Getting To Know The Molecule

[HigherThisSelf]

Greetings all!

This is my first post so allow me to say hi and give a little introduction. I've been into psychedelics off and on for about 12 years, but am brand new to the DMT world.

Yeah, so getting right to it. A month or so ago, maybe more? I acquired some of the molecule.

I had first heard of DMT about 11 years ago, but had no desire to try it. Recently, some several months ago, I had watched DMT: The Spirit Molecule and it sparked in interest. So I started to seek it out. Some research and time later, I had it in hand. I sat on it for about 3 weeks before I worked up the courage to even try it.

I had a very difficult mushroom trip about 5 years ago that halted all psychedelic use and any desire to ever again. Or so I thought. As a lot of people have also gone through this, sure enough there was a point they kept calling me. But I've not been able to get over the difficult trip and was way to scared to dive right into DMT. So I decided to start low and work my way up. It went like this;

A few weeks ago I loaded up 2mg into the machine. I was very nervous and anxious, but as soon as I hit it all the anxiety melted away. However the trip was almost nothing. Slight body buzz is about it.

After that experience it was about a week later I decided to give 5mg a go. So I loaded 5mg into the machine. This time I felt a vibration and strong buzz in my body. And sort of felt my consciousness change. But this also was the most of the effects.

The other night I decided I was going to do 10mg. I had read that 10mg should definitely be enough to get a feel. And it was so.
This time the thick white vapor completely filled the chamber and I knew this time would be different. I drew in the smoke, pretty much vaping the whole thing in one toke. I laid back, felt the same initial body buzz, but this time the ringing/hum/buzzing whatever noise I heard so much about was very prominent. So much so there was no denying it. There was some closed eye visuals that I can't really remember, and were difficult to explain. No geometric patterns, but things were more fluid behind my eyelids.

That all lasted but a few minutes, and a giant smile washed over my face, and I basked in the afterglow for about 30 mins. It was nothing but pleasant. Though during the experience, I desired more, and wished I had.

Tonight I was thinking of going for 12mg and shall report that experience.


Really I just wanted to share how I've been approaching this molecule, as I feel no one around me really gives a shit. So thanks for reading. I'll continue to update.

 

[TrampledByInfinity]

I fully support this approach to hyperspace exploration! I've always been a rip the bandaid off slowly type of person (or slowly walk into the cold water, instead of jump in), so this

has always been my approach towards psychedelics of all types. I know there are plenty of people who enjoy jumping right in the deep end from the start, but I appreciate when people go

about psychedelics the same way I do. :thumb_up:

 

[HigherThisSelf]

Yeah, ever since my difficult psilocybin experience, it traumatized me and I've pretty much had to learn how to trip all over again to let go of the previous experience. This method of starting slow is the only way I've started to make improvements with letting go.

 

[Felnik]

I fully support your method . In the beginning I stayed at the lower dose
range for quite a while slowly learning and adapting to it .
I approached it like learning a new instrument. It's a great opportunity
to learn about yourself on the deepest level imaginable. I recommend trying it out on nature
if you havent already , it's awesome .

 

[MadPlanter]

I'd say your going about things the right way. I haven't ever had a bad trip so to speak but have had what I'd call undesirable trips. Not bad but hard to deal with either due to surroundings or size of dose. Definitely have thought I've died a couple times but overall I actually enjoyed that feeling as it was simultaneously pure bliss.

Two particular MDMA and shrooms combo trips were spectacular but blew my mind so far away I had panic attacks back in regular life for months that took tons of mental effort to overcome. On the first occasion I burnt myself out pretty bad at one point. I got over it during the experience but it permeated my mind too outside the trip for quite some time.

Was not put off of psychedelic endeavors though. I knew I just needed to work through it to prevail. In the end it was figured out and I'm fine.

Good luck on your travels and thanks for sharing!

 

[HigherThisSelf]

Damn. That's nuts. I've never died, but I thought I was dying. I had tripped 100 + times before this difficult trip I spoke of. I thought I knew all the do's and don't and whats "normal" but for the first time ever I considered calling 911 cause I needed SOMETHING. Any relief... I was young and dumb. Got my ass humbled hard.


Anyway, things are different today. I have way way way more respect for psychedelics and other consciousness altering substances.

In a couple hours I am going to launch again. At least that's what I plan. I had a couple beers, and normally don't like to mix things, or go in with out a straight head. So I may bail last second.

 

[112233]

Yeah, nothing like that first time you think you've killed yourself on DMT (who's going to feed my dog???? That was the thought I had in my first death experience).

Starting slow is very wise, I did the same. It took several months before I brokethrough, and that was smoking on top of some LSD (LSDMT = WOOOOOOOOOW). I've had hundreds and hundreds of DMT experiences, but maybe only five breakthroughs. But I very rarely smoke plain DMT, I'm a huge fan of harmalas. Pharma is the way I start every session, usually smoking changa midway through the night.

I don't really have the desire to collapse reality anymore, I much prefer the lessons I get with added harmalas. More personal, more grounded. Though, breakthroughs are pretty special, and recommended to experience at least once (sometimes once is enough).

 

[HigherThisSelf]

I still have to learn about the whole harmalas and all that. I don't even really know it's purpose. And changa and all that. But I'm slow, so one thing at a time for me 8)

 

[HigherThisSelf]

Well... lol. holy shit... I'm back

 

[HigherThisSelf]

Ok, so last night I decided to stick with around 10mg and try and clear it in a single hit.

Holy shit. Last time I smoked it, I weighed it to 10mg and backed it off to 9mg because of chicken shitness

This time I weighed out 11mg and backed it off to 10mg. Cleared it all in one enitire hit using the machine.

Gottdamn gottdamn... I slowly vaped, and inhaled the 10mg and drew it into my lungs. My brain immediately started chattering randomeness even though I just spent 15 minutes prior trying to quiet my mind to somewhat a successful degree.

While inhaling I was thinking about how last time it started kicking in when I tried to take a second hit. I'm telling my brain to shut up, meanwhile asking myself "did I even get a hit?"... exhaled, and realized I wasn't comfortable in my position and attempted to adjust myself. I realized how that didn't make sense to accomplish that, and forgot what I was doing for a second.

Last time the ring/hum/buzz sound slowly crept up and was a more subtle come up

This time I didn't even hear the buzz hum noise until I realized I was fully trippin.

This time there was full blown hallucinations, and lines/ grid/ fabric um thing stuff to it. Though the room I was in was still very recognizable as such. I understand this dose is probably nothing.

But gottdamn! The trip feeling its self, like, it's essence is a thing! It's an it.


Anyway. Yeah. wow... that was neat

 

[Felnik]

I find a visual reference can help sometimes gauge where your at dose wise.
Like a textured surface . In my case I use large rock surfaces , tree bark ,
Moss, or grass . You can tell your going in the right direction when normally
static surfaces begin to move. That's the point at wich you can decide to press
on or just stay put at that dose. The moving surfaces is a significant measurement
and the real crazy stuff is right on the other side of that just a little further.

I also am a big fan of harmalas in my case caapi leaf or vine tea.
I never go without it at this point .

 

[HigherThisSelf]

Yeah, this time the visuals were undeniable. Though I imagine even they were still threshold. It was very kaleidoscopic and yet hard to describe. I felt like there was something there doing somethng to my chest. So hard to explain. I could tell though I only broke the surface.

I feel I could have went farther, or at least got lost in it had I not opened my eyes. But I wanted to gauge the level. All in all I did too much thinking and analyzing.

I'll up it to 12mg next go

 

[WoBBleplexiA]

I respect your approach on the oh powerful spice. There's no shame in taking it slow no matter how experienced you are with previous psychedelics. A few of my friends have done it the same way as you and I don't blame them. The first time breaking through completely was extremely magical at the same time I thought I was dying. After coming back to landing I felt so happy to be alive and knew that the spice never wants to hurt, it just wants to be a friend. Never try to fight it, just let go and let the deems to the work. You won't regret it! :thumb_up:

 

[HigherThisSelf]

Oh my goodness... Last night I had at it again. And I'm wondering if I double dosed by mistake, or that was just what the effects of the dosage.

Last night I packed 13mg into my device. My sitter, and cat sat beside me on the bed as I took a moment to breath, and relax. The anxiety was strong, and I could not relax fully, or get my heart rate down to a comfortable level. But I knew it was now or never.

I was leaning against a stack of pillows stacked up against the wall at the end of the bed. I attempted to hit the device at this angle, so it was also at an angle, and I couldn't get a good hit. It only ended up being two small hits I took. I passed the device to my partner, closed my eyes and leaned back.... I waited.... nothing.........I blew it. I wasted the dose.

At this point the anxiety and slight fear I had, had faded into a calm ready to go state of mind. I repacked the device with 15mg.

This time I sat straight up so I could hold the pipe vertical at 90°. I held the flame to the opening and inhaled slowly. This time the chamber sort of POPPED with a plume of thick white vapors. I could already feel the smoke in my lungs, as well as see a full chamber of smoke. This made me nervous as I'd never had a hit this big prior... I cleared the whole thing. I held it in, handed the pipe to my sitter... last thing I remember is as I leaned back, closed my eyes, I placed each hand out to my side, and felt the lighter roll out of my hand and onto the floor...

I felt my lips go numb. This had me concerned, and then all of a sudden I was GONE.... I felt like my head was completely leaned back looking straight up at the ceiling (turns out I did not actually do this) and I was engulfed by a sort of ceiling of kaleidoscoping shapes and colors, mostly deep red/maroon, and yellow/gold constantly changing and moving in on itself... I had a thought that was like "wow... THIS IS WHAT THEY'RE ALL TALKING ABOUT" and also thought how the prior attempts showed me nothing, or prepared me even a sliver of an amount for this intensity.

As fast as I could have that thought, another thought, or something else saying to me "you wanted to see it.... behold...."
I felt my self being sucked away from the kaeidoscoping ceiling, and was pulled into an indescribable space. It reminded me of a like a cathedral or something similar. WIth arch windows made out of black and white stone. At the same time I was aware of people. Or things. All around me. And their tentacle-like arms reaching and twisting me around. There was no up or down. I was so disoriented... I thought I did it this time. I had to much. I wasn't ready for this type of dose. I lost contact with my physical body, and could no longer assess "I" I knew it was me, and ego was intact, but I kept trying to assess the severity of my situation. I thought "NO WAY CAN YOU COME BACK FROM THIS"

Sure enough, this induced panic. All my preparation did nothing and I was panicing.

While in this cathedral like palce I heard a baby screaming and crying (I think the TV was on in the other room playing into my trip) I wanted it to end so bad. I told myself to just breath it will be over soon... OH FUCK. AM I BREATHING?? I CAN'T TELL!!.... RELAX... I gave in and surrendered... at the same time I felt the effects fading and was now aware of my body.

I was so fucking happy to be back. So happy to see my girlfriend again... I couldn't understand why she didnt share the same enthusiasm to see me after being gone for so long. I knew what I went through was so powerfu, that everyone was shooken by this.

I said "I hope I never forget where i just was"... I couldn't even finish the sentence with out feeling the memory fade right before me.

Then I just laid there still laughing at what I just happened to me. I was sweating and shaking, but felt great to be alive.






So that was that. I'm very disappointed in myself for panicking. I thought I was over that. I learned I have A LOT of work to do with myself. I won't be going over 15mg for some time... Also I'm not sure if there was still left over from the first attempt and in reality I may have had more than 15mg. I didn't think 15mg would be so strong, and make me lose contact with my body.


Sorry for the long winded report. Thanks for reading!!

 

[3rdI]

welcome to the mystery:thumb_up:

I knew what I went through was so powerfu, that everyone was shooken by this.

Oh yes, i love that feeling, it does feel like all of existence should have pricked their ears up at the disturbance you caused in space and time.

the craziest thing is that it get infinitely more crazy.

happy travels

 

[HigherThisSelf]

I couldn't even imagine that it gets more crazy. I mean I get it. It does. But I can't imagine how.

I thought for sure there was no returning because I was too disassembled. No way was there going back after that... sure enough. Back I went. But goddamn.