Ovidroid
Rising Star
So I've been a lurker around here for a couple months now, learning extraction teks, ingestion methods, exploring other people's journeys and impressions, and getting a feel for the community. I have to say I really like it here! I visit every day and can't seem to get enough... So I thought I would say hello to everyone and share an experience with you all. It wasn't my first journey into metareality, but there were some firsts about it... including my first "report." I'm not generally good at introductions or talking about myself, but I will, before sharing my night's journey, say the following:
I have struggled, I suppose, with the question "who or what am I?" for a few years. I also like to keep to myself. I always have. I described myself as a "loner" in an essay in the 3rd grade before I even knew what the word meant. I find a certain comfort in being alone. I'm sure there are reasons for that, but I won't go into them. I only bring it up because it seems critical, to me, as to why I am at this site and why I am so interested in the psychedelic experience. I thirst for insight into myself, into others, into the world around me, into the nature of reality... but I feel a certain limitation in my ability to achieve that insight through typical day-to-day life. I wake up, work, eat, sleep, exercise, read, etc. as everyone else does, but how can you see and know what "the box" is or looks like if you are always contained within it? That is kind of a lame reference to "thinking outside the box," I suppose, but really it's a cliche for a reason!
If you are always task-oriented (gotta get this or that done, or do this thing at 3 this afternoon) or focused on the day-to-day things, then I think you lose track of the deeper meaning behind everything and everyone. The bigger picture becomes fuzzy as the pixels themselves engage in a sort of mutiny, distracing you. A balance amongst all levels of detail, I think, is important in order to really pick up on the magnitude and meaning of something. I long to get closer to that very personal realization of meaning, without resorting to any kind of dogma, which in my opinion seems to circumvent that personal realization in favor of a "communal" realization that seems more like self-hypnosis through repetition than a realization, even if the meaning behind the dogma were to be the ultimate truth. I am not trying to offend anyone here who may hold certain religious views. Hopefully that's understood. I don't hope to uncover "the truth" through psychedelic experience, I hope to prepare myself, through my journeys, to be open to any truth that decides to present itself to me, either through the psychedelic experience or normal waking consciousness. As I learn more and more, I truly hope that out of that will grow a comfort to expand in my own life a little, and be less of a loner. To unite with others to a greater extent and, I hope, share the joy of life!
So, that was a longer introduction than I expected to write, but, there it is. If you're still reading... maybe you'll put up with a little bit more of my rambling My experience this evening:
I had some laundry in the dryer, which was keeping me from going to bed. My roommate had just returned from his typical Sunday church activities and we talked about finishing unpacking and getting a couch and how un-holiday-ish our apartment looks without any tree or decorations or Christmas lights of any kind. Well, being sort of lazy bachelors, that's just not a big enough deal to really do anything about, but I digress. It was a nice chat, so I decided that since he was sprawled on the floor, like he is prone to do at any given time (I've found him sleeping half under his bed while looking for something), falling asleep, I would load up my GVG with a pinch of spice and see what the spirits were up to.
The experience crept up on me, and at first I was just standing there in the living room looking into our kitchen. I'm not sure why. I felt that distinct feeling of coming up, and at the time I was thinking, "this is JUST like when I stand up too fast and feel like I'm gonna blackout." I always enjoy that feeling... it's like a mini-trip in and of itself. Every point in my visual field seems to be its own point-source of light (which in physical terms isn't too far off) that I am accutely aware of, like the ultimate reality is sneakily hiding behind everything and ready to jump out and yell "BOO!" Well, I realized I wasn't going to be able to stand for much longer, so I crashed on the floor, too. It was a swimmy feeling I had, and a light on my ceiling that I glanced at was making purple copies of itself behind my eyelids and adorning various imaginary things, like what seemed to be a spider on a web or something. But then it took a Christmas-y turn! There were a few elves (not the McKenna machine elves, they were cartoonish elven impressions with green elf hats with the dangly white ball at the end) who seemed to take those copies of that purple orb and they seemed to be attaching them to things inside my mind... like my mind was a present they had opened for Christmas and they were playing around inside it. It was like they were hanging these orbs on the axons of my neurons... decorating my brain for the season It was funny to me!
Then, the images started to wind down and I resumed talking to my roommate. My voice felt full and robust and the vibrations in the floor from my vocalizations were like the vibrations in a massage chair. Relaxing and stimulating at the same time. For some reason they were very noticeable now.
It was a nice experience. Not overwhelming... seemed even a bit threshold in its nature, but very satisfying and optimistic.
I haven't smoked around anyone before, I usually do it at night before bed, or once in a while in the morning before work (that is a mind-melting time to venture into hyperspace), so I wanted to keep it fairly light. Probably a good choice. I had a really topsy-turvy experience about a week ago where my ceiling opened up into a wormhole wherein I felt like I glimpsed infinity that was adorned with neon-colored glyphs emblazoned upon geometric shapes that were spinning and grinding and colliding and mirroring themselves. I am not so sure I would want to experience that with anyone else around.
Anyway, I hope this hasn't been too dull of a read for you... if you've made it this far! I look forward to continuing to explore the Nexus and the wealth of knowledge and good spirits that seem to abound in here.
Cheers!
I have struggled, I suppose, with the question "who or what am I?" for a few years. I also like to keep to myself. I always have. I described myself as a "loner" in an essay in the 3rd grade before I even knew what the word meant. I find a certain comfort in being alone. I'm sure there are reasons for that, but I won't go into them. I only bring it up because it seems critical, to me, as to why I am at this site and why I am so interested in the psychedelic experience. I thirst for insight into myself, into others, into the world around me, into the nature of reality... but I feel a certain limitation in my ability to achieve that insight through typical day-to-day life. I wake up, work, eat, sleep, exercise, read, etc. as everyone else does, but how can you see and know what "the box" is or looks like if you are always contained within it? That is kind of a lame reference to "thinking outside the box," I suppose, but really it's a cliche for a reason!
If you are always task-oriented (gotta get this or that done, or do this thing at 3 this afternoon) or focused on the day-to-day things, then I think you lose track of the deeper meaning behind everything and everyone. The bigger picture becomes fuzzy as the pixels themselves engage in a sort of mutiny, distracing you. A balance amongst all levels of detail, I think, is important in order to really pick up on the magnitude and meaning of something. I long to get closer to that very personal realization of meaning, without resorting to any kind of dogma, which in my opinion seems to circumvent that personal realization in favor of a "communal" realization that seems more like self-hypnosis through repetition than a realization, even if the meaning behind the dogma were to be the ultimate truth. I am not trying to offend anyone here who may hold certain religious views. Hopefully that's understood. I don't hope to uncover "the truth" through psychedelic experience, I hope to prepare myself, through my journeys, to be open to any truth that decides to present itself to me, either through the psychedelic experience or normal waking consciousness. As I learn more and more, I truly hope that out of that will grow a comfort to expand in my own life a little, and be less of a loner. To unite with others to a greater extent and, I hope, share the joy of life!So, that was a longer introduction than I expected to write, but, there it is. If you're still reading... maybe you'll put up with a little bit more of my rambling
My experience this evening: I had some laundry in the dryer, which was keeping me from going to bed. My roommate had just returned from his typical Sunday church activities and we talked about finishing unpacking and getting a couch and how un-holiday-ish our apartment looks without any tree or decorations or Christmas lights of any kind. Well, being sort of lazy bachelors, that's just not a big enough deal to really do anything about, but I digress. It was a nice chat, so I decided that since he was sprawled on the floor, like he is prone to do at any given time (I've found him sleeping half under his bed while looking for something), falling asleep, I would load up my GVG with a pinch of spice and see what the spirits were up to.
The experience crept up on me, and at first I was just standing there in the living room looking into our kitchen. I'm not sure why. I felt that distinct feeling of coming up, and at the time I was thinking, "this is JUST like when I stand up too fast and feel like I'm gonna blackout." I always enjoy that feeling... it's like a mini-trip in and of itself. Every point in my visual field seems to be its own point-source of light (which in physical terms isn't too far off) that I am accutely aware of, like the ultimate reality is sneakily hiding behind everything and ready to jump out and yell "BOO!" Well, I realized I wasn't going to be able to stand for much longer, so I crashed on the floor, too. It was a swimmy feeling I had, and a light on my ceiling that I glanced at was making purple copies of itself behind my eyelids and adorning various imaginary things, like what seemed to be a spider on a web or something. But then it took a Christmas-y turn! There were a few elves (not the McKenna machine elves, they were cartoonish elven impressions with green elf hats with the dangly white ball at the end) who seemed to take those copies of that purple orb and they seemed to be attaching them to things inside my mind... like my mind was a present they had opened for Christmas and they were playing around inside it. It was like they were hanging these orbs on the axons of my neurons... decorating my brain for the season
It was funny to me! Then, the images started to wind down and I resumed talking to my roommate. My voice felt full and robust and the vibrations in the floor from my vocalizations were like the vibrations in a massage chair. Relaxing and stimulating at the same time. For some reason they were very noticeable now.
It was a nice experience. Not overwhelming... seemed even a bit threshold in its nature, but very satisfying and optimistic.
I haven't smoked around anyone before, I usually do it at night before bed, or once in a while in the morning before work (that is a mind-melting time to venture into hyperspace), so I wanted to keep it fairly light. Probably a good choice. I had a really topsy-turvy experience about a week ago where my ceiling opened up into a wormhole wherein I felt like I glimpsed infinity that was adorned with neon-colored glyphs emblazoned upon geometric shapes that were spinning and grinding and colliding and mirroring themselves. I am not so sure I would want to experience that with anyone else around.
Anyway, I hope this hasn't been too dull of a read for you... if you've made it this far! I look forward to continuing to explore the Nexus and the wealth of knowledge and good spirits that seem to abound in here.
Cheers!
