do have a couple of questions for you if you'll entertain them?

What happens if you take your sacrament and it gives you a whipping So bad that you are thankful to be back? If not amanita, something else will at some point for sure.

What if you live a long but wanting life only to realize it was less of a sham than you thought?

Is it possible that you need one to have the other and vice versa? Can one exist without the other? And to what extent?

I look forward to having you stick around, you seem like a deep and interesting person:)
Click to expand...

I'll try my best :)

I don't know, I've never had that happen yet. I've had my ego destroyed, I've experienced death (including brutally violent death), I've been a non-human creature many times (some of them very dark, although having been a creature like some people seem to describe from their "dark DMT trips", I can say that at least in my experience, I was beyond good and evil, beyond human logic and morality, and if I appeared "sinister" it was just due to the observer's perception, not my actual nature which they weren't able to perceive), one mind in several bodies, pure energy, I've seen in 4 spatial dimensions, I've experienced oneness with the Universe (multiverse) and everything in it, I've relived losses and painful moments over and over again... I've only ever had one "bad trip" and I classify that as bad not because of what happened "out there" but what happened when I was "back here", and because of my wrong intent when I took those mushrooms. But I learned from that experience too, so I find it hard to really classify it as a bad experience. Anything bad about it was caused by other people, but if other people are me extended in space and time and I'm aware of this and my reckless behaviour caused them to act the way they did then ultimately it was a bad trip because I wasn't in control because I misused the shrooms in the wrong setting with the wrong intent. :)

I'm sure I'll get "hyperslapped" at some point, maybe I'll concentrate too much on what I desire from the trip and I'll get a big dose of what I need to bring me down a bit. But that's happened already and I experienced it as a positive. I don't think fear, terror, despair, sorrow, agony or anxiety are negative things on a trip. But I have a feeling you're really asking if I think I can't experience something so terrifying that it will make me glad to be "back down here"? Of course it's possible, to deny the possibility would be to believe in absolutes and I don't believe in absolutes. Is it likely? Honestly, I don't know. What do I think will happen? I think... I'll be glad to be "out of there" instead of "back here". I mean, do you think I'd be less glad to be on some alien planet as the only human being there but everyone leaving me be? Of course not. I have no preference to "here", I think the difference is really what's important: I doubt I'd be glad to be "back here", I think I'd just be glad to be "out of there". I can't know for sure, but knowing myself to the extent I do(n't), that's what I think. :)

It's not my intention to live a long and wanting life. I'm trying to find a balance so I could do something interesting here "in my dream" and do something interesting out there "in my reality" or "in several other realities". "Here" I would actually like to write a book, or several. I've started on one and I'm sure I'll continue writing at some point. It's heavily influenced by my psychedelic experiences but based on reactions I've gotten from people I've shown some of my unfinished work to, it could appeal to a larger audience. :)
But my attitude is likely to make me not work very hard for anything happening, including writing, right? Well... that's why I need to find some kind of balance I think. :) I want to find a balance!

Is it possible to have one without the other? Well, yes, but I don't think there's a person "down here" I'd like to do that to. I mean, if I was permanently "out there", I can't imagine whatever was left of me "down here" was anything anyone would want to have around long-term. :D But that's from the point of view of this being the "reality". Do you think that ultimately the balance would be such that I would equally wake up to my reality "somewhere out there" (without any psychedelics) and then wake up to the reality/dream "down here", every day? That's one possibility :)

I think... if I ever know the time of my death in advance, then that would be the time to have "one without the other". Is it possible or a good thing before then? I don't know. I can't deny that "living between worlds" seems like a necessity for a balanced life. I'm trying to challenge my own thoughts continuously, really the answer to all your questions (and all of mine) right now is "I don't know, I'm not even very sure of what I think."

But hopefully soon I will be. I'll pm you now :)
 
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