1664
Rising Star
Last night I took my first 2 proper breakthrough doses. I tried a new smoking technique and this made the difference. It was Pau Darco changa, I know I vaped all the spice perfectly and held it for a long time in one huge breath. Like has been said so many times before, you know when you break through.
The first journey I kept eyes open for the first minute. My bong began to vibrate and shatter which was getting too much. I closed my eyes and was immediately propelled into what felt like some kind of ancient platform or plateau, but with incredibly complex structure. My worries about various problems about letting go flitted into and out of my head and I saw them for what they were (I can't explain what they became, but they weren't problems anymore) I felt my head and shoulders expanding somehow, my sense of self was removed. I can't really describe the peak more than that, but soon after, I could feel my ego coming back in fits and starts.
This was a most enjoyable part. I was my "normal" self, but knew I was immersed in hyperspace. Outpourings of amazment, joy, gratefullness flowed through me. Shortly after I opened my eyes again, there was some kind of structure laced on top of the room. I spent the 3 minute comedown laughing with joy. I was amazed, and even thanked the nexus for its help getting me there.
The second experience did not go so well. As I approached the peak I was full of self doubt. I failed to surrender at first and wanted "out" for a moment. The experience didn't go dark, but there was no loss of self or sublime feelings. The main recollection I have is of some kind of tricky elf / gnome character revolving through the hyperspace fabric in a circular machine of some sort, laughing at me. Very strange.
While the experiences were amazing, I found it difficult to remember or take much away from them. Have others found this improves with experience? The way the experience "slips through the fingers" as McKenna says is frustrating!
In both experiences I felt what was like shards of wood or something in my mouth when I moved my tongue. This felt so real. Anyone else have experience something similar?
The first journey I kept eyes open for the first minute. My bong began to vibrate and shatter which was getting too much. I closed my eyes and was immediately propelled into what felt like some kind of ancient platform or plateau, but with incredibly complex structure. My worries about various problems about letting go flitted into and out of my head and I saw them for what they were (I can't explain what they became, but they weren't problems anymore) I felt my head and shoulders expanding somehow, my sense of self was removed. I can't really describe the peak more than that, but soon after, I could feel my ego coming back in fits and starts.
This was a most enjoyable part. I was my "normal" self, but knew I was immersed in hyperspace. Outpourings of amazment, joy, gratefullness flowed through me. Shortly after I opened my eyes again, there was some kind of structure laced on top of the room. I spent the 3 minute comedown laughing with joy. I was amazed, and even thanked the nexus for its help getting me there.
The second experience did not go so well. As I approached the peak I was full of self doubt. I failed to surrender at first and wanted "out" for a moment. The experience didn't go dark, but there was no loss of self or sublime feelings. The main recollection I have is of some kind of tricky elf / gnome character revolving through the hyperspace fabric in a circular machine of some sort, laughing at me. Very strange.
While the experiences were amazing, I found it difficult to remember or take much away from them. Have others found this improves with experience? The way the experience "slips through the fingers" as McKenna says is frustrating!
In both experiences I felt what was like shards of wood or something in my mouth when I moved my tongue. This felt so real. Anyone else have experience something similar?
