God

[thecosmicjoke]

I am typing this while still on the floor after an incredibly heavy experience. Some of which I don’t know what to make of, other of which I know exactly the takeaway.

Key takeaway- there is a lot of leeway in spirituality these days. You are allowed to pick what you want and discard what you don’t, like a spiritual buffet. The issue with this is that we all will bow to God eventually, regardless of your beliefs on it.

To start, I switched my DMT vape ratio from 4:1 to 3:1. While I was worried I would get less from this, the opposite is true. The vape I have has a much better capacity to burn a 3:1 than a 4:1, and I felt like my DMT went further for less than normal.

The experience began with me following a woman who I believed to be my spiritual partner. She was perfect in every aspect, and I compared her to my current partner. It seems I was promised this perfect partner, even if it were after death.

This brought me back to a DMT experience where I was reunited with my “spiritual horse”, as if it were something I had before I came to Earth, and that I will be promised it again after death.

As I continued to follow being promised this perfect woman and this beautiful horse, I began to fear that I was being tempted by the devil. Not appreciating what I currently have for a belief that I will have something better in the future. I think this was a pivotal moment in the experience, because I declined the offer of these wonderful things feeling as if it were a temptation and a distraction.

Few will relate to what I describe next, and I would love to get in touch with those who do. I call it “opening up”. When my eyes roll back and focus on the third eye, a certain muscle in my ear canal is implemented that I feel “milks” the pineal and produces DMT. This is something I can’t often do, and there is a muscle that I am only fully in control of when I am “completely open”. The geometry and color generated from this is indescribable, as many would relate to.

I have met God before in this place, and as I continued milking the pineal with the muscles within my ears, I felt like His presence was near. I continued smoking DMT and working this gland, and it got progressively more intense.

I’m not sure exactly when this occurred, but I will continue the story from here as the bridging is difficult to recall. I fell to the floor in Childs pose, and I felt like my spine and neck were being controlled externally. My neck was pushed into the ground, and I imagined being held by the scruff as if I were a lion cub. God was picking up my soul with his fingertips, and swinging it around in an effort to show me how in control he really is, similar to how father lions assert dominance over their cubs. I actually felt my throat begin to close and I struggled to breathe.

I continued to repeat how much I respect and bow to Him, and He showed me that not only was he physically dominant over me, but that He had domain over every aspect of my life. Every moment, every cell, every heart beat marches to his tune. This was terrifying, but also wasn’t terrifying, because I placed all of my trust in Him regardless.

I continued to plead with Him, and begged Him to stay. Now, as the lion cub I was, he dropped me by the scruff and instead held me to his chest. I cried to Him as I told him how much I miss him and how badly I want him to stay. Moments this distinctly in Gods presence are rare, and I long for them. I told Him that I will do whatever He asks of me. Just tell me, and I will do.

I think those who are prideful will find it hellish to submit to Gods will, because they will struggle hopelessly. This feels as if God is being cold, but it is just like a father establishing hierarchy over his children. A fathers word is no good to a disobedient child. He is here to help us, and it will be far less painful if we just listen and obey.

There is a narrative going around these days that God is all love, because it is easily digestible and agreeable to by everyone. Not many admit to Gods sovereignty and power. Yes, He is love, but He is also incredibly stern. Like Arjunas vision of Krishna on the chariot, God is just as much love as he is annihilation.

This experience came with convulsions, altered breathing patterns, and continuous engagement of those inner ear muscles I fail to have a word for. The third eye was completely open for this one, and I really, truly, want someone to reach out if they have experienced this. I have “opened up” like this before, and the first few came with seizures.

Please reach out to help me put words to my experiences and implement any tools you have found.

Praise be to God, may you come to Him before He comes to you.

 

[Transform]

Deep!

I know those ear muscles you're talking about - the 'brain gland' effect can also engaged through really intense and focussed conscious yawning, although I've only achieved this twice in about fifteen years, albeit not of continuous effort.

[As something of a footnote, the pineal's location in the very middle of the brain make it unlikely to be affected by muscular action. The pituitary sits in a location that appears far more likely to be affected by inner ear/upper respiratory tract musculature.]

My speculations on the matter also include the possible effects of skull flexion on CSF and/or lymph flow on the underside of the brain. Sorry that I don't have much in the way of words regarding the god bit, although I have experienced spontaneous, guided movement during a far less intense experience than yours.

Do you have any more words, these three weeks later, on how you've felt in the aftermath of this experience?

 

[thecosmicjoke]

Deep!

I know those ear muscles you're talking about - the 'brain gland' effect can also engaged through really intense and focussed conscious yawning, although I've only achieved this twice in about fifteen years, albeit not of continuous effort.

[As something of a footnote, the pineal's location in the very middle of the brain make it unlikely to be affected by muscular action. The pituitary sits in a location that appears far more likely to be affected by inner ear/upper respiratory tract musculature.]

My speculations on the matter also include the possible effects of skull flexion on CSF and/or lymph flow on the underside of the brain. Sorry that I don't have much in the way of words regarding the god bit, although I have experienced spontaneous, guided movement during a far less intense experience than yours.

Do you have any more words, these three weeks later, on how you've felt in the aftermath of this experience?

Hey, thanks for following the post. Reading it weeks later feels mildly cringe and it’s hard to imagine people relate. In the last 3 weeks, I’ve spent 10 days at a silent meditation retreat. Coming back from that and smoking DMT again, I was told I was “cutting the line”, and that I should focus more on my meditative efforts. The meditation retreat also showed me that I place far too much significance on the spiritual experiences of psychedelics and third eye work, and that it is all transient just like anything else.

That third eye spot has become sensitive, and I don’t know if it’s due to smoking a hefty amount (objectively probably too much ) of DMT in the 2-3 months leading to my meditation retreat. There were moments on the retreat, one specifically, where the light in my forehead grew incredibly intense and became an undeniably palpable sensation. Now, often at night, when I close my eyes to sleep, I see psychedelic movements in the darkness of my eyelids and the third eye space feels especially sensitive.

I don’t think there’s much of a point in it. I don’t think the third eye opening is a way to enlightenment, I think it’s more of a side-effect. It’s not something to focus on, at least that’s how I feel about it now. My feelings on things change with the wind.

Please feel free to keep in touch about your third eye stuff, I really welcome you to. I don’t have anybody in my real life that relates to it. It feels good to roll the eyes back, and I notice those ear muscles engage more than they used to- but it could be cognitive bias and a larger awareness of what’s happening in the body since the retreat. I try not to do it often in an effort to not generate attachment to the sensation. Through subjective experience, there’s certainly a correlation between what we call the third eye and those yawning ear muscles.