God Freaks Self Out By Lying Awake Contemplating Own Immortality
THE HEAVENS—Sources close to God reported Thursday that the Creator of the Universe and Author of Our Eternal Salvation suffered a crippling bout of existential dread this week, lying awake all night as He pondered His own immortality.
www.theonion.com
''That’s one, two, three, four, five—five trillion years from now I’m still going to be here, for f***s sake...''
I nearly spat cranberry juice on my screen laughing at that.