First time Ayahuasca action log (B.caapi, MHRB)

[Rpentomino]

Preparation of the Brew

Materials:

• 250g B. caapi
• 40g MHRB
• ~20L Deionized water
• Distilled white vinegar

First and Second Wash: The plant materials were placed in separate stainless steel pots, each filled with 3L of water. Once the temperature reached 92-96°C, white vinegar was added to achieve a pH of approximately 4.0 - 4.5. The mixture was simmered for 3 to 3.5 hours, with constant monitoring of temperature and pH levels. The liquid was then strained through a cotton T-shirt and stored in separate glass jars. This process was repeated twice. Between the second and the third wash, the plant material was wrapped in plastic film and kept in the freezer for 35 hours, while the extracted liquid was refrigerated.

Third Wash and Reduction: The previous process was applied one final time. Total decoction time on the stove amounted to 12-14 hours. After the third wash, the plant material was discarded. The combined extracts were refrigerated for 36-40 hours to allow sediments to settle. The liquid was then carefully decanted and simmered further until reduced to 270ml for the Caapi and 330ml for the MHRB. Both final concentrates were then stored in the freezer.

First Experience

Preparation: The jars were defrosted at room temperature on the morning of the ceremony. I followed a 4-week diet: the first 3 weeks were moderately strict (no red meat, sugar, dairy, alcohol, caffeine or cannabis; cigarettes were maintained), and the final week was very strict (mostly potatoes, green vegetables, fruit, and rice). On the day of the experience, I consumed only a small portion of fruit and oats 8 hours prior.

The Ceremony: At 6:00 PM, in a dimly lit room with soothing music and my best friend acting as a sitter, I consumed 55ml of Caapi. After 30 minutes, feeling no effects, I took 25ml of MHRB. After an hour of anticipation, a strange sensation of "falling inward" emerged. Nausea followed, leading to a purge. The Journey: Post-purge, the experience hit like a tsunami. Visuals were surprisingly absent, but the auditory landscape became vast—like being in a cathedral with fluctuating, echoing sounds. I experienced intense empathy, feeling the grief of a mother losing a child. I observed my own cognitive processes as if they were frozen moments in time, yet I remained anchored in my ego; I knew exactly who and where I was. The trip lasted about 2.5 hours. It was a gentle introduction, though I felt I hadn't reached the "depth" I sought.

Second Experience

One week later, I attempted a deeper dive by increasing the dose by 1.5x. However, the experience was physically taxing. I felt nauseous almost immediately after the Caapi and struggled to retain the MHRB. I purged three times shortly after consumption, likely losing most of the active alkaloids. The trip lacked visuals or auditory depth; instead, my ego remained hyper-present and judgmental. It was an uncomfortable 2.5 hours of physical restlessness with little spiritual insight. I have since frozen the remaining brew to reflect on these outcomes.

Questions for experienced psychonauts

1. Why couldn't I experience ego death both times? I still think it was about the dosage. I've heard many times that at some point Ayahuasca just does the job, separates you from your ego, and it’s something you cannot prevent from happening. Is this true? Should I take a second dose of MHRB after the purge to reach that point?

2. I am considering MAO inhibitor analogues like Syrian Rue for the next time. Is there any real difference between them and Caapi in terms of the experience?

3. Why didn't I see any visuals? Many people describe DMT or Ayahuasca as a highly visual experience. Is this something that depends on the person or the material used? In my case, it was mostly auditory.

 

[blig-blug]

Hi @Rpentomino , welcome to the Nexus (or at least to actively posting).

I've heard many times that at some point Ayahuasca just does the job, separates you from your ego, and it’s something you cannot prevent from happening. Is this true?

Definitely not. It may happen, it may not happen. There can be a lot of variability, it may well be one time a cosmic, expansive experience and another time just a lot of nausea, visual noise, and mental anguish.

Why couldn't I experience ego death both times? I still think it was about the dosage

The dosage was not too high indeed, but also not low. An "ego death" type of experience would have been surprising from that dose. However, I wouldn't just increase the dose next time. I'd try increasing doses slowly until you find a dose that's right for you. High doses of Aya can be very difficult to deal with. And try to not have expectations on how the experience will be, as I said it can be very different from one time to the next.

I think a key is maybe here:

instead, my ego remained hyper-present and judgmental

It sounds like a lot of resistance, and that can suppress the effects of psychedelics and diminish them unless doses are high. It's a process of learning to give up control and let the substance take you wherever without resisting it. I would focus on that.

Also, with Ayahuasca I sometimes have "delusions of sobriety": I feel like there aren't many effects and think so, but when looking back at what was happening it's clear there were very strong effects. For example, once I was seeing a ball going back and forth while some kind of tentacles moved and pushed it, and that was supposed to represent my awareness, with the tentacles being my automatic reactions. There was even some kind of reflection on how some came later evolutively than others. And, meanwhile, I thought several times "I wonder why I'm not getting any effects, my mind is normal". I think that's related to some resistance again.

A good option could be to redose: when you see the effects coming down, take more MHRB (and maybe a bit more of caapi, but you don't need much more as long as it's been only about 3 or 4 hours since you had it). The second dose tends to be more profound, I think in great part because many resistances have been removed during the first. The second dose will be stronger too, so be mindful of that, it may need to be lower.

2. I am considering MAO inhibitor analogues like Syrian Rue for the next time. Is there any real difference between them and Caapi in terms of the experience?

Yes, at equivalent dosages Syrian rue tends to produce much more often feelings of spinning and flying, and feels both more stimulating and paralyzing. It's more direct, less gentle in its effects. I personally prefer it (at least right now), other people don't, it's a matter of preference. I have found the "flying" to be helpful to break through resistance and become more immersed in the experience, so you may find it helpful that way too. It's worth trying it.

3. Why didn't I see any visuals? Many people describe DMT or Ayahuasca as a highly visual experience. Is this something that depends on the person or the material used? In my case, it was mostly auditory.

Aya is just like that. A same dose, for the same person, at different times can vary a lot in how visual it is, and in almost any other aspect. I've had highly visual experiences and experiences where I just saw visual noise. I think this variability is much more pronounced with Aya than with other psychedelics. Even smoked DMT may not be visual sometimes (although it does tend to be very visual).

You could try higher doses, but be careful: don't increase the DMT and MAOI doses at the same time, you could easily take a dose that's way too strong. Particularly if it turns out your caapi is weak and you hadn't reached full MAO inhibition: reaching full inhibition plus increasing DMT would mean that you have a lot more DMT active inside. So my advice is to increase them separately, if you decide to do so.

Good luck with your future experiences! And keep us posted