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Frustration...

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blueskine

blueskine

D.
First off, I want to say how this forum and the members contributing are a f-ing god sent. Thank you soooo much.

I was introduced to the spice in Dec. 09. I have been a psychedelic user for about 12 years and they have made a profound difference in my life. The spice came into my life at a time where I was dealing with a death in my "family," a very close friend. My first breakthrough experience gave me perspective in why I was depressed and gave me the ability to move forward, even dealing with grief, on the things that were important.

Sooo, that is a little background, but why am I writing this...
I feel that there is something that the spice has to offer that hasn't been revealed, yet. I have had a couple handfuls of break though experiences and have yet to see any entities. I have no idea why I am drawn to the idea of having this experience, but I am. I have only smoked it and I have tried it with some Rue extract, but I am feeling it just may not be in the cards for me. Maybe, it isn't as important as I have made it out to be.

I guess I am looking for perspective from you. Thanks for anything you can offer.
 
Breakthrough with no entities? Is that even possible? I'm doubting it...because they construct the transmission.

Whenever I wanted them to show me it all, I would synergize my allies.
One by one, a medicine is imbibed.
The medicines of your choice.
My algorithm may not be yours.

Sometimes it takes more than just DMT to open their living floodgate.
Make changa with caapi leaf and mullein.
Drink ayahuasca prior to smoking.
Pray to the fucking gods to allow you into the deepest.
Once you KNOW
You'll NEVER FORGET.


And to Rehash:
Huge hits.
Many times.
Held 20 seconds.
Until everything in your reality disappears.
 
Hi blueskine,

I am no expert, but I do remember that it took me about 25 or so experiences, about 12 breakthroughs or somesuch, before I saw my first "elf" or anything approaching a living (i.e. not machine-like) entity. Once I did meet them though, they became regular greeters, guides and distractors for me in hyperspace.

If you still feel the pull/call, I would suggest it is not yet time to give up. Try different dosages and different numbers of sessions. Consider making some changa. Consider trying pharma or aya. I think there is a reason that we are pulled to the spice (How ironic as we pull it from plants . . .). Hang in there. I would suggest that with proper set, setting and intention that there is a decent chance that you will find what you seek. It's just that there is also a decent chance that it will be something other than what you were looking for. :)

Just one opinion. I'd like to see lots more on this topic. I am sure people with huge amounts of experiences might have some good ideas . . .

Peace & Love,
Pandora
 
۩ said:
Breakthrough with no entities? Is that even possible? I'm doubting it...because they construct the transmission.
Click to expand...
This so certainly is possible. My most intense experiences lacked any form of encounter at all except for that with intensley mutating matter. Though most of my sustained entity contact happens before the breakthrough point. I actually received my strongest message from the spice via this goddess shape in the veil on a 5mg dose.

Also until last week I had actually gone for nearly 7 months without coming into contact with anyone in hyperspace, though they had left messages all over the place.

This is to me really sounds like an issue of expectation before experience. There's so much more to this stuff than just getting lectured by ET, as I'm sure you all know. :)
 
The closest I have ever came was I felt they were there hidden, watching. In hyperspace, it seems like I just focus on a tiny bit of what is happening, overwhelmed by the big picture going on around me. It is like the world swirls and melts away and I am totally conscious. My mind has been a bitch and won't let go of "reality."
 
blueskine said:
My mind has been a bitch and won't let go of "reality."
Click to expand...

I think Mr House may have a point ... big dose, held for as long as possible and your mind is relieved of the option of hanging onto reality ...

if you can't turn away, go forward.
 
Hello Blue...Don't give up because I believe it is something you have to work with for awhile ...your definition of "breakthrough" will change over and over again as it opens itself up too you...For me it started out as a light show then on to a dreamstate and all the while conveying a message of oneness and love...If all were revealed at once I dont believe
I would have been able to take it mentally...Be patient and dont "try" too hard, Don't expect it to provide definitive answers to all your questions..I only thought i was seeing entities until the reality of my room was opened up and a separate reality opened up and their presence was obvious and i was left shaken and astonished. I think about it 24/7 and then I think about it some more...lol...Is it where we came from???Are they around us all the time???I often feel like they are feeding off of my energy like Intergalactic hyperspace parallel universe lifeforce sucking vampires...lol...I do think there is alot to learn with this molecule as long as I respect it and dont abuse the awesome power it holds..

Heal, Protect, Enlighten

Aetherbound
 
It took me quite a while to get to the place where there are entities. But by golly i got there .
I believe there are number of factors envolved with getting to that most perfect of places. One is the actual material you have. Personally I find mullein to be a good bet to work with for a variety of reasons. Also the apparatus you smoke it with is important. I believe the vapor genie is a good choice. Then you have the setting wich i believe is of utmost importance. Then of course what you bring to the experience. A good headspace with no baggage is best. To me this is not just about avoiding a bad experience but also how to get the most out of a journey. The better my headspace going in the deeper i go.

My most intense of experiences was usually preceded by a cup of caapi tea. I am finding that the tea is a huge part of the whole thing. It sends you deeper in and adds levels of meaning to the journeys. I have found the rue to be more of an intense light show and physically demanding on par with a roller coaster ride, less of a teacher than the caapi.

Minimize your expectations I realize its hard sometimes when you read so many different peoples experiences. One cannot help but build an expectation. I decided I wanted to find out for myself when I started my quest. I began by minimizing my expectations and facing my initial experiences head-on. Over time and with practice I have developed a deeply personal relationship with spice and caapi. I have developed my own set of rituals just like everyone else. I have very intense respect for this stuff and never take it lightly.

I have been rewarded in so many ways words don't do it justice.
practice, respect, refine, Love,
 
My first two DMT trips, I experienced a seperation of the self. And if I encountered any other beings than myself I do not remember it. The third time, I was conscious throughout the whole experience yet had contact with, what I imagine to be what some of you refer to as a mechanical being. I guess it takes different forms for all of us. Perhaps we see only what we need to see?
 
blueskine said:
The closest I have ever came was I felt they were there hidden, watching. In hyperspace, it seems like I just focus on a tiny bit of what is happening, overwhelmed by the big picture going on around me. It is like the world swirls and melts away and I am totally conscious. My mind has been a bitch and won't let go of "reality."
Click to expand...

You're absolutely right there blueskin.

Anybody remember those "Magic Eye" pictures that were popular in the early 90's? They were fractalized computer generated images that just looked like a bunch of swirling colors. However, if you simply de-focalized, and "relaxed your eyes", a 3D image would pop out at you, i.e. a boat or a plane, or a landscape. Well, for some of us it wasn't all that "simple". For the longest time I couldn't see a thing. I thought it was a big joke or everyone was full of it. It wasn't until one day I saw one in a store window, so it was somewhat in my peripherial vision. I did a double take and shook my head a little, because the image just stood right out at me. Infact, I couldn't get it to dissapear! I walked into the store to look at some more. Lo and behold they were much easier to "see", and yet there were still one or two that took a minute to focus on. However, I did find that the more I did see, the more the grey matter up there seemed to condition itself to see.

I didn't "see" an entity until my sixth or seventh journey. I had breakthroughs beyond the waiting room, however the places I travelled to, ie. foreign planet or landscape, well, it just seemed like there was (a friend of mine said it best) "no one home". Perhaps like walking into your friends house while they're out, or in the backyard. The place still feels inhabited, but there's nobody around.

It was revealed to me by my first entity encounter that "he" had been right there in front of me the entire time, I just hadn't adjusted yet. He went on to show me exactly where he was "hiding" and how to see him. "He" was extremely excited and happy about my progress, and repeated the lesson four times before I drifted away.

I equate all this to the experience we all have of being born. Is it really an odd coincidence that so very few of us remember this event, and most of us can't remember the first few years of our lives? It's not like it was that long ago. My 82 year old grandfather can remember his childhood, why can't an eight year old remember being one? The experience of being born would be extremely overwhelming, even obviously stressful, but much like your first adjustments to "seeing" other dimensions. It's even hypotheisized that this may be a time of hightened DMT production in your body, like dying. It is an interesting transition to ponder on. Regardless of wether your full of spice when you leave the womb, the experience would be similar. For what does a new born "see" in those first moments. I would guess it would be an intense rush of swirling color and light, overwhelming feelings and emotion. We would be adjusting to our new concept of SPACE, coming out of a state of being in fluid for the last 9 months. Sounds would be loud and amplified as those we've never heard, unfiltered and unmuted by the womb. "Things" would be doing "stuff" to us that we couldn't possibly understand. I wonder how long it takes? Minutes, days, months even? Before we finally realize, or even conceptualize that "hey, that's an eye there.. and oh , OH there's a whole person!" We would of course feel a natural pull, an extreme feeling of attachment and love and saftey, to this new "entity" before we had a concept that "this is my mother" or "this is were I came from".

Anyhoo, keep practicing, and relax it will come.
 
Here’s what helps me:

First, as others have already said, I try to have no particular expectations. As soon as I have particular expectations, then it’s too easy to judge the experience. If my expectations are met, the experience is “satisfactory”. If not, “unsatisfactory”.

So no expectations, and remind yourself that using this sacrament is a privilege that few have the opportunity to experience.

Finally, I remind myself that a DMT experience is a two way street: it’s not just about what I can get from it, it’s also about what I give to it. Remember that you are giving your mind and body to the experience - you are giving “others” access to your mind, body, and soul.
 
I just wanted to say thanks for your post!

It has accumulated so many answers I didn't know I was looking for.

Good luck on your next trip!


~BC
 
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