A recurrent theme of my LSD experiences is the inability to perceive myself. By that I mean that, whenever I try, I find that trying to look at myself is like trying to turn the mind's eye inside out. I'm not using the word "self" to refer to my body or even my personality, but am using it to refer to the singular point of awareness from which perception stems. Thus looking into a mirror does not accomplish self-experience either. Even if the minds eye were in two places at once, it would take some time for the informational signal to traverse the distance between the two selves. So I don't deny that I can experience my past self. My attempts at self experience usually involve some sort of analogue to a physical sensory organ. For example, such attempts may seem to occur with the use of a metaphysical eye, ear, or finger, and getting close to acheiving that experience feels like being sucked into an infinite loop (not surprisingly, since I'm trying to look at myself looking at myself looking at myself...). So eventually I realized that I might be able to use this apparent phenomenon to define the self: "My self is that which is imperceivable to me" meaning that if I try to perceive something, and I can't do it, then it must be myself.
The definition still doesn't satisfy me because it doesn't seem to differentiate the imperceivability of myself from other types of imperceivability such as the imperceivability of things outside of my light cone (a special relativity concept) or the imperceivability of any objective object (the "thing in itself" ). My girlfriend aptly pointed out that I cannot perceive her mind's eye. So it seems that, from one interpretation, this definition of the self requires that the self encompasses all things, which is a conclusion that I've already accepted for other seemingly unrelated reasons.
So my question is whether or not anybody else has experienced this same phenomenon or has struggled with the concept of viewing the self.
Thanks
Andy
The definition still doesn't satisfy me because it doesn't seem to differentiate the imperceivability of myself from other types of imperceivability such as the imperceivability of things outside of my light cone (a special relativity concept) or the imperceivability of any objective object (the "thing in itself" ). My girlfriend aptly pointed out that I cannot perceive her mind's eye. So it seems that, from one interpretation, this definition of the self requires that the self encompasses all things, which is a conclusion that I've already accepted for other seemingly unrelated reasons.
So my question is whether or not anybody else has experienced this same phenomenon or has struggled with the concept of viewing the self.
Thanks
Andy