Bonny
Rising Star
Had a little DMT party and SWIM introduced 3 other people to the spice.
One hated it from the off, just the feeling of loss of control and abstained.
One had 3 trips of Nirvana (apparently), then got a beating by Andross.
One had 3 trips all in a cuddly room he could interact with, and loved them all.
All three ended up bonging with Caapi, mainly because they disliked bonging with tobacco (harsher).
I did one hit, trying to go gentle, with ~40mg and Caapi. Nothing happened. Popped in, popped out, world was a bit odd. That was it.
So, after my mate who hated it had his go, I could see the bowl had barely been lit. So I weighed out 60mg and buried that in to the caapi, and chucked a bit more caapi on.
Lit, hit a few times, and rolled back. Barely felt my eyes close when I reopened them. I don't know how long I was under before, but I looked up, saw my friends... then saw them kaleidoscope away like the deck of cards at the end of solitaire. Then the room did, and then my whole grip on reality did. Who I was, who they were, where I was, what I was doing, what day it was. Blip, gone. Then I recall feeling myself compressed into a singularity. It was absolutely harrowing, the worst feeling of pure terror and dread I think one can imagine. Fighting for any link to your sanity.
Then, I became aware of the room and the friends in snippets. Little flashes of recognition, and could see the sniggering and sideways glances. Then became obsessed with the thought I had pissed myself. Which, in hindsight, probably did me a service, it gave me something to latch on to. I staggered from the sofa and left the room, alone, muttering something about going for a piss (mainly to check/clear up). The room at this point was still kaleidoscoping in and out, and time was still lurching about in a very undignified manner.
I got to the bottom of the stairs, and looked up them. They seemed to go on for infinity, and yet stop instantly at my feet. Each board began to float apart, and generally cause great alarm. As I grasped the bannister for dear life, I looked to my left at the room. It was swaying in and out of phase with my reality. Breaking apart in a very suspicious and unusual manner. I eventually (and very tentatively) finished climbing the stairs, and got to the bathroom. What assaulted me when I opened the door was next to impossible to explain. But it seemed so utterly alien, many colours and shades of madness. I soldiered on to my task at hand, and got my cock out. It had shrunk to all of about 1cm long, such was the abject panic I suppose. My face was morphing in and out of normality, and everywhere brilliant hues of green and red flooded into vision.
After that task was completed and I knew I was piss free
lol I slowly approached the stairs, which still seemed very unsafe and unfamiliar.
I got to the front room, where my friends still were, and again they kaleidoscope away to nothing and the room starts panicking. That was about the point I darted for the sofa and buried myself in a pillow. Cautiously peeking every now and then to see if it had worn off.
Some 20 minutes later I began to make enough sense of my self and surroundings to re-integrate. I became euphoric about 30 minutes later simply to be back to reality. Walking round a supermarket afterwards was delightfully 'real' at the time.
So, why have my last trips with caapi been so disturbingly real world? What do people find with dosing? DMT straight is almost 100% CEV, yet the Caapi has been almost 100% OEV... and damn lucidly as well.
And do people encounter this gibbering ego-death/insanity and manage to push through it, or is that a brick wall to most of you? I honestly cannot see how one can mount a conscious defence against it when one cannot think... Unless the trick is to completely accept it, but again, I can't see how one can be rejecting it when one is just washed over by the power.
If it happens again, I at least have proof I survived and became normal again, and perhaps that will help. But this is beginning to become a recurrent them... :think:
One hated it from the off, just the feeling of loss of control and abstained.
One had 3 trips of Nirvana (apparently), then got a beating by Andross.
One had 3 trips all in a cuddly room he could interact with, and loved them all.
All three ended up bonging with Caapi, mainly because they disliked bonging with tobacco (harsher).
I did one hit, trying to go gentle, with ~40mg and Caapi. Nothing happened. Popped in, popped out, world was a bit odd. That was it.
So, after my mate who hated it had his go, I could see the bowl had barely been lit. So I weighed out 60mg and buried that in to the caapi, and chucked a bit more caapi on.
Lit, hit a few times, and rolled back. Barely felt my eyes close when I reopened them. I don't know how long I was under before, but I looked up, saw my friends... then saw them kaleidoscope away like the deck of cards at the end of solitaire. Then the room did, and then my whole grip on reality did. Who I was, who they were, where I was, what I was doing, what day it was. Blip, gone. Then I recall feeling myself compressed into a singularity. It was absolutely harrowing, the worst feeling of pure terror and dread I think one can imagine. Fighting for any link to your sanity.
Then, I became aware of the room and the friends in snippets. Little flashes of recognition, and could see the sniggering and sideways glances. Then became obsessed with the thought I had pissed myself. Which, in hindsight, probably did me a service, it gave me something to latch on to. I staggered from the sofa and left the room, alone, muttering something about going for a piss (mainly to check/clear up). The room at this point was still kaleidoscoping in and out, and time was still lurching about in a very undignified manner.
I got to the bottom of the stairs, and looked up them. They seemed to go on for infinity, and yet stop instantly at my feet. Each board began to float apart, and generally cause great alarm. As I grasped the bannister for dear life, I looked to my left at the room. It was swaying in and out of phase with my reality. Breaking apart in a very suspicious and unusual manner. I eventually (and very tentatively) finished climbing the stairs, and got to the bathroom. What assaulted me when I opened the door was next to impossible to explain. But it seemed so utterly alien, many colours and shades of madness. I soldiered on to my task at hand, and got my cock out. It had shrunk to all of about 1cm long, such was the abject panic I suppose. My face was morphing in and out of normality, and everywhere brilliant hues of green and red flooded into vision.
After that task was completed and I knew I was piss free
lol I slowly approached the stairs, which still seemed very unsafe and unfamiliar. I got to the front room, where my friends still were, and again they kaleidoscope away to nothing and the room starts panicking. That was about the point I darted for the sofa and buried myself in a pillow. Cautiously peeking every now and then to see if it had worn off.
Some 20 minutes later I began to make enough sense of my self and surroundings to re-integrate. I became euphoric about 30 minutes later simply to be back to reality. Walking round a supermarket afterwards was delightfully 'real' at the time.
So, why have my last trips with caapi been so disturbingly real world? What do people find with dosing? DMT straight is almost 100% CEV, yet the Caapi has been almost 100% OEV... and damn lucidly as well.
And do people encounter this gibbering ego-death/insanity and manage to push through it, or is that a brick wall to most of you? I honestly cannot see how one can mount a conscious defence against it when one cannot think... Unless the trick is to completely accept it, but again, I can't see how one can be rejecting it when one is just washed over by the power.
If it happens again, I at least have proof I survived and became normal again, and perhaps that will help. But this is beginning to become a recurrent them... :think:
