Tumupasa
Established member
Hello all,
I decided, after introducing myself in this post, that I would share a few experiences which happened between 2007 and 2021 with ayahuasca in the Bolivian jungle.
I discovered ayahuasca in 2007 by pure coincidence. I can say that it was really looking for me, more than I was looking for it. I was traveling with my brother, and we were walking through a small village called Rurrenabaque in Bolivia when we passed by a small office with a wooden sign carved with the words “ayahuasca ceremonies.” I asked my brother if he knew what it was about. He vaguely answered that it was an Amazonian brew that natives take in a ceremonial context, that it is highly psychedelic, and that he thought it would be a good opportunity to try it.
As he and I had quite a solid background with psychedelics—having experimented with LSD, salvia, and mushrooms—we felt open to the idea. After talking to the guide who was sitting there in the office, we agreed to book two consecutive nights.
Two days later, after observing a rigorous diet, the guide and we traveled to a small village called Tumupasa near Rurrenabaque.
FIRST NIGHT
In preparation for this first night, the guide took us on a two-hour walk around the village, just to help us feel more connected to the place.
We arrived at a small wooden cabin where a very old man, looking like an old lizard (one of his eyes was blank), was sitting.
My brother and I were offered a half-filled mug of an extremely bitter brew. We both drank after holding the mug on our crowns and thinking of our intentions for the night. I remember just asking something like “show me.”
The effect came on in approximately 25 minutes. It crept in quickly, and I think that 35 minutes after drinking, I was already starting to feel that this wasn’t like any psychedelic I had experienced before.
With my eyes closed, I was witnessing the shaman’s garden transforming. I was surrounded by plenty of very old lizards and reptiles adorned with gems. I thought, “No one is ready for this.” This level of reality was insane. It was TOO REAL. At some point, I saw my parents and my brother in a beautiful garden. They noticed my presence and instantly raised their glasses as if saying “cheers.”
After that, I saw E.—my ex-girlfriend, with whom I had broken up a few months earlier. I had been devastated by this breakup, but here, in this dimension, she was looking at me and telling me, “It’s ok, you’ll be ok now… just go on with your life, I know you’ll overcome this.” And she was right. After that, just thinking about her didn’t hurt anymore.
As I started to feel better, I opened my eyes and found my attention clearly drawn to a particular flower in a bush full of other flowers—but this one was glowing. As soon as I noticed it, I saw my brother get up from his chair, walk to the bush, and pick that exact flower, then put it in his hair, watching me with a complicit smile. I remember just saying, “Wooow.” He smiled again, as though he knew what had happened.
So much bliss!
The ceremony ended, and we went to try to sleep—which I didn’t manage to do.
SECOND NIGHT
This time, just after a very light and healthy breakfast, we went on a walk with the guide, as he suggested this would help us experience a profound healing during the ceremony that night. We climbed a mountain—literally—sweating heavily and overcoming a lot of physical challenges, as the walk was quite difficult.
Back in the village, we had two hours to rest. I took a nap.
Once again, we arrived at the shaman’s cabin. After a few words with our guide, he poured the thick liquid into the mug and carefully handed it to me. I noticed this time the mug was almost full. As I drank it, I thought, “This isn’t the same brew as yesterday.” It was way more bitter, and I anticipated how hard it would be to keep it down and not vomit it instantly.
Five minutes later, I started feeling veeery nauseous, and at the ten-minute mark, the effect was coming on extremely fast and disorienting. After seven minutes, I purged all the liquid I had in my stomach. Even though the guide had told us to keep it in for at least 45 minutes, I knew it wouldn’t matter—the effects were already so strong that the only thought in my mind was how to undo this.
The next five hours are very hard to describe. One word came up throughout the session: HELL.
I was in a desolate landscape—no trees, black sky, war, fire, infinite sadness, regret. I was witnessing a very fast succession of distorted faces. Pain was everywhere. I cried and asked the guide to stop it. His only answer was: “Follow the path, brother.” At that very moment, it seemed like a joke.
So much fear!
Finally, the effects started to fade, and I found myself lying on my belly on the ground. I thought, “Well, it seems I just gave back to the earth all the fear I had accumulated since my birth.”
That night, I managed to sleep after feeling peaceful and more reborn than ever before.
THE CROWN
The shaman in Tumupasa passed away one year after those two nights, and I failed to find someone I could trust again. It took me three years to have the opportunity to schedule a new ceremony. This time the shaman was a young Chilean called Philip, and I was kind of perplexed by the fact that this young man looked nothing at all like the old man I had trusted three years ago.
It turned out Philip was a lovely person. With him, I discovered a whole new way of participating in ceremonies: there was drumming, chanting, Agua de Florida, incense burning. It was all new to me, but I also felt that it was very reassuring to receive all these special attentions from the healer.
I don’t remember much from these few ceremonies, but one night, once again surrounded by the usual reptilian fauna, I saw what looked like a big mountain. My vision climbed it, and at the top I saw myself sitting on a throne, surrounded by floral ornaments and beautiful jewels. A crown came down from the sky and gently landed on my head. I felt so much pride.
What was clear to me is that I wasn’t the king of anyone but myself, and it felt so beautiful, like, “Now you are your own king—you deserve it.” I can’t describe how good I felt with this new perspective about myself.
THE CREATION OF THE UNIVERSE
Again with the same shaman, Philip, I participated in a ceremony a few years later (sometime in 2015).
This time, I came with a clear intention, which at the time seemed like a foolish one: “Show me how things work. How was the universe created?” Haha.
Well, it seems ayahuasca didn’t take it as a joke, and it gave me the most significant experience I’ve had so far.
At some point, during the most visionary phase of the ceremony, I started witnessing an empty space. Then a light appeared, then some planets, then some bacteria or microscopic organic life. The confusing part was that I couldn’t tell if I was in space or inside a human body. Planets and stars were moving and spinning together with these tiny micro-organisms, and at some point I saw a fetus. I instantly asked, “Is my wife pregnant?” The voice replied, “Look—it’s happening now!”
Again I asked, “Is this what’s happening in my wife’s womb right now?” But the voice answered, “This is what you asked for—the universe is being created right now before your very eyes. It’s happening now… and now… and now…”
I was amazed by this answer and eventually understood that I had to cope with it without expecting further explanation. The fetus grew into a baby, then into a young boy.
The ceremony ended, and I made my way to the cabin near the temple where my wife was sleeping. I hugged her and stayed awake, in awe of the first morning light in the jungle. To this day, that timeless feeling is something I still carry with me.
For context: my wife and I already had a daughter at the time, and I felt that was enough for now. Even though she had been trying to convince me it was the right time to have another child, I wasn’t convinced at all.
Later that morning, I described the vision to her and suggested she take a pregnancy test, which she did. The result was negative.
She wasn’t pregnant, and I felt sad, because I truly believed that ayahuasca had given me a revelation.
But then I understood—it wasn’t ayahuasca’s role to tell the future. It works differently. What it did that night was unlock my fear of becoming a father again. It reminded me that yes, everything is happening now. Even if my wife wasn’t pregnant yet, the desire to have another child had been awakened in me.
The next month, my wife was pregnant, and for the five months leading up to the ultrasound, I knew it would be a boy. No doubt.
Well, you guessed it—I’m now the proud father of a beautiful girl and a beautiful boy
WEIRD NIGHT
One other night, with another shaman (from the same “school” as Philip) named Shirley, I took ayahuasca alone with her.
First cup—I waited… nothing happened. No effect. But I was thirsty!
Second cup… still nothing. Third… nothing. I asked, “Can I drink water?” She answered, “No.”
“Do you want one last cup?”
I said, “Okay…”
NOTHING! But damn, I was so thirsty!
She decided it wasn’t a good night for me to take ayahuasca and closed the ceremony. Before going to sleep, I asked again, “Can I drink water?” She answered, “Okay—but just a little sip.”
I drank just a small sip, as she instructed me to…
Then the most incredible thing happened. I felt the drop of water bounce inside my throat, going down and—boom! I started feeling very dizzy, shaking violently. I felt freezing cold…
All the cups I had taken earlier came on like an ambush. What an assault! I was overwhelmed. Shirley picked up her maracas and chacapa, started singing, and blew tobacco smoke on my crown.
I felt like I was on another planet. The light was surreal. But at the same time, I had no doubt—this place existed. For real.
The only way I can describe it doesn’t do it justice, but I’ll try:
At dawn, I was lying beneath palm trees—but their leaves were made of insect wings. That’s how it felt. Everything moved so fast there. It was ecstatic.
Finally, thanks to Shirley’s work, I came back down.
What’s strange is that only 15 minutes had passed from the moment I drank the water to when I returned to “normal life.”
These are some of the most vivid memories I have of my experiences with ayahuasca.
There are many other stories that come to mind—maybe I’ll share them another time.
And yes, everything started in that small village: Tumupasa, hence my name here on this forum
Reflecting on these experiences, I realize the absolute importance of giving time to integration.
Most of these moments made no sense at the time. But with patience, curiosity, reading a lot of literature on the subject, and cultivating my insight, things have started to make sense.
I'm beginning to see a bigger picture.
I decided, after introducing myself in this post, that I would share a few experiences which happened between 2007 and 2021 with ayahuasca in the Bolivian jungle.
I discovered ayahuasca in 2007 by pure coincidence. I can say that it was really looking for me, more than I was looking for it. I was traveling with my brother, and we were walking through a small village called Rurrenabaque in Bolivia when we passed by a small office with a wooden sign carved with the words “ayahuasca ceremonies.” I asked my brother if he knew what it was about. He vaguely answered that it was an Amazonian brew that natives take in a ceremonial context, that it is highly psychedelic, and that he thought it would be a good opportunity to try it.
As he and I had quite a solid background with psychedelics—having experimented with LSD, salvia, and mushrooms—we felt open to the idea. After talking to the guide who was sitting there in the office, we agreed to book two consecutive nights.
Two days later, after observing a rigorous diet, the guide and we traveled to a small village called Tumupasa near Rurrenabaque.
FIRST NIGHT
In preparation for this first night, the guide took us on a two-hour walk around the village, just to help us feel more connected to the place.
We arrived at a small wooden cabin where a very old man, looking like an old lizard (one of his eyes was blank), was sitting.
My brother and I were offered a half-filled mug of an extremely bitter brew. We both drank after holding the mug on our crowns and thinking of our intentions for the night. I remember just asking something like “show me.”
The effect came on in approximately 25 minutes. It crept in quickly, and I think that 35 minutes after drinking, I was already starting to feel that this wasn’t like any psychedelic I had experienced before.
With my eyes closed, I was witnessing the shaman’s garden transforming. I was surrounded by plenty of very old lizards and reptiles adorned with gems. I thought, “No one is ready for this.” This level of reality was insane. It was TOO REAL. At some point, I saw my parents and my brother in a beautiful garden. They noticed my presence and instantly raised their glasses as if saying “cheers.”
After that, I saw E.—my ex-girlfriend, with whom I had broken up a few months earlier. I had been devastated by this breakup, but here, in this dimension, she was looking at me and telling me, “It’s ok, you’ll be ok now… just go on with your life, I know you’ll overcome this.” And she was right. After that, just thinking about her didn’t hurt anymore.
As I started to feel better, I opened my eyes and found my attention clearly drawn to a particular flower in a bush full of other flowers—but this one was glowing. As soon as I noticed it, I saw my brother get up from his chair, walk to the bush, and pick that exact flower, then put it in his hair, watching me with a complicit smile. I remember just saying, “Wooow.” He smiled again, as though he knew what had happened.
So much bliss!
The ceremony ended, and we went to try to sleep—which I didn’t manage to do.
SECOND NIGHT
This time, just after a very light and healthy breakfast, we went on a walk with the guide, as he suggested this would help us experience a profound healing during the ceremony that night. We climbed a mountain—literally—sweating heavily and overcoming a lot of physical challenges, as the walk was quite difficult.
Back in the village, we had two hours to rest. I took a nap.
Once again, we arrived at the shaman’s cabin. After a few words with our guide, he poured the thick liquid into the mug and carefully handed it to me. I noticed this time the mug was almost full. As I drank it, I thought, “This isn’t the same brew as yesterday.” It was way more bitter, and I anticipated how hard it would be to keep it down and not vomit it instantly.
Five minutes later, I started feeling veeery nauseous, and at the ten-minute mark, the effect was coming on extremely fast and disorienting. After seven minutes, I purged all the liquid I had in my stomach. Even though the guide had told us to keep it in for at least 45 minutes, I knew it wouldn’t matter—the effects were already so strong that the only thought in my mind was how to undo this.
The next five hours are very hard to describe. One word came up throughout the session: HELL.
I was in a desolate landscape—no trees, black sky, war, fire, infinite sadness, regret. I was witnessing a very fast succession of distorted faces. Pain was everywhere. I cried and asked the guide to stop it. His only answer was: “Follow the path, brother.” At that very moment, it seemed like a joke.
So much fear!
Finally, the effects started to fade, and I found myself lying on my belly on the ground. I thought, “Well, it seems I just gave back to the earth all the fear I had accumulated since my birth.”
That night, I managed to sleep after feeling peaceful and more reborn than ever before.
THE CROWN
The shaman in Tumupasa passed away one year after those two nights, and I failed to find someone I could trust again. It took me three years to have the opportunity to schedule a new ceremony. This time the shaman was a young Chilean called Philip, and I was kind of perplexed by the fact that this young man looked nothing at all like the old man I had trusted three years ago.
It turned out Philip was a lovely person. With him, I discovered a whole new way of participating in ceremonies: there was drumming, chanting, Agua de Florida, incense burning. It was all new to me, but I also felt that it was very reassuring to receive all these special attentions from the healer.
I don’t remember much from these few ceremonies, but one night, once again surrounded by the usual reptilian fauna, I saw what looked like a big mountain. My vision climbed it, and at the top I saw myself sitting on a throne, surrounded by floral ornaments and beautiful jewels. A crown came down from the sky and gently landed on my head. I felt so much pride.
What was clear to me is that I wasn’t the king of anyone but myself, and it felt so beautiful, like, “Now you are your own king—you deserve it.” I can’t describe how good I felt with this new perspective about myself.
THE CREATION OF THE UNIVERSE
Again with the same shaman, Philip, I participated in a ceremony a few years later (sometime in 2015).
This time, I came with a clear intention, which at the time seemed like a foolish one: “Show me how things work. How was the universe created?” Haha.
Well, it seems ayahuasca didn’t take it as a joke, and it gave me the most significant experience I’ve had so far.
At some point, during the most visionary phase of the ceremony, I started witnessing an empty space. Then a light appeared, then some planets, then some bacteria or microscopic organic life. The confusing part was that I couldn’t tell if I was in space or inside a human body. Planets and stars were moving and spinning together with these tiny micro-organisms, and at some point I saw a fetus. I instantly asked, “Is my wife pregnant?” The voice replied, “Look—it’s happening now!”
Again I asked, “Is this what’s happening in my wife’s womb right now?” But the voice answered, “This is what you asked for—the universe is being created right now before your very eyes. It’s happening now… and now… and now…”
I was amazed by this answer and eventually understood that I had to cope with it without expecting further explanation. The fetus grew into a baby, then into a young boy.
The ceremony ended, and I made my way to the cabin near the temple where my wife was sleeping. I hugged her and stayed awake, in awe of the first morning light in the jungle. To this day, that timeless feeling is something I still carry with me.
For context: my wife and I already had a daughter at the time, and I felt that was enough for now. Even though she had been trying to convince me it was the right time to have another child, I wasn’t convinced at all.
Later that morning, I described the vision to her and suggested she take a pregnancy test, which she did. The result was negative.
She wasn’t pregnant, and I felt sad, because I truly believed that ayahuasca had given me a revelation.
But then I understood—it wasn’t ayahuasca’s role to tell the future. It works differently. What it did that night was unlock my fear of becoming a father again. It reminded me that yes, everything is happening now. Even if my wife wasn’t pregnant yet, the desire to have another child had been awakened in me.
The next month, my wife was pregnant, and for the five months leading up to the ultrasound, I knew it would be a boy. No doubt.
Well, you guessed it—I’m now the proud father of a beautiful girl and a beautiful boy
WEIRD NIGHT
One other night, with another shaman (from the same “school” as Philip) named Shirley, I took ayahuasca alone with her.
First cup—I waited… nothing happened. No effect. But I was thirsty!
Second cup… still nothing. Third… nothing. I asked, “Can I drink water?” She answered, “No.”
“Do you want one last cup?”
I said, “Okay…”
NOTHING! But damn, I was so thirsty!
She decided it wasn’t a good night for me to take ayahuasca and closed the ceremony. Before going to sleep, I asked again, “Can I drink water?” She answered, “Okay—but just a little sip.”
I drank just a small sip, as she instructed me to…
Then the most incredible thing happened. I felt the drop of water bounce inside my throat, going down and—boom! I started feeling very dizzy, shaking violently. I felt freezing cold…
All the cups I had taken earlier came on like an ambush. What an assault! I was overwhelmed. Shirley picked up her maracas and chacapa, started singing, and blew tobacco smoke on my crown.
I felt like I was on another planet. The light was surreal. But at the same time, I had no doubt—this place existed. For real.
The only way I can describe it doesn’t do it justice, but I’ll try:
At dawn, I was lying beneath palm trees—but their leaves were made of insect wings. That’s how it felt. Everything moved so fast there. It was ecstatic.
Finally, thanks to Shirley’s work, I came back down.
What’s strange is that only 15 minutes had passed from the moment I drank the water to when I returned to “normal life.”
These are some of the most vivid memories I have of my experiences with ayahuasca.
There are many other stories that come to mind—maybe I’ll share them another time.
And yes, everything started in that small village: Tumupasa, hence my name here on this forum
Reflecting on these experiences, I realize the absolute importance of giving time to integration.
Most of these moments made no sense at the time. But with patience, curiosity, reading a lot of literature on the subject, and cultivating my insight, things have started to make sense.
I'm beginning to see a bigger picture.
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These kinds of experience are what it's what it's all about.
... but finally, it's always been what i needed at this moment.
