DreadedShaman
Rising Star
I don't know that I'll get the whole report out here, the second half of this trip went in a deeply personal direction that idk if I'm ready to share.
But...
I started this ceramony like many others, preparing and blessing the medicines, setting my intention for discovery and insight, and distributed the medicines to my tribe.
I took 250mg of harmala freebase (orally) and 2g of freshly dried "F+" mushrooms
After what seemed like a lengthy, giggly come up, I felt everything starting to go into overdrive, so I made myself comfortable on the couch, I was not quite ready for what happened next.
I found myself entering some sort of grand temple, the architecture was very angular, same with the mosaics. This unsettled me for some reason, as I focused on an archway. Usually with enough mental focus I can morph my visions, but this remained angular as I attempted to make it apear more organic and appealing to me.
This did not work.
As I made my way deeper into this sacred place (as it pulled me deeper, there was no turning back) I came to a point where I could not proceed. This is whwn the first, of many of the same kind of entity appeared. They were very tall, and without color, with very large eyes.
As with the rest of this, the entities made me feel very unsettled, but I did not sense malice from them. They moved very sporadically (which made them more unsettling) they would be there, and then not, and then surrpunding me, and then there again, before finally surrounding me, and with their eyes started to "attack" me psychically. It was as if they were shooting beams of energy from their eyes
As this happened I resisted, it felt like a staring contest, that I was determined not to loose. As I stood my ground, a white shell, or forcefield formed around me, the intensity of their stare is completely undescribable, but I held my ground.
They surrounded me, the intensity still building as I realized what was happening. This shield was my ego, and they were breaking it down before I was allowed into Hyperspace. This thought didn't help my resistance, as my stance weakened from somewhere in the depth of my soul, I summoned the word "нет!" (Nyet-- "no" in russian)
Which became a very visual projection which surprised me (I knew very few Russian words before this, and have since taken up study of the language)
Whether it was their response, or that I distracted myself, but very shortly after this they broke me, the white forcefield shattered, exploding outwards, and I was suddenly able to proceed to the temples exit, into Hyperspace.
As I proceeded, or more accurately, watched my soul proceed, I saw me(it) reach out and grab a fragment of my ego and tucked I into what would have been a back pocket, shushing me as if to say "the ego breakers don't know"
As I found myself in the vastness of Hyperspace my thoughts turned to something that has confused me for a long time, even though I'm in Hyperspace, I've experienced "ego death" yet I am still Me. And this made me very uncomfortable. As I pondered this, the language changed from "I" to "We" "Me" to "Us" "mine" to "ours" and i was able to relax, and experience the unity of the universe.
As I returned I kept hearing the same thing "I am We". At this point my buddies began to talk, which helped ground me, and made me wish I could fully return and interact faster than I was able to.
I slowly returned to my tribe, and a very talkitive and again giggly trip.
Later on I decided to smoalk to another breakthrough, but I think thats a tale for another time.
—DS
But...
I started this ceramony like many others, preparing and blessing the medicines, setting my intention for discovery and insight, and distributed the medicines to my tribe.
I took 250mg of harmala freebase (orally) and 2g of freshly dried "F+" mushrooms
After what seemed like a lengthy, giggly come up, I felt everything starting to go into overdrive, so I made myself comfortable on the couch, I was not quite ready for what happened next.
I found myself entering some sort of grand temple, the architecture was very angular, same with the mosaics. This unsettled me for some reason, as I focused on an archway. Usually with enough mental focus I can morph my visions, but this remained angular as I attempted to make it apear more organic and appealing to me.
This did not work.
As I made my way deeper into this sacred place (as it pulled me deeper, there was no turning back) I came to a point where I could not proceed. This is whwn the first, of many of the same kind of entity appeared. They were very tall, and without color, with very large eyes.
As with the rest of this, the entities made me feel very unsettled, but I did not sense malice from them. They moved very sporadically (which made them more unsettling) they would be there, and then not, and then surrpunding me, and then there again, before finally surrounding me, and with their eyes started to "attack" me psychically. It was as if they were shooting beams of energy from their eyes
As this happened I resisted, it felt like a staring contest, that I was determined not to loose. As I stood my ground, a white shell, or forcefield formed around me, the intensity of their stare is completely undescribable, but I held my ground.
They surrounded me, the intensity still building as I realized what was happening. This shield was my ego, and they were breaking it down before I was allowed into Hyperspace. This thought didn't help my resistance, as my stance weakened from somewhere in the depth of my soul, I summoned the word "нет!" (Nyet-- "no" in russian)
Which became a very visual projection which surprised me (I knew very few Russian words before this, and have since taken up study of the language)
Whether it was their response, or that I distracted myself, but very shortly after this they broke me, the white forcefield shattered, exploding outwards, and I was suddenly able to proceed to the temples exit, into Hyperspace.
As I proceeded, or more accurately, watched my soul proceed, I saw me(it) reach out and grab a fragment of my ego and tucked I into what would have been a back pocket, shushing me as if to say "the ego breakers don't know"
As I found myself in the vastness of Hyperspace my thoughts turned to something that has confused me for a long time, even though I'm in Hyperspace, I've experienced "ego death" yet I am still Me. And this made me very uncomfortable. As I pondered this, the language changed from "I" to "We" "Me" to "Us" "mine" to "ours" and i was able to relax, and experience the unity of the universe.
As I returned I kept hearing the same thing "I am We". At this point my buddies began to talk, which helped ground me, and made me wish I could fully return and interact faster than I was able to.
I slowly returned to my tribe, and a very talkitive and again giggly trip.
Later on I decided to smoalk to another breakthrough, but I think thats a tale for another time.
—DS
