Hi everyone, first time posting to this forum… long term reader. I wanted to share with you my first experience of DMT and the impact it has since had on me.
Background
I’m an active 30-odd year old male in good mental health. Prior to this, my only experience with any drugs was cannabis - I had never tried psychedelics. DMT appealed to me for a few reasons: the short duration of its effect… intense visuals… But, most importantly, how often people talked about learning about themselves through the experience. I love learning and I seen it as an opportunity to learn more about myself. I seen, and still do see, DMT as a critical friend.
Also, to note, while I don’t believe I suffer from aphantasia, my dreams and closed eye visualisations have always felt like they’ve been viewed through some really strong sunglasses: colours are very muted, shapes aren’t always super clear.
Attempt 1
I won’t spend too much time giving context about this… long and short, I had a sore throat (turned out to be the flu) and was nervous so took two small draws of the cart which had minimal effect beyond very slightly enhanced colours when watching TV. I had a friend ‘spot’ me for this. It did give me some comfort that I wouldn’t have a seriously negative effect from the DMT cart.
Attempt 2
I had decided that day that I was going to try again, but this time take larger draws, hold for longer, with a view of having a more noticeable effect.
I set myself up in my home, and took two draws: 5 seconds in, 5 seconds hold, and exhale.
Immediately, my heart rate went up. Nothing wild, but it was definitely elevated… as if I had ran for a bus. I was looking out the window, expecting to see visuals. Nothing. The tiles on a nearby roof looked different, almost as if the contrast had been messed with. But that was it.
Still nothing. I took another draw: 7-8 seconds in, held for as long as I could, exhaled/ coughed.
My body began to get warm. My eyes were closing. It felt so pleasant: as if I was falling asleep, warm in my bed. I want to get up to shut the blinds, and the window, but I couldn’t. But not in a paralysis kinda way, more a ‘I have no desire to’ way. My brain tells me: you’re about to die. This is it.
I had a brief state of panic, but was able to quickly calm myself down. I went from thinking “I’m going to die” to “I am okay with dying” real quick. I leaned back, eyes struggling to stay open.
My eyes closed. I didn’t think I had passed out, but in hindsight I most likely did as it felt so much like the last moments before you fall asleep.
Same as always, visuals are dark but I see them. I’m in some weird side street. Think of the alley in Ed, Edd n Eddy. There’s a person made of cardboard, slouched over as if they’re a drunk in a movie. But their legs are folded in a zig-zag fashion. They’re trying to get up but their legs are not able to support them.
I wasn’t scared, more just observing this person try to get up.
I’m immediately in a swirling, colourful tunnel, and I’m travelling down it slowly. The tunnel begins to smooth out. Initially facing into the tunnel, I’m now facing towards the side of the tunnel as I witness a car (looked like some hot wheels car based off an American muscle car) get sucked in through the tunnel and the car, and I, get spat out.
I’m suddenly watching a spaceship get ready for blast off. It’s at nighttime. It’s cartoony from what I can remember. I’m really close to the shuttle. The countdown seems to be happening, even though there’s no visible counter. I feel the countdown is happening. Smoke is spewing from the bottom of the shuttle, but it never launches. It seems to sit there for minutes, but nothing. It stays there.
I wake up. It felt like I was away for like 30-45 mins. Nope: about 10 between taking the last draw and waking up.
I just sat there for about 10-15 mins afterwards. The window was open (somewhere for the smoke to go), I could hear people outside: someone using a drill. The roof looks normal. I’m back.
Afterwards
I knew integration was important, so I spent some time thinking about what that could mean. Some of it I’m still trying to figure out (what was that cardboard person all about?!), but other bits I’ve found to be insightful: I’m terrible for starting things or not giving 100% to things, and I feel the rocket nearly blasting off, but not blasting off, represents that.
I also tend to be quite anxious but, having faced the notion of dying and accepting it, I feel more confident in committing to things I’m scared of trying.
Since that experience, I’ve begun to give more effort to whatever I do. I have begun eating healthier (weird side effect: I suddenly lost all interest in junk food straight after).
I didn’t have the mad hyperspace experience… maybe I need to take more… maybe I can’t because of this weird ‘semi-kinda’ version of aphantasia I have. But, in all honesty, I’m not fussed about it: I am so grateful to have had that experience and, while I’ll definitely go again, I’m not in a rush and I’m just enjoying the benefits that I’ve experienced from it. Maybe I’ll get to see the fractals and elves one day…
I’d love to hear from folk who might’ve had any similar experiences. Especially since it feels some of the ‘classic’ DMT trip report items (fractals, entities) weren’t there for me.
Thanks for reading!!
Background
I’m an active 30-odd year old male in good mental health. Prior to this, my only experience with any drugs was cannabis - I had never tried psychedelics. DMT appealed to me for a few reasons: the short duration of its effect… intense visuals… But, most importantly, how often people talked about learning about themselves through the experience. I love learning and I seen it as an opportunity to learn more about myself. I seen, and still do see, DMT as a critical friend.
Also, to note, while I don’t believe I suffer from aphantasia, my dreams and closed eye visualisations have always felt like they’ve been viewed through some really strong sunglasses: colours are very muted, shapes aren’t always super clear.
Attempt 1
I won’t spend too much time giving context about this… long and short, I had a sore throat (turned out to be the flu) and was nervous so took two small draws of the cart which had minimal effect beyond very slightly enhanced colours when watching TV. I had a friend ‘spot’ me for this. It did give me some comfort that I wouldn’t have a seriously negative effect from the DMT cart.
Attempt 2
I had decided that day that I was going to try again, but this time take larger draws, hold for longer, with a view of having a more noticeable effect.
I set myself up in my home, and took two draws: 5 seconds in, 5 seconds hold, and exhale.
Immediately, my heart rate went up. Nothing wild, but it was definitely elevated… as if I had ran for a bus. I was looking out the window, expecting to see visuals. Nothing. The tiles on a nearby roof looked different, almost as if the contrast had been messed with. But that was it.
Still nothing. I took another draw: 7-8 seconds in, held for as long as I could, exhaled/ coughed.
My body began to get warm. My eyes were closing. It felt so pleasant: as if I was falling asleep, warm in my bed. I want to get up to shut the blinds, and the window, but I couldn’t. But not in a paralysis kinda way, more a ‘I have no desire to’ way. My brain tells me: you’re about to die. This is it.
I had a brief state of panic, but was able to quickly calm myself down. I went from thinking “I’m going to die” to “I am okay with dying” real quick. I leaned back, eyes struggling to stay open.
My eyes closed. I didn’t think I had passed out, but in hindsight I most likely did as it felt so much like the last moments before you fall asleep.
Same as always, visuals are dark but I see them. I’m in some weird side street. Think of the alley in Ed, Edd n Eddy. There’s a person made of cardboard, slouched over as if they’re a drunk in a movie. But their legs are folded in a zig-zag fashion. They’re trying to get up but their legs are not able to support them.
I wasn’t scared, more just observing this person try to get up.
I’m immediately in a swirling, colourful tunnel, and I’m travelling down it slowly. The tunnel begins to smooth out. Initially facing into the tunnel, I’m now facing towards the side of the tunnel as I witness a car (looked like some hot wheels car based off an American muscle car) get sucked in through the tunnel and the car, and I, get spat out.
I’m suddenly watching a spaceship get ready for blast off. It’s at nighttime. It’s cartoony from what I can remember. I’m really close to the shuttle. The countdown seems to be happening, even though there’s no visible counter. I feel the countdown is happening. Smoke is spewing from the bottom of the shuttle, but it never launches. It seems to sit there for minutes, but nothing. It stays there.
I wake up. It felt like I was away for like 30-45 mins. Nope: about 10 between taking the last draw and waking up.
I just sat there for about 10-15 mins afterwards. The window was open (somewhere for the smoke to go), I could hear people outside: someone using a drill. The roof looks normal. I’m back.
Afterwards
I knew integration was important, so I spent some time thinking about what that could mean. Some of it I’m still trying to figure out (what was that cardboard person all about?!), but other bits I’ve found to be insightful: I’m terrible for starting things or not giving 100% to things, and I feel the rocket nearly blasting off, but not blasting off, represents that.
I also tend to be quite anxious but, having faced the notion of dying and accepting it, I feel more confident in committing to things I’m scared of trying.
Since that experience, I’ve begun to give more effort to whatever I do. I have begun eating healthier (weird side effect: I suddenly lost all interest in junk food straight after).
I didn’t have the mad hyperspace experience… maybe I need to take more… maybe I can’t because of this weird ‘semi-kinda’ version of aphantasia I have. But, in all honesty, I’m not fussed about it: I am so grateful to have had that experience and, while I’ll definitely go again, I’m not in a rush and I’m just enjoying the benefits that I’ve experienced from it. Maybe I’ll get to see the fractals and elves one day…
I’d love to hear from folk who might’ve had any similar experiences. Especially since it feels some of the ‘classic’ DMT trip report items (fractals, entities) weren’t there for me.
Thanks for reading!!
