electro
Rising Star
Hi Nexus,
Let me say first that I absolutely love this forum. Good to see such friendly, polite, intellectual community. I'm glad to become a part of it at last.
My story:
I'm 32.
My journey began when I was 18. I took a heroic dose of Ps. Semilanceata - I didn't know how to make a proper dose because I never took psychedelics before. One hour after ingestion my ego dissolved into nothing. There's no need to describe the experience itself in details - I think people on this forum have experienced that many times. When I was back, I realized that from now on my life won't be the same anymore.
When I was 23 I had another notable near-death experience from extremely high dose of DXM (by mistake again - later I found that my scales were broken. The dose was very close to lethal). I found myself in a dark silent timeless space. I was surrounded by 5 persons. We were standing in a ring of green fire. I wasn't able to see their faces. At the same time I found some strange and absolutely new feeling inside of me. It was hard to understand what it is because I never felt it before. And then I realized... that feeling are thoughts of 5 persons surrounding me! I can read their thoughts! I was shocked to death. That was like in Robert Monroe books when you get a "ball of packed thoughts" and you need to unpack it. So I started to unpack... And I found that there was nothing but overwhelming, mind-blowing Love. I could feel it almost as a wind. It was very cold Love, without any tint of pleasure as we usually experience it on psychedelics. That was very "one-way" Love if that makes sense. One strong flow from them - to me. Without any tiniest expectation of good response from my side as we humans usually do. That was true Unconditional Love. I continued with unpacking... And then I found other parts of the message: they were very, very disturbed about me. They knew that I'm in trouble and that I shouldn't be there. And they were ready to help. I felt very clear that their devotion to me is so incredibly strong that they can sacrifice their own existence - right now, without asking for any reward - only to save me. That was incredible. I still can't fit that into my head. I'm still guessing who they were. Robert Monroe says that those "helpers" are your own next reincarnations. Well if that's true and if I'm going to become those guys one day, then human life definitely worth that.
But you read this message which means they saved me somehow. Hey guys! Thank you so much for saving me. And hope to meet you (become you?) again one day.
Soon after that I packed my backpack, left a note to my parents that I'm leaving to forest and I will never be back.
And I spent 3 years in forest. Yep. I was searching for knowledge. Those were the most exciting years of my life. Have you seen the movie "Into the wild"? That's my story. But I had a happy end - I survived.
Still in forest, I got ayahuasca. I have taken it about 5 times. Ayahuasca told me all I needed to know - why we are here, why it's so important to get through an experience of human life, and what is Love. After that I realized that I don't need to live in forest anymore. I realized that I want to go back home. I want to hug my Mother and tell her how much I love her.
Then I returned back home. My mother was very glad to see me again, and so were my friends. I got married and I have the most beautiful wife in the world. And now we together are spreading the message of Love.
Let me say first that I absolutely love this forum. Good to see such friendly, polite, intellectual community. I'm glad to become a part of it at last.
My story:
I'm 32.
My journey began when I was 18. I took a heroic dose of Ps. Semilanceata - I didn't know how to make a proper dose because I never took psychedelics before. One hour after ingestion my ego dissolved into nothing. There's no need to describe the experience itself in details - I think people on this forum have experienced that many times. When I was back, I realized that from now on my life won't be the same anymore.
When I was 23 I had another notable near-death experience from extremely high dose of DXM (by mistake again - later I found that my scales were broken. The dose was very close to lethal). I found myself in a dark silent timeless space. I was surrounded by 5 persons. We were standing in a ring of green fire. I wasn't able to see their faces. At the same time I found some strange and absolutely new feeling inside of me. It was hard to understand what it is because I never felt it before. And then I realized... that feeling are thoughts of 5 persons surrounding me! I can read their thoughts! I was shocked to death. That was like in Robert Monroe books when you get a "ball of packed thoughts" and you need to unpack it. So I started to unpack... And I found that there was nothing but overwhelming, mind-blowing Love. I could feel it almost as a wind. It was very cold Love, without any tint of pleasure as we usually experience it on psychedelics. That was very "one-way" Love if that makes sense. One strong flow from them - to me. Without any tiniest expectation of good response from my side as we humans usually do. That was true Unconditional Love. I continued with unpacking... And then I found other parts of the message: they were very, very disturbed about me. They knew that I'm in trouble and that I shouldn't be there. And they were ready to help. I felt very clear that their devotion to me is so incredibly strong that they can sacrifice their own existence - right now, without asking for any reward - only to save me. That was incredible. I still can't fit that into my head. I'm still guessing who they were. Robert Monroe says that those "helpers" are your own next reincarnations. Well if that's true and if I'm going to become those guys one day, then human life definitely worth that.
But you read this message which means they saved me somehow. Hey guys! Thank you so much for saving me. And hope to meet you (become you?) again one day.
Soon after that I packed my backpack, left a note to my parents that I'm leaving to forest and I will never be back.
And I spent 3 years in forest. Yep. I was searching for knowledge. Those were the most exciting years of my life. Have you seen the movie "Into the wild"? That's my story. But I had a happy end - I survived.
Still in forest, I got ayahuasca. I have taken it about 5 times. Ayahuasca told me all I needed to know - why we are here, why it's so important to get through an experience of human life, and what is Love. After that I realized that I don't need to live in forest anymore. I realized that I want to go back home. I want to hug my Mother and tell her how much I love her.
Then I returned back home. My mother was very glad to see me again, and so were my friends. I got married and I have the most beautiful wife in the world. And now we together are spreading the message of Love.
