Jamie ONeil
Jamie O'Neil
I didn't experience any of the stages that are reported by others. I did see a joker guy, standing before a doorway, and lots of colors that quickly went into blackness. Days later, I remember that immediately a cacophony of sounds - maybe voices - began to rush in. I believe that is when time began to slow down and as it did, the voices became more understandable. My family say I began shouting loudly, struggling to get the words out, "I PROMISE YOU THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE THE MOST DISGUSTING..." then I began to choke and wretch and drool. I didn't remember doing this, but it sounded familiar, and I knew what it meant. I think the voices were helping me chant it. It's part of an unspeakable word that I've felt and heard before (when I did ketamine). We were all twisting, being wrung out in a way, and I saw a quick vision of myself exploding, stomach and bowels and ears - all kinds of messy liquids flying out of my body, and I remember thinking it's really important to do this in a safe space! I got the message it was a thrill ride that was beyond comprehension and it was going to be horrible and beautiful and messy and wonderful and gross all at once. It wasn't that awful, though, and then it was over. As the days go one, I remember more and more from this beginning, but I may never remember all of it, and if I do, I'm not sure I'll be able to articulate it. The sounds are what begin to creep from the depths of memory, and sometimes the feeling of being rushed into this place comes back. I didn't have the sensation of leaving my body, as some do. I do remember something coming up out of me, but I don't know what it was.
The next thing I remember, I was floating on this spiral shape, and something was either talking to me or showing me something. Explaining. I remember feeling so very comfortable and at peace and loved - so enveloped in it. That is when I said, "I get it." the words were so beautiful and loving and satisfying, they seemed to float very slowly out of my mouth. I remember hearing my son say, "Now do you get it? It was the most loving, safe feeling I've ever had. I felt again a satisfying feeling in my pelvic area. In retrospect, I believe I experienced the raising of the kundalini.
The next thing I remember, I was hooked up to a monitor. I was being observed. It was monitoring my anxiety level, my heart rate. Whenever I would begin to think rational thoughts, the sound of the monitor would increase. I was worried that I wasn't a good candidate. They were watching to see if I could go, or perhaps how I had done. I was not fearful, but my mind kept injecting thoughts, about how I was doing, like it was a test of some sort. My first body awareness was that everyone in the room was sitting beside, around me. I was surprised to learn I could speak. When I opened my eyes I saw all visual swirling colors, and my family with their faces painted tribally. I saw masks and tribal emblems everywhere (my house is also full of those things) I haven't read about anyone else experiencing anything like this. I don't think I went into hyperspace.
Perhaps I need to do it again with an empty vessel (body). I did not - do not-take this lightly. I prepared a sacred space and called in the four directions before I began (and I did this at the magical hour - sunset). Upon coming back and finding everyone in the room glued to me, impressed with how I had spoken, for some reason, I immediately was overwhelmed with gratitude for the directions having watched over me. I did feel like I stood at a gateway of a portal between the worlds. This feeling was very strong as the kaleidescope colors subsided. Immediately afterwards, I thought the message was that it was ALL a thrill ride, all of life on this planet. Now, I wonder if it was the hyperspace thrill ride I was standing at the gate to, and that the monitor was a test to see if I could go on it. Or, perhaps the beginning was the ride. It did seem like I reached the end of it, but it went so fast, I didn't remember it.
Since the trip, one curious, real-world change is this: I have a student that has always irritated me. There is no real reason for my irritation; I just didn't like him. He really grated on my nerves. I felt bad for not liking him, because he was always nice to me. Since my return, not only does he NOT bug me anymore, but I LIKE him!! I SEE him differently. he's kind of like a fellow traveller. I don't know what to make of it except - dmt is produced in the pineal gland - the seat of consciousness and perception. Apparently, my perception of this particular soul shifted.
Has anyone ever experienced being hooked up to a monitor like that? I'm almost ready to do it again. I'm going to make some next weekend, and initiate a few friends that I KNOW will like it. (I will try my own tek before I give it to someone else
The next thing I remember, I was floating on this spiral shape, and something was either talking to me or showing me something. Explaining. I remember feeling so very comfortable and at peace and loved - so enveloped in it. That is when I said, "I get it." the words were so beautiful and loving and satisfying, they seemed to float very slowly out of my mouth. I remember hearing my son say, "Now do you get it? It was the most loving, safe feeling I've ever had. I felt again a satisfying feeling in my pelvic area. In retrospect, I believe I experienced the raising of the kundalini.
The next thing I remember, I was hooked up to a monitor. I was being observed. It was monitoring my anxiety level, my heart rate. Whenever I would begin to think rational thoughts, the sound of the monitor would increase. I was worried that I wasn't a good candidate. They were watching to see if I could go, or perhaps how I had done. I was not fearful, but my mind kept injecting thoughts, about how I was doing, like it was a test of some sort. My first body awareness was that everyone in the room was sitting beside, around me. I was surprised to learn I could speak. When I opened my eyes I saw all visual swirling colors, and my family with their faces painted tribally. I saw masks and tribal emblems everywhere (my house is also full of those things) I haven't read about anyone else experiencing anything like this. I don't think I went into hyperspace.
Perhaps I need to do it again with an empty vessel (body). I did not - do not-take this lightly. I prepared a sacred space and called in the four directions before I began (and I did this at the magical hour - sunset). Upon coming back and finding everyone in the room glued to me, impressed with how I had spoken, for some reason, I immediately was overwhelmed with gratitude for the directions having watched over me. I did feel like I stood at a gateway of a portal between the worlds. This feeling was very strong as the kaleidescope colors subsided. Immediately afterwards, I thought the message was that it was ALL a thrill ride, all of life on this planet. Now, I wonder if it was the hyperspace thrill ride I was standing at the gate to, and that the monitor was a test to see if I could go on it. Or, perhaps the beginning was the ride. It did seem like I reached the end of it, but it went so fast, I didn't remember it.
Since the trip, one curious, real-world change is this: I have a student that has always irritated me. There is no real reason for my irritation; I just didn't like him. He really grated on my nerves. I felt bad for not liking him, because he was always nice to me. Since my return, not only does he NOT bug me anymore, but I LIKE him!! I SEE him differently. he's kind of like a fellow traveller. I don't know what to make of it except - dmt is produced in the pineal gland - the seat of consciousness and perception. Apparently, my perception of this particular soul shifted.
Has anyone ever experienced being hooked up to a monitor like that? I'm almost ready to do it again. I'm going to make some next weekend, and initiate a few friends that I KNOW will like it. (I will try my own tek before I give it to someone else
