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Fledgling Psychonaut

G

goohead

Rising Star
Greetings,
I'm an 18 year old kid, who's fascinated by entheogenic compounds such as DMT. My background is pretty much being one of those "erowid kids" who just reads up on various substances and thinks he knows it all. I'm not that arrogant, but it sometimes comes across like that. To get a better idea of why I'm here, I'll give you an idea about the first post I'm planning to make. You see, a few weeks ago, I delved into my mind with the assistance of mushrooms. What I found was terrifying, and gut wrenchingly raw. I haven't read any good enough description of ego death to call my experience the same thing, but I suspect it was something similar.

My brain, I suspect, blocked out much of my journey, as I don't remember very much, except some of those moments of fear and anxiety. I did a lot of things wrong in preparation for my journey; I know it sounds like I'm being too negative about it, but believe me, I would do it all over again. I wanted to ask you guys, how you come back from such an intense journey into the deepest corners of your minds, and continue to live your lives as usual. During my journey I felt an intangible but ironclad connection to my family, my friends, and gained deep insights into the transient nature of life. Of course, after the effects of the mushrooms wore off, I was left with all of this food for thought, but no one to relate it too. I just wanted to change my life and tell my family how I felt, but they weren't there with me, and would probably suspect something was awry. I don't remember what exactly led to me saying this during my trip, but I distinctly remember saying over and over again "how can we go back to the real world, knowing what we know now?". I suspect my not remembering the trip may have been my brain's way of calming me down.

I suspect that if there wasn't as much of a stigma around these beautiful substances, I would be able to talk openly about this amongst my family and "go back to the real world" successfully, without "wasting" the insights that the mushrooms provided me.

I'm really curious for your thoughts on this. Also, have any of you felt anything similar with any other substance, whether it be LSA, LSD, DMT, or salvia?

(this was my idea for my first non-nursery post, but it just flowed out, so I hope enough people see it and can give me feedback)

EDIT: THIS post is probably the reason I joined. I absolutely detest those who disrespect the power of these chemicals and I'm glad to be surrounded by like minded and more experienced people.
 
Welcome! Sounds like you had an initiation by fire. It is really terrible and unjust that we have to hide our experiences and break the law in order to do what to us is a necessary exploration. I don't know how and why I kept taking psychedelics after my first bad trip. I do feel that however I was able to persist in my exploration that it has given me much inner strength and personal knowledge. All the substances you list have the potential for a terrifying experience, the trick is in learning to transcend being terrified and then all that energy that goes into the terror can be savored and even harassed or I should say gently guided. The potential experiences are beyond explanation or description. Good luck!
 
I definitely savored the terror. The way I see it, there's no such thing as a "bad trip" if you're learning things.
 
So true, and great point, although if you don't relax the terror and let it go it can be quite devastating. Some people come away only learning the meaning of terror.
 
Wow goohead, you are just like me. I am also somewhat of an erowid kid. My first mushroom trip was extremely like yours. It was somewhat of a "bad" trip, as in the feelings were overwhelming. After I was done, I knew that I was changed forever. I sometimes wonder, Maybe this is how the human mind is really supposed to work. The feeling of nothingness, not knowing anything, my instincts completely destroyed and my curiosity unleashed to its fullest. When I peaked on shrooms, my phrase was "This must be what it feels like to be insane" I could not relate to anyone, friends or family, to tell them how I felt about the situation. They would not be able to understand.

I also became attached to nature. I feel like every time I do shrooms, My mind grows a bit, I become a stronger person psychologicly, It is both a blessing and a curse.

I make LSA a bunch, I highly recomend it, Just make sure you start with small doses, becasue it can become overwellming. After LSA, I would also recomend mescaline. I heard it is very similar to psilobin (mushroom chemichal)
You can eat San Pedro Cactus, to initiate a mushroom like trip, with strong hallucinations. Also, many of these hallucinagens cause nausea, and often vomiting. This is not only uncomfortable for many, but can also make your trip shorter as you are pucking up the substances that you ingested.

To get rid of the nausea, Many people on this site recomend Datura seeds, specifically the jimsonweed strain. These seeds take away many of the bad effects of hallucinagens, and they also act as a strong potenator. BE CAREFULL AS TOO MUCH ARE VERY TOXIC!!!

ONLY TAKE 3, NEVER TAKE MORE THEN 10 A DAY UNLESS YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!!! 3 are perfectly safe.

Welcome to the world of hallucinagens,
maxzar100

p.s. hey man we should talk some time about the mushroom trips, pm me if you are interested.
 
This makes me wonder about "drug induced psychosis". It's not that strange that some people go nuts because they lack the supportive patterns of the society they live in, when it comes to dealing with their mind shattering experiences.
 
thats true, I think some people, including myself, do go crazy for a short while. But by doing so, you are able to strengthen your mind. It is like working out. You work out, tear your muscles, and then they regrow stronger. For psychedelics, you take them, go insane, then become a stronger and smarter person mentally.
 
Hey man welcome to the forum, Trust me i can understand you really really well. Coz first psychedelic trip of my life was similar or may be worse. I took 700-750mcg acid by mistake :p:p without even knowing a shit about its effects expecting to hallucinate and get sum spiritual experience kinda things. When my friend said we are opening the doors of perception i didnt know what he meant by perceptions. Then i understood when i found myself in a perception salad or Synaesthesia, and getting lost in my minds narrow corridors of madness or the labyrinths or whatever you call them i totally understand you. I dont know if you experienced dissolvng into cosmos feelings, not feeling you are breathing for hours or other terrifying trips that i had.

It made me say this is the first and last time for me. It took me a long time to understand the trip and left some permanent changes in my mind but i was able to control them in a good way, i suppose you did the same or otherwise you wouldn't be here writing this message right? confusions time to time and "where am i?" feeling is something you can learn to control after a very short while, may be unsane but not insae at all. Seing people dropping bombs on each other, killing each other for resources and that kinda behavoir you will be able to make the comparison between real sane and insane.. and will come to a conclusion that nobody is sane :) coz existance/reality itself is not sane. So dont think you are not normal or something, you will become a more logical and creative person when all that confusion will find a peace in ur mind.

Yea as you said i dont also remember most of the trip except the first hour after start which was very intense nice acid trip if u ask me with my mentality at the moment :) but the rest was total chaos. what do you mean by "Going back to real world" ? its an empty chase, you are in normal world now. if you think you are not, and having some kinda psychological issues i will be so glad to help and show you the way through, so you can handle the things in ur mind and fix things up for urself. Coz i know it can be hard for any person.

Just to let you know things need time my friend and the things you experienced probably shown you more than a human should handle, more like you have been told the secret now :). But thats ok just dont judge anything you will recover soon im sure, you are still alive :), never look for reasons, dont make comparisons with people coz the truth is so cheap and dirty that actually people are somehow unsane coz they wanna avoid going insane thinking about existance, and some other spiritual things or whatever you know what i exactly mean. Thats the main reason human feels need to believe and religions exist. To avoid many questions and be able to live easily.

And be sure DMT is a much smoother and gentle substance. However the overdoses can be similar to overdose of other psychedelics but not so brutal experiences and its not a 8-10 hour trip like acid, just a few minutes.

Feel free to PM and ask about any weird thing going in ur mind anytime u want, im sure u gonna find more people having such kinda experiences here too. :p i call this learning to respect the substance from the hard way.

Peace!
 
maxzar100 said:
thats true, I think some people, including myself, do go crazy for a short while. But by doing so, you are able to strengthen your mind. It is like working out. You work out, tear your muscles, and then they regrow stronger. For psychedelics, you take them, go insane, then become a stronger and smarter person mentally.
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wow nice to see another person here with same mentality and had similar experience :):). dudes i started to like this forum more than ever now :D:D thats exactly how i call it btw, like pushing 300 on bench press i pushed 300mcg in spiritual kinda :p haha.. damn ya its a kinda brain stretchin or exercise. and for sure makes u more stronger.

maxzar100 said:
I also became attached to nature. I feel like every time I do shrooms, My mind grows a bit, I become a stronger person psychologicly, It is both a blessing and a curse.
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Same here, :p learning to respect the nature, only treasure we have, the one which gives u the chance to live, ur home..
--

Goohead, you will notice when you get over all of these, the simple emotional things that affect other people will not affect you that much and will not get confused as they do coz uve already seen much further. They say doing psychedelics make you insane, but as long as u dont endup in a sanitarium slaping your own cheek all the day, dribbling your tongue outside and one of your eyes lookin at the ceiling and other one to the ground you are ok. That means you have passed the test and you are much stronger now. You see i told u there are other ppl like us on the forum, learning from a hard way. But u had that experience once dont chase for another one like u said you can do it all over again thats not logical keep at medium doses, know your substance know your spirit :p :)
 
@maxzar100, that was my trip exactly. Also, I've heard from some of my friends who have safely used datura that it can blur your vision for a few days after taking it. I doubt I'd be able to take a few days off of school because of that :D I'm going to look into LSA. Right now, I'm considering looking at online vendors of possibly the 2-C family or salvia/ayahuasca. We should definitely talk about shroom trips more.

@corridors, what I meant by "going back to the real world" was: how am I supposed to go back living in the superficial, money-centered world, seeing what I've just seen, and realizing what I've just realized. I guess my brain "made me" forget a fair bit of it for my own good. I'm doing fine now, but feel a little dishonest to myself because while in the shroomiverse, I didn't want to be "fine" again, because the revelations were too true. I may have sounded too dramatic in my original post, but I really enjoyed it, and I'm not damaged in any way at all.

Also, I completely agree with temporary insanity. After my trip, I went to wikipedia and found that I was exhibiting many of the symptoms of catatonic and paranoid schizophrenia, for the duration of my trip. It was a fascinating insight into how "crazy" people work.
 
oh, that bluriness is good to know. Just ordered 100 jimsoweed (datura) seeds, so I will test this out when I make my LSH in a few days. Still dont have the right mint though...
 
goohead said:
@corridors, what I meant by "going back to the real world" was: how am I supposed to go back living in the superficial, money-centered world, seeing what I've just seen, and realizing what I've just realized. I guess my brain "made me" forget a fair bit of it for my own good. I'm doing fine now, but feel a little dishonest to myself because while in the shroomiverse, I didn't want to be "fine" again, because the revelations were too true. I may have sounded too dramatic in my original post, but I really enjoyed it, and I'm not damaged in any way at all.

Also, I completely agree with temporary insanity. After my trip, I went to wikipedia and found that I was exhibiting many of the symptoms of catatonic and paranoid schizophrenia, for the duration of my trip. It was a fascinating insight into how "crazy" people work.
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I see what you mean now by real world. Your mind needs time to digest your experiences and come to meaningful conclussions. Give everything some time may be few motnhs, may be a year, or may be few weeks. But total adaptation back into system will only happen when you can really understand the human disguising of feelings and everything, and being able to make the judgement of which disguises u need, where to act like human eventho it doesnt look logical with ur mentality atm. So long story's short will need some time to mimic some human behavoir and which things to mimic when necessary, and which are ethic when you dont mimic. No further than that.

If you try the other way and keep asking yourself such questions you will be pushing on your psyche and soul to change things for urself and that will not change anthing anyways :p. Coz imagine you are asking a question like "how come after knowing there is no god, i can believe in a god?". and yea the answer you expect is not "just believe in him and he will come to you" right :p

So what im saying; enjoy living whatever your mind is making you live like. You are already doing that as you said and its gud :p:p, idea comes idea goes, be a little transparent and wide about everything, give them pass so they dont keep stuckin in you and creating confusions. you dont need to be superficial you will see, you know somethings that they dont know, how come you expect to live a superficial life. what im saying is when like what you are, you will get much faster improvement you will see. But will never be a 100% superficial person anymore :p, the beauty is in details trust me ;).

Thats what they call consciousness or awareness my friend :). You are aware of somethings, the revelations were true trust me eheheh. I already said all i can say. Hope you found it helpful.
 
Also goohead you were shown that experience for a reason and must now integrate these aspects into your life, you can't really talk about it to anyone, even some more openminded peers will be scared. Our society has been conditioned into a set of preconcieved notions very insidiously and no ammount of convincing on our human part is able to break it. (in fact it is my suspicion its some sort of powerful spell related to money, but thats another story.)

However it is important to remember that when you contact these other realms your are participating in an activity which in my opinion the plant teachers want you to do, and you will be rewarded with opportunities in your life to incorporate your newfound perspective. (I know technically fungi arent plants but you know what I mean. Science isn't the big boss anyways.)

Best of luck thoough reintegration can be tough, Ive had trips on mushrooms in the woods overnight where our whole society seems backwards and even doorknobs felt super alien the next day.

peace and love
 
turtleman, I had a similar thought about money. I'm not able to articulate it any more, but I know what you're saying.

corridors, I totally understand what you're saying. I'm not sure I want to reintegrate any more.

turtleman's sig quote is very true, as well as this quote I found by Jiddu Krishnamurti:
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
 
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