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jamesjudo

Rising Star
So today i had my first experience with ayahuasca.I started with so little that i thought very little was going to happen.Man was i wrong.
1:00 started brewing the caapi ,about 3 tablespoons worth of powder.
1:30 drank about half the caapi.mixed 1/2 tablespoon mimosa in with the rest.
1:45 body feels a little heavy, very comfortable feeling throughout my body.began drinking the rest of the cappi+mimosa.As soon as i did my tongue started getting this weird tingling sensation.
2:00 start feeling a little odd,decide to come on to the chat room.

After this point time stopped being linear.Everyday objects started looking very odd and chromatic.At this point i began to fear that this was getting out of control.around this time the first peak came on.Whenever i would touch my face my hands would feel like they were melting into it.My prospective was constantly shifting,i felt like i was in a dozen places at once.At this point you guys probably can make more sense out of time then me but this was around the time i started talking to kartikay (thank you so much!!!) and was really getting scared to death via the endless loop.When i would close my eyes i would see these math equations in a gold light but i was so frightened and confused i didn't know how to calm myself down.I seemly come off one peak and 15-30 mins.(i guessing here) go into another one.In one of these i was looking at my hand and it looked like it was slightly bluish and i got the impression that it was young again somehow.on another it looked to me like my computer was made of bright metal and my door was orange.I also noticed i was shaking and again time seem to jump back and forth constantly,more so in the latter peaks.eventually although it seem impossible at the time i started coming back to myself.I was/am amazed and shell-shocked.I think i really need to analyze this experience before i go further but I'm glad i took aya(there were points when i thought i was crazy to have taken it)
I think I'll have more to say later but i guess that's it for tonight,thank you so much guys,we're all in this togther!!!!
 
Pandora said:
jamesjudo,

Great report man! Hope to see you around. You are part of the Nexus now.

Peace & Love,
Pandora
Click to expand...
Thanks dude!
You and the other guys were invaluable and I'm so happy just to know you! Waking up this morning i feel awesome like a kid on Christmas.I can't seem to believe that in points in my trip it felt like it was going so wrong.It amazing how I feel.I think that somehow aya is still at work in deep ways and I feel like now that I stepped into the pool the worst is behind me.Like maybe the fear in the trip was really fear about life,you know.I mean life and the people of the world(mostly the people!) can be scary sometimes! But it was like even though i was scared i made it!!!
WOOHOOO!
PEACE and talk to you guys later!
 
Awesome james, just awesome. After my first journey with mimosa, I could feel it working in the background for a while after. There's just so much to be done!
 
3maester said:
Thanks for this man. Sounds a lot like my recent first time. I made the tea casually just wanting to get a taste of it to see what I was in for. Made a low dose drank it without expecting much, and was completely blown away with the most spiritual experience I've ever had.

It's like taking all the feelings you had through childhood and condensing them into a couple hours times ten. The fear, the wonder, the newness, the love, the scolding, and best of all that Christmas feeling.

Enjoy that afterglow its the best ever. There's no doubt about it this is a serious and very powerful medicine.

Hope to hear more soon. Next time you should lie down in darkness and close your eyes...
Click to expand...

Absolutely.It is just like a huge condenser of all human emotion.Next time i think I feel much better about just letting go and experiencing what ever happens.I think aya was in a sense protecting me for there were several moments in the trip where if i closed my eyes i think i would have been gone.I really don't think their is any way to prepare for the experience,it was so strong and amazing! I do plan to take aya again maybe as soon as next weekend.As for aya being a powerful medicine i agree 100%,it is SERIOUS.What so funny is that in a way it separates your mind into multiple levels.Like at one point in the trip i was really scared on like a ego/controll/higher brain sense and yet my subconsciousness was like laugh and just let go.I remember smiling widely and that "everyday" part of my brain that wants to have control of everything was like this is insane!!!!
I think deep down somewhere we "know" tripping good for us but all are lives society has been so a negative influnce we don't even remember what it takes us to be truely happy(love,ect.)
I'm glad you enjoyed my post and i would love to read about your experiance too!
 
Hi jamesjudo,

I keep watching this post and your comments are amazing man! Wow, you really got it. And to take so much from an initial and challenging experience . . .:d

jamesjudo said:
Waking up this morning i feel awesome like a kid on Christmas.
Click to expand...
It's interesting how this effect can frequently follow both awesome AND challenging experiences. Have an extreme, novelty-rocking experience, and one does tend to find a new appreciation for the everyday and mundane. :d

jamesjudo said:
I think that somehow aya is still at work in deep ways and I feel like now that I stepped into the pool the worst is behind me.Like maybe the fear in the trip was really fear about life,you know.I mean life and the people of the world(mostly the people!) can be scary sometimes!
Click to expand...
Wow. These sentences resonate deeply with me. I am confident that these statements have a universal/fundamental human truth to them. jamesjudo, you are beginning to find out who you truly are.:d

jamesjudo said:
I think aya was in a sense protecting me for there were several moments in the trip where if i closed my eyes i think i would have been gone.I really don't think their is any way to prepare for the experience,it was so strong and amazing!
Click to expand...
I'm on shaky territory here as an aya virgin. But, I do have some psychedelic experience, so . . . I suspect that if you had closed your eyes you would have been gone. Speaking for my pharma and smoked DMT experiences, this is an amazing process. Trust in yourself. Trust in your "wetware." No matter where you go, you will always return.

Different people prepare in different ways for aya (and other ceremonies) with differing results. Each person must find what works for him/her. I believe that there are some ways to try to prepare for such an experience, but like a lot of things in adult life, only the experience itself can truly speak for itself. Sounds like you were spoken to. :d

jamesjudo said:
I think deep down somewhere we "know" tripping good for us but all are lives society has been so a negative influnce we don't even remember what it takes us to be truely happy(love,ect.)
Click to expand...
Well stated! And seconded!

Peace & Love,
Pandora

P.S.: jamesjudo, your comments and thoughts have brought a sense of lightness and joy to a very stressful day for me. Thank you very much.
 
Pandora said:
Hi jamesjudo,

I keep watching this post and your comments are amazing man! Wow, you really got it. And to take so much from an initial and challenging experience . . .:d

jamesjudo said:
Waking up this morning i feel awesome like a kid on Christmas.
Click to expand...
It's interesting how this effect can frequently follow both awesome AND challenging experiences. Have an extreme, novelty-rocking experience, and one does tend to find a new appreciation for the everyday and mundane. :d

jamesjudo said:
I think that somehow aya is still at work in deep ways and I feel like now that I stepped into the pool the worst is behind me.Like maybe the fear in the trip was really fear about life,you know.I mean life and the people of the world(mostly the people!) can be scary sometimes!
Click to expand...
Wow. These sentences resonate deeply with me. I am confident that these statements have a universal/fundamental human truth to them. jamesjudo, you are beginning to find out who you truly are.:d

jamesjudo said:
I think aya was in a sense protecting me for there were several moments in the trip where if i closed my eyes i think i would have been gone.I really don't think their is any way to prepare for the experience,it was so strong and amazing!
Click to expand...
I'm on shaky territory here as an aya virgin. But, I do have some psychedelic experience, so . . . I suspect that if you had closed your eyes you would have been gone. Speaking for my pharma and smoked DMT experiences, this is an amazing process. Trust in yourself. Trust in your "wetware." No matter where you go, you will always return.

Different people prepare in different ways for aya (and other ceremonies) with differing results. Each person must find what works for him/her. I believe that there are some ways to try to prepare for such an experience, but like a lot of things in adult life, only the experience itself can truly speak for itself. Sounds like you were spoken to. :d

jamesjudo said:
I think deep down somewhere we "know" tripping good for us but all are lives society has been so a negative influnce we don't even remember what it takes us to be truely happy(love,ect.)
Click to expand...
Well stated! And seconded!

Peace & Love,
Pandora

P.S.: jamesjudo, your comments and thoughts have brought a sense of lightness and joy to a very stressful day for me. Thank you very much.
Click to expand...


Thanks dude! I'm really glad you enjoyed my post and I just am glad I made your day even a little bit better!
The more I think about my first experience the more it surprises and amazes me.I remember all these little things now that at the time made no sense but are becoming increasingly more profound by the day.Like I remember entangling my fingers together,like if i was praying and getting the sense like they were melting or fusing together.At the time it was odd and scary but now it's like that is part of the healing process,in a sense your fusing yourself back together stronger then your were.Also one thing i realize now is that setting has a huge impact on your experience.Like my computer looked very metallic and unreal,whereas these painting I have in my room looked totally normal.It seemed like the more organic the object the less unreal or chromatic it looked and the more fusing could be accomplished.
 
Hi guys,just wondering on your opinion on something.On my next voyage with aya how many of you guys think I should try it in the evening/night? I think i will be using right around the dosage i used the first time but was wondering what time you guys prefer.Here are some of the advantages/disadvantages i can think of in regards to time.

Daytime advantages:
1: comforting,for some reason i was very glad it was day last time because since my time perception was off the daylight was one of my only means to follow the flow of time.
2: Gave me a period in the evening to calm down and relax before bed.Since the experience can be so intense I'm doubtful you could fall asleep directly after.

daytime disadvantages:
1: I'm thinking that the limited visuals of my first experience compared to other effects may be due to excessive light in my environment.

The nighttime advantages and disadvantages are of course the opposite of the daytime.
So what do you guys think?
 
I always prefer to ingest the sacrament an hour or so before sunset. This allows the sunset itself to be enhanced, and the bulk of the journey to occur at night.

The exception of this is with LSD... because by the end of it I'm jet-lagged to hell.
 
hey guys! Well I'm only day or two away from my second aya experience which I'm looking forward too very much! This week been kind of crazy at school and combine that with a few family issues and it's been a very long week!!!!
I feel like I'm not really prepared for the ayahusaca in one way but I feel much better this time out as i feel that being prepared is next to impossible.I also feel that with continued use things will get easier over time and certain aspects of the experience will mellow as my resistance to them decreases.I think this time perhaps laying down and listing to icoros or other music may be southing.My hopes for this journey are go wherever aya wants to take me and know I'll return.I hope to speak to you guys soon and hopefully if my computer's fixed by that time return to the chat room as another's presence during the trip is certainly comforting!(damn i wish i had a sitter)

Peace guys and talk to you soon!
 
jamesjudo said:
hey guys! Well I'm only day or two away from my second aya experience which I'm looking forward too very much! This week been kind of crazy at school and combine that with a few family issues and it's been a very long week!!!!
I feel like I'm not really prepared for the ayahusaca in one way but I feel much better this time out as i feel that being prepared is next to impossible.I also feel that with continued use things will get easier over time and certain aspects of the experience will mellow as my resistance to them decreases.I think this time perhaps laying down and listing to icoros or other music may be southing.My hopes for this journey are go wherever aya wants to take me and know I'll return.I hope to speak to you guys soon and hopefully if my computer's fixed by that time return to the chat room as another's presence during the trip is certainly comforting!(damn i wish i had a sitter)

Peace guys and talk to you soon!
Click to expand...


Remember to meditate in a darkish environment next to a bucket. Be comfortable, and sit still. Let it flow through you. Bliss.
Ask questions, and make music!
 
jamesjudo said:
hey guys! Well I'm only day or two away from my second aya experience which I'm looking forward too very much! This week been kind of crazy at school and combine that with a few family issues and it's been a very long week!!!!
I feel like I'm not really prepared for the ayahusaca in one way but I feel much better this time out as i feel that being prepared is next to impossible.I also feel that with continued use things will get easier over time and certain aspects of the experience will mellow as my resistance to them decreases.I think this time perhaps laying down and listing to icoros or other music may be southing.My hopes for this journey are go wherever aya wants to take me and know I'll return.I hope to speak to you guys soon and hopefully if my computer's fixed by that time return to the chat room as another's presence during the trip is certainly comforting!(damn i wish i had a sitter)

Peace guys and talk to you soon!
Click to expand...


jamesjudo,

Sounds like a good plan. ۩ offers rock-solid advice.

Good journeys and hope to see you in chat soon.

Peace & Love,
Pandora
 
Hi guys.Just wanted to write about my first thoughts about my second aya journey which took place yesterday.I took it in the morning and thought that maybe I should reduce the dose of mimosa to caapi so instead of a 1/2 to 2/3 of a tablespoons of mimosa i went with about a quarter.The caapi was about the same at 3-4 tablespoons.The first thing i noticed was the taste.For some reason yesterday the taste was much more potent then last time and fairly immediately I began to feel sick.For about 20 mins. I continued to drink the caapi and then went on to the caapi+mimosa blend.After this i went to sit in the sun and despite feeling a little sick to my stomach felt pretty good.About 20-30 min. went by in this fashion and then suddenly i began to feel a little nervous and felt this strange sense of doom very much like last time.At this time I began to get up and pace around as this seemed to make me somewhat less nervous.Also at this point i could tell the aya was in effect as I started to experience melting esp. of my hands and my hands looked young(and like very small,it's difficult to describe.) again similar to last time I took aya.I then decided to come online and talk in the chat for a few min. which I sure some of you who were on at that time remember.Then suddenly i began to feel very sick to my stomach and decided i had to go to the bathroom.At first i did't feel like i needed to throw up but i decided to stay for a min or two just in case.Suddenly I had this odd sensation in my chest like i was having a heart attack or something and I was like WTF?? Then Vomit exploded(and i do mean exploded) in the tolit as I had my first purge.It's hard to describe but i don't really feel like it felt like normal throwing up at all.It felt more like a bomb had gone off in my stomach or a geyser or something.After this I don't think i knew how to react and so I just went back into my room.Soon after my father came home which was really cool and this next part of the experience was probably my favorite.Me and my dad went down to town to go shopping and going while under aya(albeit a lite dose) was very interesting.Soon though we came home and I decided to cook a little something to settle my stomach.(eggs and toast with link. sag) By this point i was feeling still weird but medium,and like manageable.After eating however was a different story.As soon as i started eating i realized that the food tasted really weird and different.Still i enjoyed it and after finishing I decided to lay down for a little while and watch tv(bonanza).Within 15 min. of eating i realized i was feeling very weird again and also my dad had to leave for work which made me feel depressed.I noticed a return of melting and I began to feel scared again(a very common sensation for me on aya and I'm begining to belive perhaps a opening of repressed emotions.I felt at this point that the bonaza episode i was watching was very important and that i had to watch it or the fear would overwhelm me.After watching it i began to feel depressed it was over and also that i was alone and lonely.Also at this point my grandmother returned home so i decided to return to my room which i did not feel good about for some reason.I then logged on to the dmt nexus chat and was comforted by house,pandora,endlessness and the rest of the gang and so began to feel slightly better if a bit depressed.This continued until the evening with a slow but steady betterment of my mood until around bedtime i was feeling quite good even! So by this point i was exhausted but i felt like "well,i made it through and it was interesting if confusing and scary".At this point(around 10:30) I decided to go to sleep.Suffice it to say I thought by this point the experience was over(and in a sense it was,directly at least) but by the morning i discovered i was wrong as I had a very strange and quite vivid dream.Hopefully soon i will be able to recounted this dream to you guys in greater detail but for a basic version here it is/was

1: at the beginning me and this other guy(maybe was my brother in the dream/very strange to me since I'm a only child) were like chaseing this guy or something,we were like private eyes.

2:then suddenly both of us got hurt,like we both hurt our eyes.

3: we went to the hospital and there was this woman doctor who took him off to surgery and told me i might need to have eye surgery too even though i wasn't hurt as bad as the other guy(brother).I didn't want to have surgery but she said she promised me nothing bad would happen and i needed it and i look into the mirror and saw my right eye was bloodshot.And so I agreed to go into surgery since she had promissed.

4:The dream changed and now i was in this like big auditorium but i got this sense i was like in a learning environment/college?

5: then i began to hear some of my favorite songs like some nirvana but the notes sounded different,it was so strange.

Well that all i can stand to write for now but i'm sure i'll have more thoughts upon it later,
I tell you guys aya can sure be exhausting sometimes!!!!!!
Peace.
 
Hey James, glad to hear that you've made it through again! Many of the longer acting entheogens can be exhausting and emotionally draining, particularly at medium-low doses. Back when I did such things, I would start a healing series off with a high dose followed by a few low dose sessions. In my experience, the high dose provided the faith and energy to work effectively with the low dose sessions (often much more uncomfortable and dealing with personal content). I learned of this style of working from The Secret Chief: Conversations with a Pioneer of the Underground Psychedelic Therapy Movement (complete book there).

Often in traditional dream interpretation, a brother indicates the unintegrated aspects of ourselves.

Thank you for continuing to share your journeys.
 
ragabr said:
Hey James, glad to hear that you've made it through again! Many of the longer acting entheogens can be exhausting and emotionally draining, particularly at medium-low doses. Back when I did such things, I would start a healing series off with a high dose followed by a few low dose sessions. In my experience, the high dose provided the faith and energy to work effectively with the low dose sessions (often much more uncomfortable and dealing with personal content). I learned of this style of working from The Secret Chief: Conversations with a Pioneer of the Underground Psychedelic Therapy Movement (complete book there).

Often in traditional dream interpretation, a brother indicates the unintegrated aspects of ourselves.

Thank you for continuing to share your journeys.
Click to expand...


Does it really? I find that quite interesting.I am also comforted that others share the same anxiety as I have read in some of the trip reports.That makes me feel a lot better to know I'm not the only one who faces this.
Thanks again for your post ragabr!!
 
Just wanted to check in guys and give a little update on how i'm doing.Had a long week but did brew up b. cappi and let it sit overnight which then made a excellent tea the next morning!! Had some intense and kind of personal dreams last night so it obviously has effects even on it's own though very different then with mimosa.Hope you guys are doing well and peace!!!
 
Hi jamesjudo,

You are not alone. A lot of us deal with fear and other strong emotions when we work with psychedelics. This may or may not be repressed material. Your honesty with yourself and willingness to look inward make me believe you are on the right path.

Great idea to try the B. Caapi tea only! It's the best way to start out. I have read this over and over. Personally, I am not able to go further than B. Caapi tea with ayahuasca at this point. But, the B. Caapi is psychedelic and strong medicine in its own right. It is also a powerful antidepressant

I know it is hard, but when not feeling ill, you really might want to try lying down, just trying to let go and closing your eyes for some of the intense moments. Observe the visions without judging. Defer judgement until the next day, if possible.

I am glad you are part of the Nexus community.

Peace & Love,
Pandora
 
Pandora said:
Hi jamesjudo,

You are not alone. A lot of us deal with fear and other strong emotions when we work with psychedelics. This may or may not be repressed material. Your honesty with yourself and willingness to look inward make me believe you are on the right path.

Great idea to try the B. Caapi tea only! It's the best way to start out. I have read this over and over. Personally, I am not able to go further than B. Caapi tea with ayahuasca at this point. But, the B. Caapi is psychedelic and strong medicine in its own right. It is also a powerful antidepressant

I know it is hard, but when not feeling ill, you really might want to try lying down, just trying to let go and closing your eyes for some of the intense moments. Observe the visions without judging. Defer judgement until the next day, if possible.

I am glad you are part of the Nexus community.

Peace & Love,
Pandora
Click to expand...

thanks Pandora ,your great as always!
it funny too because I been having these dreams on what seem to be an increasing basis.Unlike my normal dreams which normally don't have much direct context these seem too,having people I know in them but they are also very strange and I don't know quite what to make of them.
 
Just writing in too tell you guys that the dreams continue!!!!!!
Last night i had one in which i was first at the hunting camp in which me and my dad plan to go hunting this year.I then remember that i was meeting this myriad series of other teens and we then decided to go somewhere upon which i became Jack black.Then i remember that i came to this place upon which their was these unlimited chairs,like the metal kind you flip out to sit upon.For some reason in a fever i began to knock down these chairs with a wooden cane that had appeared in my hand.After doing this for some time I seen these 2 chairs that were upon other chairs and were like emanating this presence like they were the center of the universe.I suddenly got goose bumbs and had this insane sensation(fear,awe,too many senses to count) like i had made this grand realization that i never had before at which point i woke up.
What do you guys think of these series of dreams?????
 
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